1,500 Acres
by MeteorOnAMoonlessNight
Summary: One summer between high school and college changed Edward's ideas about his life's plans. Could he really build a life with a much older woman two thousand miles away? My entry for the TwiFandom News Forbidden Fruit Contest. Winner of 9 awards! *2018 TFFA 3rd place Favorite 5ever *2018/19 TFN 2nd place Je T'aime fic
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This was my entry to the Forbidden Fruit Contest put on by TwiFandom News. It's a May/December relationship. It won a few awards. Okay, it was 9 awards. :)**

* * *

 **Several months ago, it seemed that every time I turned on the radio I was hearing Garth Brooks' That Summer. It's an ooooold song, so it was unusual to be hearing it so much, but it put a bunny in my head that just wouldn't quit. I was sad that there wasn't a May/December contest anymore, and I whined (yes, whined) to BeLynda about it. She suggested that I write it out since it was bugging me, because you just never know. So I took her advice, and it took over my life for quite awhile, even while I was trying to write Seismic Shift. And then I heard that one of the categories for the Forbidden Fruit contest was younger man/older woman, and I knew I'd found the place for this fic.**

* * *

 **So, a few housekeeping items. Sarcastic Bimbo, Kimmie45, and coppertopj gave this their magic touch.**

 **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of S. Meyer. The original plot is the only thing that belongs to me. No copyright infringement is intended.**

 **The link to my facebook group is on my profile, and my blog is MeteorOnAMoonlessNight. blogspot. com**

* * *

 **This** **is rated M for lemons and language. Edward is 18/19 during the time he's with Bella. Bella is 32. She discusses domestic violence at the hands of her deceased husband. It's brief, but it's multiple times as she reveals her story slowly. There is an unlabeled POV switch at the end, but I think you'll be able to figure it out.**

* * *

 **I know next to nothing about farming/ranching. Thankfully, neither does Edward. It's safe to assume that the city boy is wrong about everything. ;)**

* * *

 **oOo**

I'm sitting here in this conference room in the most boring meeting of my life, and I can't seem to focus on the words presented by the speaker. I couldn't care less about profit margins, not when rotating crops are the only thing on my mind. Well, not the only thing. Brown hair spilling over strong shoulders, brown eyes, endless cups of coffee, and homemade lemonade. Those are the things I can't forget. The smell of hay and manure, sweat, and biscuits in the oven. T-shirts and jeans, not crisp cotton shirts and pressed suits. Not the tie that's strangling me. I clear my throat and tug on the knot, trying to loosen it.

I want to remember. I need to remember, to never forget.

It had only been three months, but those three months changed my life. Clearly, since I'm still thinking over them obsessively. It all started as I was about to graduate from high school at the end of last Spring. My parents were determined that I should complete community service hours if I didn't want to take summer courses before I accepted the intern position at their company. I'd been taking college credit courses throughout high school, and I was in no hurry to start at the University of Washington, so I agreed to their compromise. I had the whole summer to devote to it, and then I would join the company at the bottom and work my way up. It was a win-win for me… until I was sent to the middle of fucking nowhere, Oklahoma. A ranch owner, recently widowed, had asked for help through the Oklahoma University student exchange program. My parents got wind of it and asked me if I minded staying on a working ranch and helping her out until she could find a foreman to do the jobs her husband had always done. Picturing an older woman too weak to keep her livelihood going, I felt the stirrings of pity, and readily agreed.

The heat was different than what I was used to, that's what I thought first as the taxi took me from the airport out to a rural farming section. I rolled the window down, breathing in the scent of the sun on dried out grass. The wind was hot, dry. The longer we drove, the fewer buildings I could see. Soon, there was nothing but tall green crops on either side of the road; I was too naïve about farming to know what they were. The driver turned down a dusty lane with nothing more than a washed out, precariously tilted mailbox to indicate we were in the right place. As we got closer, I spotted a large white house, a red barn, what I thought was a silo, and several other buildings dotted around the property. There were a few cows wandering around an enclosed area, and a horse running in a far field.

The car stopped, and I got out and paid the driver before grabbing my bag from the trunk. I headed slowly up to the main house, assuming that was where I would find the woman I was working for. A mutt that looked like it had quite a few years on it was napping in the shade provided by the porch roof. A swing desperately in need of a paint job swung in the barest hint of a breeze. Sweat dripped down the back of my neck as I knocked on the rusty screen door. The dog picked up its head but dropped it again in disinterest.

"Hello!" I called out when nobody answered.

Still nothing. I left my duffel bag by the door and headed back out into the sun. Shading my eyes with my hand, I looked around the farm. Chickens were pecking the ground to my far right, a short wire fence keeping them from running off. They had a rather cute little red house if they needed shade. To my left were the cows I'd spotted, a good distance from the house, and further out was a huge field full of swaying green plants spread as far as I could see. Remembering that the barn was behind the house, I took off in that direction.

"Hello?" Where the fuck was everybody?

I entered the barn, and the heat changed to something downright stifling. The dark interior offered no respite, and the smell was enough to gag me. "Hello?" I called again, pulling the neckline of my shirt up to cover my nose.

"You the boy they sent to help me?" a female voice answered from somewhere in the back.

"Um, yes, ma'am." I shifted on my feet. I couldn't see her, only hear her. It was dark, and my eyes were barely adjusting as I moved forward.

"You'd better be strong, I swear to God. I need someone that can work hard, not cry over manual labor."

I followed the sound of her grumbling, finally finding her in the opening to one of the stalls. She was bent over, shovelling what I was positive was horse shit out of the stall and into a pile behind her.

"What can I do?" I asked, completely aware of just how out of my element I was.

"There's fresh straw down at the end, there." She pointed over her shoulder. "Add that in an inch high layer to the stalls down the way that I've already mucked."

Okay, no pleasantries or introductions. Sure thing. I moved past her, realizing that I could see better now that my eyes had adjusted. I found another shovel in a tool organizer hanging on the wall, and got to work.

It didn't take long to realize this was back-breaking work. Sweat rolled down my brow and into my eyes, making them sting. I shrugged my shoulder up to my forehead often to catch the drips, but I wasn't always successful. My entire body was covered in dust in a matter of minutes, and I still wasn't used to the smell. I paused to catch my breath after a while, and took a good look around.

There was a set of large double doors at both ends, open to the sunshine. Dust motes floated around in the light, making me sneeze. There were long fluorescent lights along the top of the high ceilings, but they weren't turned on. The last thing I noticed was the sound; there was none, other than the scrape of the widow's shovel. Occasionally I would hear what I thought was a cow, but I wasn't sure. I was so used to the constant sound of traffic, sirens, people talking and sometimes yelling, that the silence was too much.

"What do we do after we've finished this?" I spoke into the barn in general, since I assumed she'd be able to hear me.

First I heard a sigh, followed by the clang of her shovel. She moved, I could make out the shadow of her body, and then she was in front of me with a glass.

"You need to preserve your energy by _not_ talking, and stay hydrated." I couldn't make out her facial features, and her hair was tucked under the wide hat she wore. She was wearing pants and boots, but that was all I could see. She didn't _sound_ like she was a seventy year old widow woman.

I accepted the glass. "Thanks." I took a sip, finding it to be a really delicious lemonade.

She was already gone again.

By the time I caught up to the work she'd done, she was behind me adding some kind of horse food to the stalls we'd cleaned. Then she moved the pile of shit—that I now realized was in a wheelbarrow—and took it outside. Did they have a huge hole to dispose of it in? I followed her, and watched as she dumped it into a larger pile that also had food scraps. When she was done, she closed a little gate and latched it. Huh. The pile of shit had a fenced in yard of its own.

"Late enough chickens need feedin'," she said curtly, and I looked up just as she passed me.

"Coming," I responded, following her to the chicken house I'd seen. She hefted a large bag of something, and while I was gaping at her strength, she dropped it on a bench and cut into it, using her hand to scoop into it and throw it at the chickens. The knife went back in her pants pocket, and she gestured for me to do the feeding.

She disappeared again as I bent and scooped and tossed what had to be dried corn. Once all the chickens were eating, I looked around. There was a cabinet attached to the little house that said _Feed_ , so I moved the bag back in there. I didn't see her anywhere, but the sun was going down, so I went back to the front porch. The dog was gone now, and I decided to just open the door and go inside.

I found her in the kitchen, and the smell this time was so good my mouth was watering. It was definitely bread, and the distinct smell that comes from it baking. There was also a large pot of something on the stove that she was stirring. The pot was black and I swear its walls were an inch thick. I found myself staring at her back as she moved, and I noticed dark brown hair hanging in a braid, curly bits and pieces escaping the plait. Her shirt was blue checked, pushed up to the elbows, and her pants looked like regular chinos. Her boots were scuffed like she'd owned them for years, the toes a lighter color from the rest.

I realized at that moment that if I could see the toes of her shoes, it meant she'd turned around and caught me staring. I actually blushed, looking down at the floor. "The chickens are fed, ma'am, and I put the feed away in the cabinet."

"Thanks."

I glanced up, but she was turned to the stove again. I looked around at the pale yellow walls and the blue curtains with lace edging fluttering gently in the wind. The floor was wood, pale and scratched in a few places. I found the dog, laying by an empty dog bowl by the back door, asleep again. There were two plates, two bowls, and some cutlery on the shelf of a tall cabinet. I wanted to set the table, but I needed to wash my hands first.

I went to the sink to wash up, then gathered the dinnerware she'd set out and placed them on the small table. It rocked a little as I leaned on it to put down a fork, and I sprang away from it like it would collapse if I touched it. A little wary, I finished setting the table and turned to the stove as she pulled the pan from the oven.

"Mmm," I moaned at the smell as it assaulted my senses.

I heard a sigh, and she moved past me to set the pan down on the table. It was full of golden biscuits. The next thing she brought was the whole pot, which she sat on a trivet, and then dropped a ladle into it. "Hope you like stew."

"Yeah, sure." I didn't want her to serve me, but I thought it would be rude to just serve myself. Making a quick decision, I picked up my bowl and ladled the thick stew into it, then handed it to her and took her empty bowl to fill for myself. Not wanting to touch her biscuit with my bare hands, I tore one away from its neighbor and added it to the the small plate next to my bowl.

I started to eat, more hungry than I could have imagined. The beef was tender, the carrots and potatoes the perfect consistency. I couldn't believe she could run the ranch as well as she did alone, and cook this well, too. I finally slathered some of the butter she'd set out on my biscuit, and I truly thought I'd died and gone to a five star restaurant. I rinsed it down with more of the lemonade we'd had outside.

"Mmm," I moaned again, without thinking about it. "You are such a good cook," I said after I'd swallowed my bite.

I finally looked up. My hand was halfway to my mouth, but I froze in place. The woman across from me was not old. She was not wrinkled or grey haired. She was fucking beautiful.

"You done staring? Plenty left to do round here if you've nothin' better to occupy your mind than staring." Her tone was curt, like I'd pissed her off.

"I apologize, ma'am, it's just that they told me I was coming to help a widow…" I trailed off at her scowl.

"And only old people die, that it?"

"Ah, no. I meant no disrespect." I looked down at the table and stuffed more stew into my mouth.

The heart shaped face and the deep brown eyes were playing in my mind's eye. She had freckles across her cheeks, and full, dark pink lips. Her throat was creamy, and that was all I'd seen before I was reprimanded.

I was fucked.

I finished quickly and jumped up to wash the dishes. Only, I never dreamed I'd _actually_ have to wash the dishes by hand. I bit back my groan after furtively looking around the kitchen for a dishwasher. I ran the water until it got hot, then started the process of washing everything by hand. She came and dropped off dishes as she cleared the table, handling the pot herself after she put away the leftovers. She wiped it out and dabbed what looked like solid grease from a jar by the stove on the inside, rubbing that in until it shined.

I smelled coffee brewing by the time I had put the last glass in the drying rack. Wiping my hands on a towel, I turned to face the room. She was sitting at the table, a full mug by the stack of papers she was going over.

"Can I help?" I asked quietly.

She looked up at me, stared for quite some time. Just as I started to squirm, she lowered her gaze. Placing her pencil on the table, she pushed back her chair and stood. "I've a room ready for you upstairs."

With that, she walked away, so I was quick to follow. I snagged my bag from near the front door and tried not to watch her ass as she led me upstairs. I failed miserably. The walls were covered in an old patterned paper, some sort of tiny purple flowers that repeated. The bannister was smooth as silk from an unknown number of hands running over it through the years. The floors were all the same worn wood, but there were rugs scattered throughout, giving the house warmth. We reached the second floor and she went down the hall to the second door on the left.

"There's clean sheets, and the bathroom's there." She indicated with a chin nod to the door across the hall. "Towels in the closet, soap in the shower."

She left me standing in the doorway, watching her go back downstairs, and wondering why she spoke so little. I was so eager to strip off these dirty clothes and get a shower that I didn't spend much time worrying about it. I dragged my bag into the bathroom with me, almost crying at the lack of water pressure. At least it got hot. There was a yellow bar of soap resting in the soap holder that looked like it had never been touched. The tiling was uneven and jutted out in sharp angles.

When I was clean and dressed in boxers and a tank, I made my way back across the hall. When I moved to close the door, I realized I could see down the stairs to part of the living room. There was the woman, who's name I thought was Mrs. Swan, locking the front door and turning out the lights. I watched her stop by the last lamp, stretching her back and rubbing her temple. I couldn't guess how old she was, but she looked to be near my mother's age. Only I'd never thought my mother was nearly as strong and attractive as I found this woman.

I backed up and closed my door, finding the bed narrow and rather hard, but the sheets smelled nice and had a soft quality to them. I slept more easily than I expected, most likely due to sheer exhaustion.

oOo

The knock on my bedroom door came way too fucking early. I blinked, realizing that the room was still dark, but got up nonetheless. I opened the door to see the widow already dressed in her work pants, boots, hat, and a bandana tied at her neck.

"Gonna sleep all day?" she asked, then turned and went downstairs.

"No, just until the sun comes up," I muttered.

"Heard that!" she called, and I cringed. I didn't need to piss her off on my first full day.

I dressed quickly in the clothes that were outlined for me to bring. Jeans, my oldest work boots—which were probably still more expensive than her entire wardrobe—a baseball cap since it was the only hat I had, and a t-shirt. I dug out my Wayfarers and slipped them in the front of my shirt before stepping across the hall to utilize the bathroom.

I smelled coffee and bacon as I descended the stairs, and marvelled again at how much work this woman must put in on any given day. There was a plate on the table with a cloth napkin over it and a steaming cup of coffee next to it. I took my seat, noticing that she had the papers spread out again, and her plate was half empty. She got up to refill her coffee as I removed the napkin and dug in to eggs, bacon, and toast.

"What's first for today, Mrs. Swan?" I asked her as she sat back down.

She studied me over the rim of her mug. She took a sip and set it down with a snap. "You'll call me Bella. I don't want to be known as Mrs. Swan _ever_ again, if you don't mind."

That was the most she'd spoken to me since I arrived yesterday afternoon. "My name is Edward," I responded.

"I know."

"Okay." I waited while she folded and unfolded her napkin.

"I've fed the animals and milked the heifers. I need to fix a fence railing at the back of the property, collect eggs, muck the stalls again, and ready the steers for the auction tomorrow."

I gaped, I couldn't help it. "How long have you been up?"

"An hour." She went back to her breakfast, finishing her toast and drinking the last of her coffee. She went to the sink to wash her dishes, and I scarfed down my food to keep up.

After I'd washed my dishes, I followed her out the back door. She was standing on the porch, looking out at her property. I was dying to know what she was thinking, but I didn't ask. She headed down the steps and across the yard, and I simply followed her.

She was surprisingly patient with me. I must have fucked up everything I was doing, but she would just stop me with a hand over mine and show me again. I had to ignore the feel of her warm skin sending goosebumps up my arm as we mended the broken fence rail before moving on to the cows I'd seen in the corral yesterday. She said we had to check the bottoms of their feet as she ran her hand over their sides, but I wasn't sure what she was doing. I was way too nervous to get that close to a cow, and they kept turning their heads toward me and freaking me out. They had huge horns, and I was sure I was about to become a shish kabob. Bella deemed them all ready to sell, and we moved on to the chickens.

Apparently, I had to stick my hand under the hen's ass if she was sitting in her nest. I could only imagine how much amusement Bella got out of me getting pecked on the hand and then cursing, over and over again. My favorites were the ones that had already moved out of the coop and I could simply grab the eggs. Thankfully, I didn't drop any, but I _was_ bleeding by the time we were done.

"Oh, dear," she murmured. "Let's wrap those."

"I'm fine," I insisted.

She merely grabbed my wrist and dragged me into the house. Pushing me into the kitchen chair that I considered mine, she picked up my hand and studied it before moving to the sink and getting a white box out from under it. I saw that it was a first aid kit as she set it on the table at my other elbow. She worked silently, cleaning the nicks with alcohol wipes, spreading on antibacterial ointment with a tongue depressor, and smoothing a bandaid over each one.

Her hands were callused but gentle. Her warm breath puffed out over my hand as she worked, and I stared at the crown of her head as she was bent over my hand. Her hair was a multitude of colors in the sun; brown, red, blonde, even a few grey hairs. Inside, it simply looked like chocolate. I tried desperately not to get hard at her closeness.

"I've gloves, I'll get 'em."

"Thank you," I said quietly, watching her walk away.

I was _so_ fucked.

oOo

The next afternoon, after I'd already put in a full eight hours of work, a truck pulled into the dirt driveway. I stopped what I was doing and watched as the driver pulled over to the cow barn and backed his trailer up to the gate in the fence. A large man with dark hair got out of the truck and came toward the house.

"She's in the horse barn," I called before he walked too far.

He looked over at me, and I felt like he was sizing me up. I did the same, since I had the time, and all I could seem to focus on was his arms. They were thick, as big around as my thighs. He came toward me, and I saw that his thighs were bigger around than my head.

"I'm Emmett. Bella is expecting me; I'm taking the steer to auction for her." He stuck his hand out, so I accepted the handshake. He wasn't an ass that tried to exert his strength, and I appreciated that.

"Edward. I'm here helping out for the summer."

"Yeah, I remember something about a city boy getting roped into helping." He chuckled a little. "Anyway, you know where she put the milk cans? I'll load those first, and if you can get the eggs, they go in the front seat."

I knew what he was talking about, because Bella mentioned that she sold her eggs and milk to help offset her costs. "Sure."

I led him to the porch and the large milk cans she'd filled in the past few days. We'd just set them out recently, and he hefted one on each shoulder like they weighed nothing. I picked up the pallet of eggs and followed him. After I set them in the front passenger seat, I watched him putting the milk in a refrigerated section between the cab of the truck and the trailer.

"Wanna help?" he asked. I jumped, realizing I'd been caught staring.

"Sure."

I wasn't too eager to get that close to the cattle again, but I knew I had to suck it up and do my job. Emmett went into the pen and waved his hat and hollered at the cows, and they started lumbering away from him. He directed them to the chute that led to the gate his truck was parked at, and I opened the gate as the first one came close. They were so slow, but I knew that was just how they were. I closed the gate after the first bull and waited for the next one to come along. Working together, it still took the better part of an hour to load eight steers.

When we were done, Emmett offered me a cold bottle of water, and I accepted. We both wiped the sweat from our faces and drank deeply.

I decided to venture a conversation. "Bella doesn't say much," I started.

"Nope."

Really? "How long has she been a widow?" I pressed.

"Six months." He took another drink and looked at me for a long time. "I went to school with Bella, since kindergarten. Everybody knows everybody in this town, but it's different when you're in the same grade. The classes are small, and we were good friends."

He paused, and I wondered if that was all I'd get. Then he started up again. "She was forced to marry. She lived with her Ma, Renée Higginbotham, and when old Mr. Swan wanted a wife, he came asking for young Bella. After the wedding, we learned that Renée was sick. She died within months, but she'd seen her daughter taken care of, and that was her goal, honestly. She didn't truly know what kind of a man he was."

He sighed, and I thought of all that he had said. "I don't know if I should pity her or admire her."

"Neither," he snorted. "She'd hate both. I tried to help her over the years, but she wouldn't accept help until that bastard was in the ground and she had no choice." Emmett shifted, threw his bottle into the cab, and looked back at me. "Just do your job and leave her be."

I accepted the warning for what it was; someone looking out for his friend. "Yeah, all right."

He got in his truck and pulled out slowly, and I watched him go. When I turned back to the house, Bella was standing on the steps leading to the front porch. Her dog was standing by her side, his tongue hanging out.

"I appreciate you helping him," she said as I approached.

"No problem," I replied.

"Dinner is ready."

"Okay, I'll just wash up and be down."

I took a few minutes, washing my hands and face and trying to smooth my hair down. It refused to be completely tamed, but it was better than nothing.

When I arrived in the kitchen, Bella was setting down two plates on her little table. I wasn't entirely sure what the meat was, but of course I recognized the mashed potatoes and glazed carrots. There was more of the lemonade that I was pretty sure she made from scratch.

And those heavenly biscuits. When she came back to the table with a pan full of them, I grinned. "It looks amazing," I said sincerely.

She actually blushed. "Thank you." It was surprising how young she looked when she smiled.

I sat and noticed there wasn't a knife to cut into the meat. It looked like it was fried, but it wasn't the right shape to be chicken. I ate some potatoes while watching Bella use the side of her fork to cut off a piece of meat. Huh. I did the same and was in heaven at the taste.

"What is this called?" I asked quietly. I was slightly embarrassed not to know.

"It's called a cube steak. I breaded and fried them."

"It's fantastic," I assured her.

I became accustomed to Bella's routine by the end of the first week, and by the end of the second, I was up by the time she knocked on my door. She no longer had to show me what to do when it came to the daily tasks, but I realized there was always something new coming up on a ranch of that size. By the end of the third week, Bella had admitted she was thirty-two.

"So you are younger than my mom," I mused.

She laughed, and the sound trickled down my spine and tingled at the base. We were sitting on the front porch on a Sunday, the only day she sort of rested. "Good to know. It's the hard work and the sun that makes a person look older."

"Makes sense." We were sipping lemonade again, but I'd made it this time after she showed me how.

"I know you want to know; everyone does."

She didn't have to be specific, it was obvious she meant her marriage. "You don't have to tell me. I can tell you about me instead. I dated the same girl for two years before I realized she'd been cheating on me for half that time. I felt like an idiot."

Bella snorted, and it was hilarious. We both laughed at her reaction. "Who would be stupid enough to cheat on you?"

I smiled, feeling my cheeks heat. "I wanted to wait for marriage to be intimate. She convinced me to do plenty of things I wasn't comfortable with to keep her happy, so it made no sense to me." I stopped talking, no longer finding it funny.

Bella shifted in her spot next to me on the swing. We were sitting at opposite ends, so we weren't touching, but I could still feel her body heat. She sighed loudly. "I'm sorry."

"It was for the best, in the end. We weren't compatible." I took a drink. "Do you miss your husband?"

She choked on her drink, coughing as she tried to get the liquid out of her trachea. I thumped her on the back, unsure of what else to do.

She took a shuddering breath. "There's nothing to miss. I was finally free when he died, and I was… I was _happy_ that he was gone."

We sat quietly for several minutes. I remembered Emmett saying that nobody knew what kind of a man Mr. Swan had been. "Even though it's been hard to keep up around here?"

"Even so," she agreed.

"You never had children," I observed.

She swung us forward and back, not saying a word for the longest time. I watched the trees as the prairie winds picked up, blowing everything around. The windchimes banged around forcefully, and dust swirled up from the driveway.

"He used to love to make fun of me for being barren; said it was a product of my frigidity."

I didn't know what to say to that, so I pushed off with my foot, letting us swing some more. I couldn't believe she was really frigid; the man must have been a real asshole. Emmett said he was older, and mean. Suddenly, I wondered if he abused her. Bella was happy that he died, despite her current struggle. I looked over at her, watching the stray pieces of her hair blow around her face. Her long, thick braid was hanging over her shoulder, and I reached out to touch it, feeling bold.

I unwound the band that held the braid together, and started running my fingers through the ends, moving further up to unplait the entire thing. Her head tilted toward me, and I took that as a good sign. When I reached the back of her neck, I ran my hand over the loose curls before massaging the back of her skull. I turned my entire body to face her, pulling one knee up onto the seat. Bringing my other hand up, I stroked my thumb carefully over her jaw, while the other continued to move over her head.

Bella looked at me, and the expression on her face was heartbreaking. I dropped my hands and clasped them together in my lap, turning back to face forward again. She got up and went into the house, the screen door slapping loudly behind her. Sighing, I swung myself some more and decided to leave her be.

oOo

Dinner was silent, and I knew it was my fault. I wouldn't be surprised if she told me to leave and found someone else to help her out for the rest of the summer. I washed the dishes the same as always, and went upstairs to the smell of the coffeemaker chugging away.

The next morning, Bella informed me we needed to take a look at the whole property, which meant my ass was going up on a horse. Luckily, she had a friendly little female that took it easy on me.

I was impressed with the amount of land Bella actually owned. I had no idea her ranch was that large. She explained that they were originally croppers that sold corn and wheat, but Emmett had recently convinced her to take a few of his cattle. A 'few' amounted to fifty head, apparently.

"I have to make some money to hire staff, or I'll be forced to sell off some of my land. I don't know much about finances, but I know my husband screwed us over. He pissed off and offended every single person that tried to come work for him until nobody would answer his ads. He couldn't plant or harvest enough to cover our debts, so I've sold what I can to cover them. He thought he was equal to four men, but he wasn't. He was _worthless_."

I heard the tears in her voice, but pretended I didn't. We rode in silence, occasionally stopping as Bella wrote down something that needed to be done on the notepad she tucked in her shirt pocket. I assumed that the papers she went over all the time were bills or budgets. I couldn't understand her frustrations, not completely, but I could empathize.

"Look, I know I'm young, but I'm smart. I've taken business finance classes for years in preparation for going to work for my dad. I'll look over your expenses if you want, give a second opinion or whatever."

Bella seemed to contemplate my offer as she wrote something else down. We stared at the dead tree that had fallen over our path.

"Okay. Tonight after dinner."

Our ride took hours, and I was impressed by the time we were done. Corn, wheat, apples, pears, milk, and eggs, were all things she harvested and sold, without help. She made butter when she had time, but said it was for personal use because to make enough to sell would require equipment she couldn't afford. She had a vegetable garden, and I asked her if she could sell any of that as well.

"I've been known to make sauce from my tomatoes. I've canned apple butter and applesauce. I make apple fritters, apple donuts, and apple cider. I just don't have the time to focus on that right now. All the animals have to be fed and the heifers milked. I have to keep the horse stalls clean. Keeping the garden up reduces my grocery bill, so I do some gardening every day."

"You don't have time to yourself," I pointed out.

"I've never had time for myself." She was bitter, and I didn't blame her.

"I'm here to help," I reminded her. "Emmett said he's offered to help. He and I can fix things while you take time for yourself. Is he married?" She hummed. "His wife could help you can, or bake, or make butter, or whatever. Or she can help us while you soak in a tub."

"Thank you," she murmured.

"I haven't done anything yet."

"You care. That counts for more than you know."

She called Emmett when we got back to the house. He and his wife agreed to come over in three days while their children were in school.

"Okay, show me how to cook."

She scoffed. "It would take me longer to teach you than to just do it myself."

"Maybe, but I don't see any ramen or toaster pastries in your cupboard, so this is an area I can't help in unless you show me how."

"Fine," she sighed. "I'm making chicken and dumplings."

I stood nearby and watched every step. The magical biscuit dough was made and set aside to drop in as dumplings once the soup was almost ready.

"I might be able to do this," I marveled. She just laughed at me.

After we'd eaten and I cleared the dishes, Bella pulled out a leather bound ledger book and a calculator, along with several pencils. I pulled my chair next to hers as she brewed her ever-present pot of coffee. When she offered me some, I accepted, and we sat side by side.

It took a long time, and my eyes were bleary by the time I'd looked at everything. I sat back, using my thumb and forefinger to rub at my eyelids. "So, I see what he did. A bunch of cutbacks that affected the quality of the crops, robbing Peter to pay Paul. The house and the land are free and clear; I see you paid off a second mortgage, which was a good choice. You owe money on a combine, but you need it to harvest the crops; so that's in the necessity category. Your milking machine has two more payments, and again, it's a necessity. Your monthly utility bills are behind, especially electricity." Now I understood why the lights were off in the stables and why she only ran the air conditioner at night. "The sale of the steer made a big dent, even with Emmett's commission."

"I sold my truck about five months ago. It didn't go for much, but it paid off the mortgage. I begged him not to take out that loan, but he wouldn't listen. This was my dad's land originally, before he died and left me and Mama struggling to maintain it. Back then we had help, though."

"And everything changed once you got married?"

Bella threw her pencil down and slumped in her chair. She took a sip of her coffee before meeting my eyes. Hers were sad and dark. "I was seventeen when I got married. My husband was fifty."

I practically swallowed my tongue to avoid my response. I couldn't believe her mother did that to her.

"Mama was dying, and she was desperate to see me taken care of. More than that, if I'd been the sole heir, the place would have gone to the county and me to foster care. She didn't mean to saddle me with the meanest son of a bitch to ever live in Harper County."

I could tell she wasn't going to snap out of it this time; the memories engulfed her, and she broke down. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as she folded over, crying into her hands.

"He never had a kind word. Never showed affection. He yelled, he denigrated, he struck. He forced himself on me, and when he couldn't get off, he blamed it on me."

My hands turned into fists, but I still soothed them gently over her back. She sat up and turned into me, laying her head on my shoulder. I rested my arms on her back and held on.

After a few minutes, Bella picked her head up and looked into my eyes. She shifted her focus from my eyes to my lips, and I knew the second she'd decided to kiss me. I accepted the light touch of her soft lips to mine, inviting the more urgent movement of our mouths. My hands went to her hair—I had fantasies about that hair—and she clutched my shirt in her hands. I was so hot, I was afraid I was on fire. The tingling I'd been feeling in her presence exploded, and my whole body buzzed. Her tongue touched my lips, and I groaned as I opened my mouth.

Suddenly, Bella's eyes flew open and she sat up straight, leaning away from me. Her chest heaved, and she clutched a palm there, surely feeling how her heart raced. Her eyes widened, her cheeks reddened further, and she scraped her chair back right before she fled the kitchen. Her door closed with a loud click, and I found myself staring at that boundary, wishing I could knock it down.

oOo

Emmett and his wife arrived at eight in the morning. It was July by then, hot and windy as ever. I stood on the porch next to Bella with my hands in my pockets, but I might as well have been a mile away from her. Emmett parked his truck to the far side of the yard and got out before circling the hood to open the door for his wife. He took the basket she held in her hands, and she kissed his cheek in appreciation.

They approached, and Bella stiffened next to me. "Emmett, Rosalie, this is Mr. Cullen, the boy helping me out for the summer."

Fuck if that didn't sting.

"It's nice to meet you," the woman said, two blonde braids hanging over her shoulders. She looked to be Bella and Emmett's age. "Please call me Rose. And your first name is?"

"Edward." I glanced at Bella, who stared straight ahead. "I'm Edward."

"Good to see you again," Emmett said.

Rose took Bella into the house after fetching her basket back from her husband while Emmett and I got right down to business. I showed him the list Bella had made the day we toured the property.

"That's a lot, but I think we can manage it."

"Sounds good to me," I told him.

We spent the day hammering broken fence rails, cutting dead trees and low branches, and rewiring the electric fence in a damaged area. We staked tomatoes and peas, pulled potatoes from the ground, and harvested carrots, radishes, and cucumbers. Emmett spliced a few young apple tree saplings, explaining that all you'd get was crabapples if you didn't join the young trees together. The readiness of the combine was checked for the coming harvest, the tractor got a tune up and an oil change, and two of the horses were reshod. Rose came outside at lunchtime with sandwiches and sweet tea, but Bella remained inside.

"I convinced her to take a hot soak," Rose explained, followed by a little cheer that made us laugh.

That was a good thing, indeed. Bella wasn't known to do anything for herself, and I was glad Rose was able to convince her. That meant my plan wasn't completely going to waste, considering that now she seemed to be mad at me.

"I've stewed and canned apples and tomatoes. There weren't enough early apples to make anything else that Bella used to like making. We made red sauce and canned it, and cooked off half the peas and canned them. We made dinner, it's simmering, and I gave her some of my sourdough starter, so she has two of those loaves rising to be baked later. I told her we'd come back when it was time for the harvest; I know she hasn't participated in the community for a really long time, but it wasn't her fault."

Emmett nodded along at everything she said while I focused on my sandwich. I was happy that Bella was getting reacquainted with her old friends.

By the time Emmett and Rose left at three, we'd checked the silo for readiness, patched the roof of the shed, and made sure all the animals had fresh straw, water, and feed. The day was done, so I headed inside to see what had kept Bella hiding.

I went upstairs and showered off a day's work first, and changed into a t-shirt and soft athletic shorts before finding Bella in the kitchen staring out the back door. Her hair was loose, and it curled and waved in a thick waterfall down her back. She was dressed differently, too, wearing a faded orange sundress. As I got closer, I saw that her feet were bare, and her arms were folded tightly over her chest.

"Bella," I said softly.

She didn't even turn around. "Rose was wonderful today. She pampered me, which is something I haven't done since I was sixteen."

"That's great. You deserve it."

"We can't explore whatever this is between us, Edward. We just can't." Her voice was anguished, and I took a step closer.

"Why not?" I kept my voice gentle.

"For God's sake, you're only nineteen! I won't do to you what was done to me. I refuse." I could see the heavy rise and fall of her shoulders that told me she was breathing harshly.

"It's nowhere near the same. I have the choice you didn't. Don't take that choice away from me by deciding for me."

"You and I are complete opposites, Edward, even before you factor in the age difference. I can't offer you a thing."

"Yourself; your time." She scoffed. "I'm serious. Those are worth the most to me."

I set my hands on her tense shoulders and simply let them rest there. She didn't object, so I stood with her and looked out at the ranch she had given up everything to protect. I wondered if she'd ever felt a gentle touch, at least since she was a child, and I gently ran my hands over her back and down her hair. She sighed and leaned into me.

"Do you even know how strong you are, Bella?" I whispered. "Not just physically, either. You shouldn't have had to endure so much."

I stroked my hands up and down her arms again and again until she relaxed, then moved her hair off her neck to place little kisses there. She shivered and her backside moved against me. Taking that as a positive sign, I moved my mouth to her shoulder, opening it against her skin. I heard a small breath escape her, and I finally turned her to face me.

"I'm almost completely inexperienced in this, so you have to tell me what you like and what you don't."

Bella lifted her eyes to meet mine, and they were shimmering with unshed tears. "I have no idea. Sex was never nice for me."

"Oh, sweetheart," I crooned, holding her closely to me. "Please, please tell me at any time if you want to stop."

Bella nodded her head against my chest, and I held her for a very long time. Finally, she pulled away and took my hand, leading me to the short hallway behind the stairs. Her room was there, but I hadn't ever seen it, choosing to keep that part of her home for her alone. The late afternoon sun was slanting through her windows, shining on a clean but dated room done in mostly blue.

Bella spoke up shyly. "This was my parents' room. M-my husband wanted the room upstairs because it's bigger, but I like this one."

"I like it, too. It's almost hidden, like a secret."

We started slow, kissing tenderly, caressing faces, our hands in each other's hair. I took my shirt off and tossed it in the corner, watching as her eyes went wide. I ran my fingers over the exposed skin of her shoulders and clavicle, dipping close to the top of the fabric that covered her breasts. The sighing sound she made was reminiscent of a purr, and I knew she was enjoying what I was doing. I wanted to move slowly and prove that I would take care of her in all of this.

Bella moved closer to her bed, so I followed her, pulling her close to my body again and running my hands through her soft, glorious hair. I held her tightly to me, hugging her for comfort and receiving comfort in return.

Something must have snapped in her, because she pushed me away and reached for the hem of her dress. She whipped it over her head and stood in front of me in plain white undergarments. Somehow, they were incredibly sexy anyway. Her arms and legs were long and muscled, tan from the sun exposure. Her stomach was flat and delineated by the muscles that her hard work created. I tried not to just stare at her slender form, but I was pretty new to this whole experience. I blushed finally and looked back into the eyes the same color as the coffee with a splash of milk she always drank.

"Edward. I'm-I'm ready. I think. For you to take control."

"Oh." I laughed self-consciously. "Do you remember when I said I'd never done this?"

She nodded with a small, sad smile on her beautiful face. "I'm not good at anything other than lying still and keeping my mouth shut."

"Shit," I hissed, moving over to her and cradling her face in my hands. "We'll do it differently, I promise. We'll make it amazing, and it'll be just the two of us in this room. No ghosts of the past."

Bella nodded as tears welled up in her eyes. She mashed her mouth to mine, gentling after the first onslaught and kissing me in earnest. I opened my mouth on a breath, and felt her tongue pressing past my lips. We spent an inordinate amount of time exploring each other's mouths, and I finally moved to kiss her cheek, her ear, and her neck. She gasped and pressed against me, and I felt my straining erection grow harder.

She must have felt it, too, because she reached out and tentatively touched it with her fingertips. I moaned, because it felt so good, and she snatched her hand away, cheeks flaming.

" _Please_ , it felt good, Bella."

She reached back again, and the silky fabric of my shorts created friction as she stroked me back and forth. I reached for her bra and fumbled for the clasp, really not sure how to get hers off. She stopped touching me long enough to remove her bra for me, and I did my best not to stare at her modestly sized breasts. Instead, I held her bare chest to mine and enjoyed the way it felt to be skin on skin. I ran my hands down her back to cup her ass, and she was the one to moan.

"I'd like to move to the bed, Edward," she said, her voice sounding like she was asking permission.

"If that's what you want." I wanted her to know that she had equal say in this, that she was essentially in charge.

She sat on the edge of her mattress and swung her legs up to the quilt. I rounded the double bed and sat before lying back and rolling to face her. I wasn't sure what she wanted to do next.

"Can you touch me?" she asked.

I laughed, I couldn't help it. "I've been dying to!"

Finally, I looked at her chest, flushed with desire, and put my hands on her breasts. She arched into my touch and stuttered out a sigh. I played with her nipples as they grew harder and loved the way she moaned. Feeling bold, I dipped my head to press a kiss to her breast, and Bella writhed so much I was afraid she'd fall right off the bed. I snaked one arm around her to hold her to me, and used the other to play with one nipple while I used my mouth on the other one. She moaned, cried out, and panted my name, until I thought she was going to burst.

She wrenched away from me and sat up, her hair wild and sticking out everywhere, her eyes wide and gleaming, and her face and chest red. She reached for my shorts and started pushing them down past my waist. I had to help her pull them away from my dick before she could pull them off, and then she just stared.

Bella met my gaze. "I've no idea if you'll fit."

"I don't know anything about it either," I admitted. Surely, that's what was meant to happen, regardless? "If it hurts, I promise I'll stop. You just have to tell me."

She nodded and peeled her underwear down her legs, tossing them on top of my shorts. "Will you try?" she whispered.

I leaned over her and started touching her again, since she had really liked that. I noticed her hands were roaming now and I enjoyed the way she stroked my back and my ass as I laid propped half over her. My dick was pressed up against her leg because it had nowhere else to go without entering her yet. When my hands made their way down to the patch of hair between her legs, I searched around until I found that she was pretty wet. It never occurred to me to have lube—or condoms.

"Um, I just realized that I don't have a condom," I said sheepishly.

"Oh. I've been on the pill since I was 17, I just never told my husband. I didn't even think about not taking them anymore after… _after_."

"So you're still okay with this?" I verified, waving my hand between our lower halves.

"Yes, Edward."

I resumed my gentle stroking. This was the only part of sex I had any experience with, but neither of us knew what she liked. Her gasps and cries proved that I was doing something right, and I used that as my guide for touching her. She became more and more wet the longer I kissed her and stroked her skin, and finally I felt like we were both relaxed enough to try actually having sex.

Pushing up on my hands, I hovered over her for a second before leaning down and kissing her nose, earning a smile. Finally, I lined myself up to her entrance and then just froze.

"It's okay, Edward. I promise."

I pushed in just a tiny bit while I held my breath. I went in further, earning a little gasp from Bella. Slowly, half an inch at a time, I moved forward as Bella's body accepted my size. Her legs widened and finally wrapped around me.

"Jesus," I bit out. "I have never experienced _anything_ like this." My hand was nothing in comparison to Bella's heat.

"Me either, I promise you," she replied.

We watched each other's faces, apparently each afraid we'd hurt the other or do something wrong. When I didn't think I could go any further, I pulled back smoothly before pushing in again. I realized that her wetness was coating me and I didn't have to be so afraid of hurting her. I did it again, pulling out and pushing back into her warmth, and she moaned in approval. I shifted on my arms and changed the angle I was using. We both groaned at the change in sensations, so I sped up my movements. Bella's hands gripped my hips and urged me to move faster.

It didn't take more than a few strokes at that pace for me to lose it, and I let out more cuss words than I normally used in a month when that tightness hit me and I came inside her. I slowed and became still, trying not to place my weight on Bella. I kissed her thoroughly, embarrassed that she didn't appear to have had an orgasm, because I came too fast.

"That was better than anything I've ever done before, hands down." She huffed and puffed a little as she said the words.

"No, it wasn't," I grumbled, rolling off of her and laying on my back.

"I promise you, I have never done anything that fun."

"Okay." I didn't want to argue with her, but I wondered if she was patronizing me.

Then she was looming over me, her hair falling in my face. She laughed as she scooped it back over one shoulder out of the way. "You know I was young, right?" I nodded. "And he was not. Well, he was very rough the first time, and uncaring. He wanted a virgin, and he expected me to accept whatever he wanted without complaint. But the first few times, I fought and screamed." The tone was matter of fact despite the horror of what she described. "I had no idea that in the end, I would, in fact, end up acquiescing without a peep."

Bella traced patterns on my bare chest with her fingertips, and I watched her face to gauge her expression. "And the birth control? You said he didn't know."

"He wanted strapping boys to run the ranch for him. He was a slave driver, Edward, let me tell you. The men he hired weren't allowed breaks for any reason. Every few years we'd have someone collapse out there from lack of water or just sun exposure. He would fire them. Most quit after the first week. After a while, even the poorest men in the area would sooner starve than come to work for that man." She closed her eyes, and I heard her uneven breathing for a few seconds. "I would _not_ bring children into the world he had created. I got the prescription before we were married, even though I had to go two towns over, because that's what my mom told me to do. She suggested a few years alone would be ideal, but I kept renewing that prescription every time. I hid them in my box of tampons for fifteen years, can you imagine?" She dropped her head to my chest, and I kissed the top of it.

"You went through more than anyone should have to. You endured and you survived. You deserve to be pampered and to make all of your decisions on your own." I squeezed her, keeping her close as the sun changed directions outside the window.

"Would you like some dinner?" she finally asked.

"Not if you have to cook."

"I put away what Rose made, but we can reheat it. Let's get cleaned up first, though."

After a trip to the bathroom for each of us, we got dressed again and went to the kitchen. It was closing in on five o'clock, and my stomach started to rumble. Bella started a pot of coffee and tried to look in the fridge, but I couldn't keep my hands off of her. Kisses and touches and sighs interrupted our search for dinner, and we wound up making out in front of the sink for a really long time.

"Okay, okay. I'm hungry." She finally stopped me so she could actually scrounge up something to eat.

She heated up the pork roast and vegetables and a small loaf of bread. I discovered that she loved pickles and fancy olives, and she bought them all the time now. We talked about what we'd accomplished that day, and what other plans she had for the summer. The crops would be ready to harvest soon, and the tradition had always been for the surrounding farms to help each other out and switch off the farm they went to each day until all the crops were taken care of. Her husband had polarized the community and was stuck doing it all on his own for close to a decade.

Which meant no sleep for Bella for weeks as they worked together to retain their livelihood. Blisters, scratches, and bruises would riddle her body for all of August and September.

"The apples are almost ready, and I want to make everything I used to make. Rose promised to come back and help me pick them and set them up."

She was animated when she spoke, her face alive and her mouth mobile as she smiled and made little facial expressions. Her hands moved as she talked as though they were attached to her mouth. I stared, becoming more turned on the longer she spoke.

"What are you staring at, Edward?"

"What? Oh." I blushed; I could feel the heat. "You, I guess."

"Is that so?" she asked, getting up and coming closer.

"Yes, it is."

I grabbed her hips as she straddled my lap, and she ran her hands up under my shirt. There was no more talking after that.

oOo

Everything changed after that night. All of our time together was spent with little touches and stolen kisses. I moved my things into her room and we spent our nights curled up together. I felt like I was walking on water the first time I saw her lose herself to an orgasm _I'd_ given her. She was so sexy to me.

At the beginning of August, we were sitting on the porch waiting for the neighboring ranchers to come over and help with the harvest. We sat a respectful distance apart to ensure nobody would suspect how close we'd grown. Emmett's truck turned down the dirt driveway, and dust started swirling around the tires. A different truck turned in behind him, and I squinted to make out who it was. I didn't recognize anybody else, of course, but I was curious to see their faces.

Rose stepped out of the driver's side of the first truck, followed by a pretty brunette girl with curly hair and a blond boy with scraped knees. I watched the other truck as a woman got out. She was petite with black hair, and she was obviously pregnant. She helped a little girl get out of the car seat behind her. She was probably about two, and she had the darkest hair I'd ever seen on a person. Two huge green machines made their way behind the vehicles, one driven by Emmett and the other by a man in a large cowboy hat. They continued all the way to the golden fields to the left of the house, past the cattle.

"That's Jasper in the Stetson, and his wife Alice there, and their daughter Penelope. Rose and Emmett's kids are Sara and Jason."

"Okay. Thanks."

A long van came down the street and turned into the yard. I looked at Bella, and she was smiling. "That's Mike and Jessica. He runs the grocery store. Wait until you see their kids."

As instructed, I waited for them to pull all the way up and park before people started exiting. Two adults, check. One child, two, three, four, _five, six_? And then the woman turned, and she was about to give birth any second. Bella laughed quietly behind me.

"They're a really happy family," she snickered.

"And Catholic, by the looks of it."

Every person in attendance wound up coming up to the porch, all fifteen of them, and the kids began climbing on the railings and piling on the swing. Bella greeted each person warmly, listening to the stories the children told her about boo-boos and mean kids at school and the frogs they'd caught but weren't allowed to put in their sister's bed. She was a new person in my eyes, and I felt like the others had to notice it, as well.

Alice and Jessica were going to stay with the children, and they'd brought toys and snacks and so many other things, and Rose and Bella headed out to the equipment barn with the four of us men trailing along. I only knew a few basics to the steps, but I figured I'd be riding with someone and it wouldn't matter. I was good at following directions, that was for sure, and not afraid of hard work.

Bella only had one combine, hence Emmett and Jasper bringing theirs. Mike would use Jasper's pickup truck to transport the separated grain to the silo and the storage shed. It looked like I was going to be helping him.

It was an all day affair, between the harvesting, separating, storing, and drying. Some grain went to storage to be sold, and some went to the silo to be used to feed Bella's animals in the winter months. It was another lesson in farming and agriculture that I'd never given consideration to in the past. Watching the grain elevator take the wheat fodder to the opening in the top of the silo, the dust it created in the air, and the dust sticking to the sweat on everyone's bodies, was an experience I'd never forget.

We broke for lunch, and Alice and Jessica had prepared a platter of sandwiches and tea and lemonade. I wasn't even surprised when the ladies ate two sandwiches each. It was hard, hot work, and it worked up an appetite for us all.

At the end of the day, we all spent some time indoors cleaning up before settling in the living room floor with the children. The ladies had spent the day making supper to be ready to serve, so we each took a bowl of chili and sat wherever we could; some of us on the couch, some on the chairs, and the rest on the floor. It was a modest sized room furnished in antiques that weren't exactly comfortable, but we made it work.

The conversation flowed easily between the neighbors; it seemed that they got together pretty often. Bella was very quiet, and I knew it was because she was used to isolation.

"Are we going to see you on Sundays, Bella?" Jess finally asked.

"I suppose so, if you want me to come," she answered, blushing and looking down.

"Oh, honey, we've always wanted you to come, you know that wasn't the problem."

Mike tried to shut his wife up, but she had a pretty big mouth. "No, Mike, we all know about the elephant in the room. Why shouldn't I tell her that we always wanted to get to know her away from that overbearing husband of hers but never got the chance."

"Um, I'd rather not talk about him," Bella said, her voice pained.

"Sorry, but know that you have a standing invitation for Sunday lunch. That's all I'll say for now."

"Thank God," I heard Mike mutter.

We were interrupted by one of their children anyway, so the atmosphere shifted to the silliness of kids playing around and looking for attention. Emmett got on the floor to race around the cars his son had brought, and a few of the Stanley's children joined him. Alice volunteered to clean the kitchen, but I said I would go with her. She had been busy all day, too.

I washed while she dried, and we put everything away together. I wiped down the stove and the counters as she watched me, and the back of my neck prickled the longer she stared.

"What?" I finally said as I turned to face her.

"You've been good for her," she stated.

"I think not having her husband here has been good for her," I countered.

"You've lightened her load significantly," she argued.

"That's what I was hired to do," I pointed out, suddenly panicked that she could see right through me.

"Except you're here for free. When do you have to go back?" Her eyes were intense.

"At the end of the month." Something that caused a pang in my heart every time I thought about it.

"And what will you do when you go back to the city?" she asked, leaning a hip onto the counter.

"I'm supposed to become a paid intern at my family's company, and start college classes." I shifted my feet, nervous under her scrutiny.

"What do they do?"

"Run a graphics business."

She wrinkled her nose. "What's that?"

"They create pictures you see in ads, or on billboards. Cereal boxes, soup cans, diapers, you name it."

"Is that something you want to do?" She tilted her head as she studied me.

Did I? I always thought I did. "No," I admitted quietly.

"I had a feeling you'd say that."

"I have to go, though. I have my ten year plan laid out for me. What else would I do with my life?" I felt irrationally angry at this woman prying into my life.

"Build a new life. A new ten year plan. Be your own man."

I felt frustrated, tired, angry. I looked up to say something that I probably would have regretted, but Alice had left the kitchen. I was alone, and for a second, I truly felt alone. What the hell had I done?

"Edward? Do you want to say goodbye?" I heard Alice call.

Of course I did, so I went to the front of the house and said goodbye to all fifteen people. When the door closed behind the last of them, and it was just the dog and Bella and me, it was entirely too quiet.

"I'm completely beat," she admitted.

"Me, too."

"Let's get some sleep."

"Yeah."

We both pretended there wasn't a huge weight settled on our shoulders.

oOo

With the money Bella made during the month of August, she was able to pay off all of the debt her deceased husband had accrued. She began to save money to pay a ranch hand when I had to leave at the end of the summer.

It was something we didn't speak about; the elephant in the room, as Jess had said. I had to leave soon, but I had already learned that I would be leaving my heart on the Oklahoma prairie. Bella clung to me, and I to her, in the stillness of the black nights. We had discovered every inch of each other's bodies, our likes and dislikes. I knew what made her eyes roll back in her head and exactly where to touch her to make her scream my name. Bella had learned the art of oral sex, and used it constantly.

I never complained.

We were in the horse barn early one morning in the middle of the week. We'd only been outside for a handful of minutes, observing a pregnant mare; the one I'd ridden around the property. We'd moved her to a bigger stall with extra straw, and she was a happy sort of horse anyway. We were facing the huge double doors when Bella suddenly stepped in front of me and started unfastening my pants.

"Bella, what—holy shit," I hissed. She'd knelt and pulled my cock free, her strokes hardening it quickly. Now her mouth descended on the length, and I leaned back against the stall door for support.

She licked, sucked, and swirled her tongue. I kept my hands clenched on the door behind me, unwilling to make her feel forced if I should grab her head. There was nothing but the sound of my moans and soft whinnying from the horses around us as she worked me over.

"Oh, God, Bella, I'm gonna come. You'd better—" She only sucked harder, ignoring my warning as I exploded in her hot mouth. I kept my eyes tightly closed as I came down from the high.

When I reopened them, she had fixed my pants and stood so that there was no evidence of what she'd just done. Well, except for the flush on her chest and neck.

"I hadn't yet given you a proper good morning," she giggled with a wink.

She looked so young, so carefree and happy. "And quite a greeting it was, Miss Bella."

"Happy to oblige, especially after that thing you did last night. Good God, I didn't know it was possible to feel that way. Like I was burning from the inside out, and then everything coalesced." Bella sighed, a dreamy look on her face.

I grinned. "Maybe I'll do it again tonight, then."

She laughed. "Oh, really? Maybe—"

"Hello!" someone called from outside the barn.

Bella moved several feet away from me, running a hand over her braid and brushing off the knees of her pants. I turned, checking that my pants were properly zipped and buttoned.

"In here, Michael!" Bella called.

I faced the door as he came around the corner, his face red from the sun and his hat in his hands. His sweaty hair was stuck flat to his head. "Miss Bella. Edward." He nodded at the both of us in turn.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, Jess wanted me to come by and ask if you have any of that apple butter yet this season. Said she'd be willin' to pay ya for it."

"Oh. Well, I made some last week, but I've yet to take the time to do a big batch. Why don't you take her what I have, but no charge." She smiled warmly at him.

He slapped his hat on his thigh as he seemed to think through his next words. "Well, you see, Jess isn't happy with the brand I stock in the store. Says yours is better. So I kinda want to come ever so often to buy some from ya."

Bella blushed. "Oh."

I wandered off to let them discuss their transaction. Bella was fitting into the community now that she was out from under the thumb of oppression. She was flourishing before my eyes, and I couldn't be happier for her. The ranch had prospered this summer, and she was going to be alright. More than that, she was going to thrive.

And there was that voice in my head again, asking me what I was going to do at the end of the summer. I was due to leave in two weeks, to go back to Seattle and work in a high rise glass building. I was going to start at the bottom in the mail room, but eventually I would move up. I had always wanted to be the CFO, it's what I'd been groomed for since I turned thirteen. My family was relying on me to learn from the ground up, to eventually take over for my father when he retired. I pretty much had a ten year plan laid out for me, pushed on me, and I had always simply gone with the flow. Now there were doubts in my head about how boring it would be. I had new wants, new dreams, but couldn't execute them.

"Well, that was interesting," Bella said, interrupting my thoughts as she came to where I was standing.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella. You're making friends and creating new sources of income. You'll be able to hire someone soon." I brushed a loose strand of hair from her face. "You never have to be alone again."

She looked at me, stared at my face and searched my eyes. Finally, she rested her head on my chest and pulled me close for a hug. Neither of us spoke again until several minutes later when we separated to go about our chores.

The desperate need to be buried inside Bella all night intensified with every passing day. The clock was ticking, we were hyper aware of it, but didn't talk about it. I was afraid it would make it too real if I said it out loud.

We were drinking coffee on the porch swing one night, wrapped up in each other and staring up at the sky when the emotions overwhelmed me. I wouldn't burden her with my issues, and force her to make an offer she might not want. She had said herself I was too young for her. She didn't need that sordid scandal on top of what she'd already been through. She would take some time to herself and then find a suitable farmer her own age. She wasn't too old for children, so she even had that opportunity if she chose.

The thought of her having a future without me broke me. I kept my tears silent, holding her close to me, and pictured myself a bachelor for the rest of my life. There wasn't a chance in hell my parents would understand why their only son wanted to marry a woman that was so much older and run a ranch with her. It was out of the question.

Our time during the day was devoted to the property, as always. Our nights, though, were spent tangled together in Bella's narrow bed. She'd turned the air conditioner back on since she'd been making money, which was a small blessing. The sheets were cool on my back as I slid underneath them, down Bella's body. She arched off the mattress, moaning in anticipation of what was to come. My tongue roamed her belly, her inner thigh, and finally her clit. It was her favorite thing for me to do, and there was nothing I wanted more than to make her happy. Sucking her clit between my lips drove her mad, and she gripped my hair as she bucked against my face. I used two fingers on her and looked up, watching her come undone. Her face was flushed, her mouth open slightly. Her breathing was fast and her chest rose and fell with each breath. Her nipples were hard, and they were my next destination, but first, I swirled my tongue until she choked out several curse words. Her legs stiffened and her pelvis stayed pressed into the air as she tensed.

Immediately I moved up, my hands touching, teasing, pinching and rolling her nipples while she huffed sounds of pleasure.

"Edward, I _need_ you," she moaned.

"I'm here, Bella." I pushed inside her, my own breathing labored. Pressing in slowly and savoring the sensation of her wet warmth before pistoning my hips and slamming into her over and over. Gone was the shy, uncertain widow, and in her place was a sensual young woman that enjoyed sex. At least, with me, she did.

It never took me long to become overwhelmed, and I stopped being embarrassed when she told me that she didn't care. I spent so much time on her before I ever got mine, that she wasn't bothered by it in the least.

I rolled off of her, flopping on my back to catch my breath before getting up and cleaning up in her bathroom. She came in behind me and kissed my shoulder as I walked back out. We had an easy intimacy now, and I found that to be the most important thing. I'd never felt so connected to one person in my life.

We climbed back in bed together and slept close, one part of ourselves constantly touching the other person.

oOo

Time was slipping away from us. I only had one week left. Bella had stopped doing her chores in order to be close to me, and that wasn't productive. I insisted on doing the most important chores together, and the rest could wait. She had interviews lined up for the day after I left; I was grateful that I didn't have to see the group of men vying to become my replacement.

Time went by in lurches and bumps. Mornings were quick paced, while afternoons dragged. The need to be near each other meant nothing was being accomplished. I couldn't stand the thought of being anywhere else, though, so we talked. We talked about my childhood, what it was like as an only child of a wealthy businessman and the expectations placed on me. We talked about high school and whether I was a jock or a nerd. She shied away from talking about her life again, and I was pretty sure I knew everything by then anyway.

On the last day, we fed the chickens, gathered their eggs, milked the cows and talked about her buying an electric butter churn. We cleaned the horse stalls and fed them, checking in on the mare several times. Water troughs were cleaned and refilled from the hose, and then finally we went inside to make lunch.

I'd learned a few things, and I made lunch most days. It was typically hamburgers or cube steaks, something filling that didn't require too much skill. And some days it was just leftovers from the night before. Bella often started dinner while I was putting lunch together, stew or chili that simmered in the cast iron pot while we were finishing up the day's work.

We ate in silence, drinking the lemonade that I was in charge of now. I wondered who would make it when I was gone, her, or the person she ended up hiring. After we cleaned up, we sat in the living room together for the last time.

"Nobody has ever been as kind to me, as respectful to me, as you are. Not since my mother, has anyone cared about my feelings. You lightened my load around here, but it was so much more than that. It's a level of caring that I'm not used to, and I want to say thank you." Her words were quiet.

"All I did was listen to you. What you said, and what you were afraid to say. I care because I'm compassionate. I was taught to pull my own weight, and you were doing the work of three people. I didn't want you to serve me on top of that. I'm really proud of you and what you've accomplished."

She buried her face in my neck and I felt tears run down my skin and soak my shirt. "You have to leave soon," she said needlessly.

"Yes."

She sighed, but said no more.

I pulled her into my lap and kissed her softly. She pulled at my shirt, and I obliged by taking it off. Her shirt followed, and then we stood to remove our pants. She pushed me back onto the couch and sank down on my lap. My breath stuttered out of my chest at the realization that this would be our last time. She moved slowly, kissing me and looking directly into my eyes the entire time. I saw the tears streaming from the corners of her deep mocha eyes, and I kissed them away. Bella pressed her chest tightly to mine as she shook and her legs tensed. It took a few more pushes before I came in silence.

I took the time to shower and dress before the cab came. Bella and I held each other on the porch until it pulled down the drive, kicking up dust that swirled around the red flowers recently planted along the path. I picked up my bag and walked down the porch steps without looking back. We'd said our goodbyes and there was nothing left for us.

oOo

By October, I had finished my stint in the mail room. It was clear to everyone that I was bored and overqualified. I was moved into the position of junior assistant to one of the associates, and I did that job with no complaints as well. I never complained; as a matter of fact, I never joked or laughed with my colleagues, either. I didn't go out for drinks with the other assistants, and I didn't go to my parents' house for dinner. I even insisted on putting off the Fall semester at UW. My body may have been in Seattle, and my brain, if I'm being honest. I had to do my job, after all. But my heart and my soul were on a ranch in Oklahoma. They belonged to the woman that ran it, to the apple orchards, to the pregnant mare, to the tall grass and high winds. The buildings here crowded out the sky, the amount of people made me claustrophobic. There was too much smog, too much constant noise.

The finance director droned on and on. I was supposed to be taking notes for my boss, but I couldn't focus. All I saw was long brown hair that waved around creamy shoulders. I saw quiet strength and intelligence in dark eyes. I thought of how the city had made my muscles soft the way they used to be, before ranching life had toughened me up. I could still feel a callus on my palm if I rubbed it with my thumb. I missed the satisfaction of a hard day's work at the end of the night, and coffee on the porch.

I missed looking out to the endless pastures, orchards, and fields. Fifteen hundred acres was vast, especially when compared to a one bedroom apartment with a view of an empty rooftop. Fifteen hundred acres was what I'd given up. That, and the love of a beautiful, strong woman.

"Fifteen hundred fucking acres," I muttered.

Apparently I'd been too loud, because everybody in the conference room turned to stare at me. I stared back for a minute.

"I can't do this anymore." I stood and strode from the room, my decision made.

oOo

I was feeding the dog his dinner when I heard a car come down the road. The hedgerows hid what was coming, and the sun was still bright as it set, causing me to shade my eyes with my hand. My new ranch hand, Seth, came to stand near me as the car turned down my driveway.

"Were you expectin' anybody, Miss Bella?" he asked.

"No," I said quietly, too afraid to hope.

We stood still as the dust kicked up and obscured the driver, but I finally saw that it was a yellow cab. My heartrate picked up speed and my breathing accelerated. I blindly thrust out a hand and grabbed the nearest porch rail.

"No," I breathed, this time in disbelief.

I was still standing there when he stepped out of the taxi and handed the driver a wad of cash. He walked toward the porch with his bag thrown over his shoulder, and my hand covered my mouth as the tears poured down my face. His red hair was blowing in the wind, just a tad too long on the top. His lean body was clad in jeans and a shirt that hugged his muscles. He was coming closer to the house, closer to _me_ , and I knew with sudden clarity that he had chosen me.

I rushed down the steps and slammed into him before he took another step, and he dropped his bag to wrap his arms around me as he lifted me off the ground and laughed as he spun.

"Oh, Edward. You came back!"

"I came back. I came back for you, and for the ranch." He stopped spinning and kissed me. "I love you, Bella, and I hope you love me, too."

"I love you so much," I admitted in a choked voice. "I've been dying without you."

"I know the feeling," he murmured, kissing me again. He looked up. "Is that the new hand?" He lifted his chin toward Seth.

"Yes. He has a wife and two kids that live in town. His name is Seth, and he's the only thing that's kept me sane these past two months."

"I'm glad you got a good one," he admitted, smiling as he looked into my eyes.

"Oh, you have no idea how much I missed you." I buried my face in his neck, my favorite place to be, and I finally felt calm.

He replied, "I found my home in the last place I expected; on fifteen hundred acres in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma. With you."

* * *

 **I do have plans for expansion, starting with BPOV. I've had writer's block like crazy for a month, but I'm working on it.**


	2. Chapter 2

**With the continuation, I hope to give some insight into why Bella was so gruff with Edward.**

* * *

 **BPOV**

I had to stop and sit down; I was working myself to death, and I knew it. I sat on the bench outside the chicken coop and used my bandana to wipe my sweaty face. My old hound, Rusty, plopped his butt next to me, leaning in to my hand as I scratched his ear. It had been months since my bastard husband had been put in the ground, and I had lost fifteen pounds from all the extra work I was having to put in. I needed a solution, and I needed it quick.

I'd heard on the radio that the university was doing a student exchange of sorts. Young adults were signing up for volunteer hours through universities across the country to get a new perspective and have new experiences before buckling down for four plus years of studying. This seemed like exactly what I needed, assuming they could find the right type of person.

"Yes, I need someone that's strong enough to complete ranch work for me. If he's a weakling, he's going to be no good to me. Yes, the whole summer. I'll provide room and board, they just need to work the land with me in return. Thank you."

It was set. I'd called them and requested a ranch hand for the summer. I just hoped I could get a strapping young man that would help me without fooling around or being lazy. I was at my wit's end, and if I didn't get the right type of person, I didn't know what I'd do.

I didn't have time to stop and wait around for one Edward Cullen that was due to arrive at any time, depending on how fast the taxi drove him out here from the airport. I was in the horse barn mucking stalls when I heard him call out for me. I stopped what I was doing and leaned one arm on the handle of the shovel, squinting in the direction of his voice. I couldn't really see him in the dark of the barn, but I knew he was tall.

"You the boy they sent to help me?" I asked as I wiped the sweat off my face with my bandana. I felt like that was all I did these days.

"Um, yes, ma'am," he answered in a deep baritone. At least he was polite.

"You'd better be strong, I swear to God. I need someone that can work hard, not cry over manual labor," I muttered. It would be just my luck that they'd sent a wuss that would cry over a blister. I had blisters on top of my blisters.

"What can I do?" Good, he was willing to jump right in.

"There's fresh straw down at the end, there." I pointed over my shoulder. "Add that in an inch high layer to the stalls down the way that I've already mucked."

I went back to what I was doing, hoping he'd follow instructions and leave me be. I was uncomfortable around strangers, especially men. My skin crawled with the uncertainties of it all.

Not much time had passed before he was talking to me again. "What do we do after we've finished this?"

I sighed. Figures he's a talker. I decided to just give him a drink and maybe motivate him to work and not run his mouth.

"You need to preserve your energy by _not_ talking, and stay hydrated," I said as I handed him some of my homemade lemonade.

At least he was polite enough to thank me. His mama raised him right, which eased my worries a little. We went back to working in the stalls, which took the rest of the afternoon. I was a little embarrassed that I couldn't even afford to turn on the lights in the barn. I normally didn't run the air conditioner in the house either, but I would turn it on when I went in to finish dinner.

"Late enough chickens need feedin'," I told him later when I saw him wandering around in the yard. I pulled out the feed and cut into the bag, throwing a handful of feed in demonstration before I headed into the house. The first thing I did was set the thermostat, followed by washing thoroughly.

I really had to get dinner on the table. I hadn't stirred the beef stew in awhile, and it might need more water to thin it out. Plus the biscuits had to be baked off now they'd risen for a few hours. I heard the front door open and close, and felt the back of my neck tingling as he stood silently behind me. I turned with a sharp retort on my tongue, only to have the words die before I could speak them.

Holy shit, he was hot. Tall and lanky, dark red hair all windblown, and a blush on his cheeks as he dropped his gaze to my feet.

"The chickens are fed, ma'am, and I put the feed away in the cabinet," he mumbled.

"Thanks," I choked out before turning back to the stove so he couldn't see my hands tremble. Dear God, I hadn't thought far enough ahead to what the man might look like. I could have ended up with a cocky asshole, so it looked like my luck was improving.

I heard him moving around behind me, the water running and the cutlery clinking together as he apparently set the table. When I moved over with the biscuits, he actually moaned. That did dangerous things in my belly, things I don't remember ever having the pleasure of feeling.

I grabbed the cast iron dutch oven with hot pads and lugged it to the table. "Hope you like stew." I really didn't know what else to say that wouldn't sound stupid. I'd spent so many years keeping my mouth shut for fear of retaliation that I was out of practice at small talk.

I was pretty astonished that he served me first, and I ended up staring at his mouth as he bit into a biscuit. He moaned again and I grew unreasonably hot. I was so flustered that I snapped at him when he looked up at me.

"You done staring? Plenty left to do round here if you've nothin' better to occupy your mind than staring."

"I apologize, ma'am, it's just that they told me I was coming to help a widow…"

Of course, he'd expected me to be an old woman. Still, he was making me uncomfortable.

"And only old people die, that it?" I snapped. God, I was going to make myself miserable if I second guessed every move he made.

"Ah, no. I meant no disrespect." He dropped his gaze to his plate and ate silently.

I looked down at my own plate and did my best to ignore him.

I was pretty sure I was screwed.

I was so impressed that he started on the dishes without being asked to help. I'm pretty sure he'd never done them without the benefit of an electric dishwasher, but he did a satisfactory job. I cleaned the stove and greased the pot before leaving it sitting out. I started the coffee pot and pulled out my ledgers, dreading the time I had to spend going over the figures.

"Can I help?" I heard him ask quietly from beside me.

I looked up, and I swear he knocked the breath out of me. He was so young, though, and I had every reason to avoid him. He was so polite, and he had offered to help me more times than I could count; certainly more times than I had expected. He really would make the summer much easier on me, if I could relax and let him do what I'd hired him for.

Finally, I realized I had been staring at him while he was expecting an answer. I pushed my chair back and stood. "I've a room ready for you upstairs."

I walked away and took the stairs briskly, knowing he would follow. I had spent the afternoon yesterday putting the room in order for him. The sheets were old as the hills but clean, the surfaces dusted, and I'd found a bar of soap under the sink that I'd placed in the shower across the hall. My house was old, but it held many memories; some good, some horrific, but all of them mine.

"There's clean sheets, and the bathroom's there." I indicated with a chin nod to the door across the hall. "Towels in the closet, soap in the shower."

I fled down the stairs and spent a few minutes on the books while I heard the shower turn on upstairs. I tried not to picture the water running down his hard abs, something I hadn't even seen but was imagining entirely too vividly. When the water shut off with a squeak, I rushed to the front of the house to lock the front door and turn off the lamp in the living room.

Rusty came with me into my bedroom, settling by the door I closed and locked. I didn't think I needed to worry about keeping him out, but if felt comforting just the same. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to sleep after the excitement of the day, but I was exhausted as usual. I fell into a dream-filled sleep, where I saw red hair and sharp green eyes.

* * *

 **From here on, I want to give credit to nkubie and starsmina, as well as the ladies that looked at the first chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

I was up the next morning at five, as usual. I slipped on my shoes and headed out into the dark to get the animals fed. Rusty followed along as I added oats to the horses' feeding troughs. Soon the wheat would be ready to harvest and I could feed the animals the separated chaff, but for now they would eat the feed I bought them. The chickens came next; I fed them before collecting their eggs to make sure they were happy by the time I got back to them. I didn't feed the cattle anything special, since they were strictly pasture animals, but I did make sure they had fresh water. I'd contemplated getting pigs for various reasons, but I couldn't afford the time and trouble yet, much less the cost to bring them on the farm.

As I reached the house again, I picked Rusty's bowls up off the porch and brought them inside with me. They got a good cleaning in the sink before I filled them and set them by the back door. Old Rusty moved slowly to get his breakfast. Sometimes I thought I should feed him first, but he wouldn't eat, just follow me outside and around the property.

I set the cast iron skillet on the stove and turned on the eye while I changed clothes in my bedroom. I got the bacon out of the fridge and laid several pieces in the hot pan before washing my hands and braiding my hair. The coffee maker came next, and as it brewed I scooped the bacon onto a paper towel covered plate and cracked eggs into the hot bacon grease. I set the table before popping bread into the toaster, suddenly wondering if the boy was ever going to wake up. It was six by that time.

I wound up plating breakfast for the both of us and covering them before taking the stairs slowly. My muscles were stiff, and my back was killing me. I felt older by two decades. There was no light shining from under the door, and I considered just going in, but I was suddenly horrified at the thought that maybe he slept naked, so I knocked instead.

He opened the door, all scruffy face and messy hair, sleepy eyes and a yawn. He was wearing a tank top and shorts, and I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat. Jesus, he was young and so very attractive.

"Gonna sleep all day?" I barked much more gruffly than I'd intended.

I dashed down the hall almost immediately, but not without hearing his muttered reply.

"No, just until the sun comes up."

"Heard that!" I called on my way down the stairs.

It was actually funny, but I wouldn't tell him that. I sat at the table and started in on my breakfast. Time was not a luxury in my world, and I couldn't afford to wait for him. I looked over the budget again as I ate, and didn't look up as the boy came into the kitchen and joined me. I got up and refilled my coffee instead of fighting the urge to stare at his face.

"What's first for today, Mrs. Swan?" he asked me as I sat down.

I flinched at that name. It brought up bad memories, and I hurried to remedy that. "You'll call me Bella. I don't want to be known as Mrs. Swan _ever_ again, if you don't mind," I said as I set my mug down with a snap. I studied the widening of his emerald green eyes as I spoke, the way his forehead wrinkled as his brows raised.

"My name is Edward," he responded.

"I know." I folded and unfolded my napkin, nervous at spending the first whole day with this handsome stranger. The university had given me his name before he flew out, but it felt odd to use it.

"Okay."

I took a deep breath to reboot. "I've fed the animals and milked the heifers. I need to fix a fence railing at the back of the property, collect eggs, muck the stalls again, and ready the steers for the auction tomorrow."

He looked shocked. "How long have you been up?"

"An hour," I answered, though by then it was probably more like an hour and a half.

We finished our breakfast in silence, and I was pleased when he cleaned up after himself. I stood outside on the back porch while he finished up whatever he was doing. The air was already stifling, though there was a steady breeze that I'd grown used to in my lifetime. It could steal your breath if you weren't prepared for it.

When the door behind me slapped closed, I moved off the porch and into the yard. He followed like I knew he would, and I stopped at the shed to get my wheelbarrow and the supplies to fix the fence rail. We walked a little ways until we reached the spot where the wood had rotted and fallen.

"I need you to pull the rest of the rotten wood out of the post holes so I can replace it."

I didn't think I needed to explain further, but as I readied the new piece of wood I'd previously cut to size, I realized he was standing there staring at the fence instead of doing anything with it.

"Just pull on what's left. It's not bolted in, so it'll pop right out. The real work comes with getting a new one in."

He pulled on each piece until they fell out of the holes. He threw those in the wheelbarrow and dusted his hands off on his pants. I picked up the mallet and knocked at the post on the left until it leaned forward.

"Slip that piece into the hole and hold it there for me," I instructed, nodding at the post to the right.

He listened well, doing exactly as I asked. I used the mallet to knock the opposite post back into position, making sure my end of the cross rail fit into the hole before kicking at the post a little to ensure it was properly upright. I kneeled and compacted the earth around the bottom to help keep the post from being wobbly.

We moved on to the steer after that, and I snorted back a laugh as Edward shied away from the first one when it turned its head in his direction. I just wanted to make sure none of them were bloated or had bad hooves before we sold them at auction the next day. Rather, my friend and neighbor Emmett McCarty was taking them to auction for me. I didn't have the vehicle to transport them, much less the time away from the ranch. He had been generous enough to give me fifty head of his own steers, and in return he'd merely earn a commission for selling them. I knew I wanted to pay him back someday, but I wasn't sure how or when it would happen.

We had to collect the eggs next, which I didn't realize was such a hard task. Of course, Edward was new at all of this, so I had patience with him. I laughed thoroughly each time he was pecked on the back of the hand; I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help myself. In the end, he was covered with marks from their sharp little beaks, and I had to tend to them. I led him into the house and got out the first aid kit, trying desperately to slow my racing heart at the feel of his skin.

I moved with efficiency, not wanting to give him any ideas as I touched him. When he was so bandaged that he looked like he'd suffered through worse than a couple chicken pecks, I offered to get him a pair of gloves and fled his proximity.

Once I'd calmed down, I prepared lunch for us and set up a pot for dinner. We ate silently, nothing but the sound of Rusty's snoring throughout the house. Every move and noise made me nervous; I was as jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Who could blame me, really, but it was setting me back on my work and my mental health.

I was used to harsh punishments from a husband that despised me if I so much as spoke out of turn, so it was no surprise that I was jittery around a strange man. I had spent six months alone after Swan's death, and it had been amazing to do what I wanted, when I wanted, except for the fact that I still had to be up before the sun. Simply going to bed without being yelled at or struck was a miracle in and of itself.

The afternoon was long and hard, which was typical, though I moved a little slower with a newbie at my side. It was a satisfying day nonetheless, knowing that I would have help for the rest of the summer. It was a weight off my shoulders, and I found myself feeling extra grateful.

* * *

 **I have so much empathy for Bella.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Bella is less and less able to resist her young Cityward. I can't blame her.**

* * *

My agitation at having the strange man in my house only seemed to grow as time went on. Rather than grow accustomed to his presence, he set me on edge. He was polite, helped out without being asked, and was up at the same time as me after the first week. He was perfect, and that was the crux of the problem.

He had me flustered and confused. Did I mistake basic niceties for flirtations? Was I longing for human interaction so desperately that I would accept affections from a man that was barely older than a child? I refused to get close enough to even bump into him; that's how scared I was to get involved in anything beyond an employer/employee relationship.

"Here, add this sugar to the hot water." I was showing him how I made lemonade after he'd asked me a handful of times. I was standing several feet away from him.

"Okay, now what?"

I stared at his profile as he stirred; the high cheekbones and cutting jaw. He had a bit of hair on his face sometimes when he didn't bother to shave. It made him look older.

"Bella?"

"Hmm?" I blinked and looked up into his eyes.

They were filled with amusement. "I asked what the next step is."

"Oh!" God, I was acting like an idiot. "Once the sugar dissolves, take it off the stove. Add the lemon juice and the ice to the pitcher, then fill it with water to just shy of the top."

I let him follow those steps before moving on. "Now add the simple syrup and stir everything together with that long-handled spoon."

I watched the muscles of his forearm as he stirred, and had to step further back and fan my face with my hand. I rolled my eyes at my own stupidity.

"Can we sit on the porch with it?"

Like I would tell him no. I made a point of only caring for the animals on Sunday and spending the rest of the day trying to take it easy. I was so used to moving all the time that it usually didn't work and I'd find myself gardening or picking fruit or catching up on laundry.

We sat and I pressed my thigh tightly to my side of the swing. He pushed off and we went back and forth for a few minutes in silence.

"How old are you?" he asked me finally.

I tried not to sigh. "Thirty-two."

"So you are younger than my mom."

I laughed so hard I almost wet myself. It was ludicrous to think I was having the kinds of thoughts I was having over someone that was technically young enough to be my son. I had to wipe my eyes when I caught my breath, and then I noticed that he was staring at me.

"Good to know. It's the hard work and the sun that makes a person look older." And I was vain enough to cover up with a hat and a bandana when I could, and gloves.

"Makes sense."

We were quiet again for some time, swinging slowly back and forth as the prairie winds whipped up, making my windchimes bang noisily. I'd thought long and hard about it, and I figured I should tell him about my husband.

"I know you want to know; everyone does." My heart rate picked up painfully at the thought of bringing up the past. It was finally buried and I wanted it to be forgotten.

"You don't have to tell me. I can tell you about me instead. I dated the same girl for two years before I realized she'd been cheating on me for half that time. I felt like an idiot."

I snorted; he laughed at me and I couldn't help joining him. "Who would be stupid enough to cheat on you?" Seriously, he was the most chivalrous and decent human I'd ever met.

"I wanted to wait for marriage to be intimate. She convinced me to do plenty of things I wasn't comfortable with to keep her happy, so it made no sense to me."

I knew plenty about consent, and I tried to picture a high school girl convincing her boyfriend that it was just sex when he wasn't ready. It reminded me that it wasn't only women that felt the pressure to have sex to keep their partner happy or to meet expectations. I shifted so I was facing him. "I'm sorry."

"It was for the best, in the end. We weren't compatible." I took a sip of my drink as I thought he was finished speaking. "Do you miss your husband?"

I wasn't expecting that, and I swallowed my lemonade down my trachea.

I coughed hard, and he began pounding on my back like that would help. Tears were streaming down my face by the time I could breathe properly, and I held up a hand so he would stop touching me.

"There's nothing to miss. I was finally free when he died, and I was…I was _happy_ that he was gone." It may have sounded harsh, but it was only fitting that he would collapse out in one of the fields after a full day's work. It served him right, and I didn't even bother to run back to the house to call the sheriff. I took my sweet time walking back and even got a glass of water before making that call. It signaled the start of my freedom.

"Even though it's been hard to keep up around here?"

"Even so," I agreed. Especially because I didn't have him constantly telling me what I was doing wrong.

"You never had children," he ventured.

Now that was a sore spot. I had always wanted children, but I would not wish my life on anyone else, especially not a defenseless child. The windchimes clanged into each other again, and dust swirled around on the driveway. I'd never had the money to get it paved.

"He used to love to make fun of me for being barren; said it was a product of my frigidity." I spoke quietly because the words were personal. It hurt to think about to this day.

He pushed off with his foot again and the swing bounced as we moved unevenly. He was gazing at me with heat in his eyes, I saw his intent when his pupils dilated. I held my breath. His hand went to my hair, playing with the ever-present braid that currently trailed over my shoulder. When he pulled the elastic band out of the end and ran his hands through it, I tilted my head in his direction, unable to help myself. He moved, his knee brushing mine as his long fingers massaged my neck. I wanted him then, wanted him more than anything I'd ever wanted. When his other hand came up and he touched my face so, so gently, I was afraid I would break down in front of him.

It didn't matter how much I wanted him, he wasn't mine to have.

I pulled away from him, and as his hands dropped to his lap I ran into the house and into my room. I threw myself face first on my bed and cried like I hadn't done since my mama died.

oOo

Dinner had been awkward, but I was determined to start the next day as though nothing had happened. I had to assess the property now that Edward was here. There were likely many things that needed repairing.

It was hilarious to watch him being so skittish around the horses as they poked their heads over their stall doors. He jumped a mile when an old bay whinnied, and I laughed out loud.

"Here, Lucy is gentle. You can ride her."

He gave me a dubious look. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, of course. Unless you'd like to walk the entire perimeter of the property. It's only fifteen hundred acres."

He groaned and gave Lucy a timid pat on the nose. She snuffed at him and he moved back quickly. "She won't bite, she's just saying hi."

"You have horses that bite?" His eyebrows disappeared into the mess of hair falling over his forehead.

Oh, Lord, he was so endearing. "Yes, but not Lucy, and only if you piss them off."

I placed a stool to Lucy's side and told him to swing his leg over. I had to hand it to him, he was more graceful than I expected. He didn't falter once he set his mind to it, and he was up and holding the saddle horn for dear life in no time.

"She'll follow me and Maria, so just hold the reins loosely while I get mounted."

I went into the stall next to him and mounted Maria, a sweet horse but one a little more lively than Lucy. Maria was a natural leader, which made this easier both for me and Edward. I wouldn't have to worry so much about what he was doing or if he could figure out commands.

"Squeeze your thighs a little for stability, and if we have to go over a hole or a creek, stand in the stirrups to avoid a sore backside."

He muttered something about squeezing thighs, and I blushed scarlet.

We took it easy, meandering to our first destination. I didn't want to spook him or make him too sore to work the rest of the week. The sun was dappled under the trees, and I felt a familiar sense of pride in my land. It didn't hurt that it was all mine, now. The light played over his hair, highlighting the shades of red.

We talked, and it was the first time in a long time that someone wanted to know what I thought. He needed my expertise, and he was a good listener when I explained something. He retained information well, and I rarely had to repeat a directive. We discussed the land, what it was capable of and what it had been reduced to.

"I've been known to make sauce from my tomatoes. I've canned apple butter and applesauce. I make apple fritters, apple donuts, and apple cider. I just don't have the time to focus on that right now. All the animals have to be fed and the heifers milked. I have to keep the horse stalls clean. Keeping the garden up reduces my grocery bill, so I do some gardening every day."

"You don't have time to yourself," he mused.

"I've never had time for myself." That definitely left me bitter, because it wasn't a life I'd chosen for myself. But I was making changes to my circumstances, albeit slowly.

"I'm here to help. Emmett said he's offered to help. He and I can fix things while you take time for yourself. Is he married? His wife could help you can, or bake, or make butter, or whatever. Or she can help us while you soak in a tub." He'd met Emmett when he helped load up the steer for auction.

"Thank you," I murmured, touched by his concern.

"I haven't done anything yet."

"You care. That counts for more than you know." In fact, it overwhelmed me and brought me back to wondering if I was reading into his kindness because I was starved for affection.

I called Emmett when we got back to the house and arranged for him and Rose to come over in a few days.

"Okay, show me how to cook," he said when I hung up the phone.

"It would take me longer to teach you than to just do it myself." I had no idea how to teach anyone a skill I'd picked up from a young age.

"Maybe, but I don't see any ramen or toaster pastries in your cupboard, so this is an area I can't help in unless you show me how." The idea that he was willing to do whatever it took to help me endeared him to me further.

"Fine. I'm making chicken and dumplings."

He stood nearby and watched every step. I made the recipe for biscuit dough that I had memorized and set it aside to rise.

"I might be able to do this." I laughed at the idea that one lesson was all he thought it would take. Granted, I'd showed him something fairly easy.

After dinner, I pulled out my old ledger book and a calculator, along with several pencils. I brewed coffee so I could focus and stay awake and he pulled his chair closer to mine. I started off by explaining my system of how I recorded every bill on one page, every profit on another, and the balancing of the two on a third page. I was still in the red.

"So, I see what he did. A bunch of cutbacks that affected the quality of the crops, robbing Peter to pay Paul. The house and the land are free and clear; I see you paid off a second mortgage, which was a good choice. You owe money on a combine, but you need it to harvest the crops; so that's in the necessity category. Your milking machine has two more payments, and again, it's a necessity. Your monthly utility bills are behind, especially electricity. The sale of the steer made a big dent, even with Emmett's commission."

I was embarrassed about my lack of funds and the need to be extremely judicious with electricity. I had a deal with the electric company to make payments every week. As long as they got something, they wouldn't turn off my power. "I sold my truck about five months ago. It didn't go for much, but it paid off the mortgage. I begged him not to take out that loan, but he wouldn't listen. This was my dad's land originally, before he died and left me and Mama struggling to maintain it. Back then we had help, though."

"And everything changed once you got married?"

I threw my pencil down and slouched in a feeling of defeat. I took a sip of coffee to gather my thoughts before meeting his eyes. "I was seventeen when I got married. My husband was fifty." It still hurt to say out loud to this day. I was a naïve young woman who soon became disillusioned.

"Mama was dying, and she was desperate to see me taken care of," I continued. "More than that, if I'd been the sole heir, the place would have gone to the county and me to foster care. She didn't mean to saddle me with the meanest son of a bitch to ever live in Harper County." Though I tried to resist, the tears overcame me and I dropped my head into my hands. I felt his warm touch on my back, gentle and careful. "He never had a kind word. Never showed affection. He yelled, he denigrated, he struck. He forced himself on me, and when he couldn't get off, he blamed it on me."

Sobs overtook me as my defenses crumbled. Mental images of him pushing himself inside me against my will came crashing down on me. I was never more fortunate than when he lost the ability to get it up, though that was my fault, too, of course, and led to a different sort of abuse.

Finally, I picked my head up and looked into his eyes. Here was tenderness instead of sorrow, desire instead of force. He was so close. I glanced at his mouth, contemplating the right and the wrong of it. Finally, I touched my mouth to his, soft as a whisper. I had the control because he gave it to me willingly. Light touch became desperate as every emotion overwhelmed me at once, and the waves battered my already bruised conscience. He thrust his hands in my hair and his tongue in my mouth as I opened and invited him in. He groaned, and the sound sent need to my core, a sound that snapped me out of my haze.

I leaned away from him, swiftly coming to my senses. My hand rubbed my aching heart, and I saw the look in his eyes that said he would take it further if I let him. I couldn't let him without destroying us both.

My chair made a harsh sound as I stood so abruptly I was surprised it didn't fall over. I ran into my bedroom, not for the first time since Edward came into my life, and leaned against the door I closed and locked behind me.

What the fuck was I thinking? We were alone and I was vulnerable, the only two reasons anything remotely sexual was sparking between us. He was young and impressionable and I couldn't force my attentions on him. I couldn't take advantage of him like my husband had done to me, or I was no better than a monster.


	5. Chapter 5

**Please read with caution if the topic of sexual assault is a trigger for you.**

* * *

I needed to put space between me and Edward in a way that was clear cut. I avoided him for the next few days, knowing he would tend to his chores while I tended to mine. I took my meals into my bedroom with me, feeling like a coward but unable to figure out a better way to send the message that we were never going to be more than a farmer and a hand. Rusty seemed to be more loyal to Edward, because he started to follow him around the property instead of me. I couldn't honestly blame him. I was miserable to be around.

Emmett and Rose arrived as promised. The sun was already too hot to bear, and it was only early morning. The wind blew loose bits of hair from my braid as I stood on the porch next to Edward. I'd left a good three feet between us, but my shoulders hunched nonetheless. Too many emotions were swirling through me, such as fear and regret and guilt. We watched as the McCarty's truck pulled up the dirt drive and parked to the far side by the cattle pen. He got out and opened the door for his wife, and my heart sighed at the proof that there were good and decent men out there. He'd certainly been a friend to me in the time since my husband had passed, though I'd been wary of befriending Rose.

My whole body tensed as they neared and I realized I had to introduce Edward in a way that wouldn't give away the unforgivable things I'd done to him. "Emmett, Rosalie, this is Mr. Cullen, the boy helping me out for the summer." I felt him shift, but he didn't say anything.

"It's nice to meet you," Rose said, addressing Edward. "Please call me Rose. And your first name is?"

"Edward." I felt him look at me, but I stared straight ahead. _Why_ were we so connected I could sense his every movement? "I'm Edward."

"Good to see you again," Emmett said.

I had to refrain myself from bolting into the house before Rose could even make it onto the porch. My nerves were about to snap. I followed her with measured steps instead, desperate to act like nothing was wrong.

"What do you want to do today, Bella?" she asked as she set her basket on the kitchen table.

Exhausted and overwhelmed, I dropped into one of the chairs. "I hadn't put very much thought into what you and I would do. I was too focused on the list for the men." I couldn't bring myself to say Edward's name, too afraid I would give away my emotions with the way my voice sounded.

"What have you been wanting to do the most but haven't had the time?" she asked, sitting down in Edward's chair.

He'd only been there for a month and I already saw that chair as belonging to him.

I sighed. "Well, I want to do several things. I think that's the problem. I want to cook, bake, read, sew, eat junk food, and sit around doing nothing. I can't very well do all of those things."

Rose laughed, and I felt myself blush. "Sure you can. We'll just prioritize."

"I thought for sure you were going to make fun of me," I admitted, staring at the scarred wood tabletop.

"Never, Bella. Not just because you've been through enough, but because you're just figuring out what you want from life now that it's your decision."

Looking up at her, I smiled in gratefulness for her consideration. "Thank you for being here for me, Rose."

She reached across the table and patted my hand. "Not a problem. Now, I think if you want to bake and cook that needs to come first. Unless you're sewing for pleasure, let's leave that out. No mending today."

I nodded as I thought about what I wanted to make. "I want to stew and can apples and tomatoes, oh, and red sauce. I have fresh peas I'd like to can."

"We can make dinner and let it simmer, and I brought some of my sourdough starter. Then you can take a hot bath and read, how does that sound?"

"Indulgent," I answered honestly.

"It's worth it to take time for yourself, Bella. You'll feel like a new woman."

I smiled at her before getting up and pulling out the items we needed to get canning. We worked well side by side, never getting in each other's way but moving in tandem. We had to cook the peas and I cooked some corn while we were at it. The tomatoes I stewed whole, and Rose peeled and cored and sliced apples so she could cook them down with sugar and cinnamon.

As Rose finished off her homemade tomato sauce, she suggested I head to the bath and promised she would make lunch for everyone and then prep dinner. I was reluctant, but I figured she wouldn't relent, so I laid out clean clothes and fresh towels. Before starting the water, I went back to the kitchen and found her piling a platter full of sandwiches.

"You're the best, Rose," I said before biting into ham and cheese. "How can I repay you," I asked once I'd swallowed.

She laughed again. I was learning she was an easy going and cheerful soul, much like her husband. "One of these days you'll be asked for help from someone in the community, and I hope you'll agree. That's all I want in return."

Feeling bold, I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her. Her blonde hair tickled my nose and I pulled back to see shock on her face before she smoothed her expression and looked into my eyes. "See, that was worth it right there. Human interaction is what you need, sweetheart. Promise me you won't shut yourself off from life because of what you went through. You're a survivor."

"Why are you so damn smart?"

She pulled me into my bedroom off the kitchen, and I wondered if I'd offended her with my statement. Instead, she sat on my bed and I tentatively sat next to her. When she spoke, it was in undertones.

"I was assaulted in high school." It was such a simple admission, for all the importance of the meaning behind it.

"What? Who?"

"It was in my senior year, a guy that had asked me out. I told him I wasn't interested, because Emmett was already on my radar. I told Em that the guy had been bothering me because he kept showing up in random places. That's the only thing that saved me, telling Emmett I was basically being stalked. I didn't show for a date and he came looking for me." Rose took a few deep breaths and I grabbed her hand, holding it tightly in mine. "I was walking out of the drug store when James grabbed me. He dragged me behind the store to the alley behind it. He had his hand over my mouth and nose, and I couldn't breathe." Her eyes took on a faraway look, and I understood that she was in a different headspace. It was a coping mechanism familiar to me.

"You don't have to tell me the rest, Rose."

"Well, let me just say that Emmett was not the one to take my virginity, but he did find me and punch James repeatedly in the face. Emmett had called the police when I didn't meet him, but they told him there was nothing they could do about him being stood up for a date. They felt really stupid when we walked into the station to file a report after Emmett hogtied James and threw him in the bed of his truck."

"God, Rose. I'm sorry that happened to you." I admired her strength even more now. I shuddered at memories of my own that hadn't died with my husband.

"I learned to accept the pain of what happened and to move on from it. It wasn't overnight, it took a lot of therapy, but Emmett was there for me through it all. He was definitely more than a casual date, thank God. We went through many tears and breakdowns before we were able to be intimate the first time. He was, and is, incredibly patient."

"Thank you for sharing that with me. I don't like to talk about myself, but maybe if I did open up it would help." I thought about whether I should talk to her about it, since she would understand better than I assumed, or if Edward was the one to talk to. Should I burden him with my pain?

"I'm always a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen, Bella. I don't think you're ready, not yet, but when you are I'll be there." She stood and nodded toward the bathroom. "Go take your bath, and I'll feed the guys."

Rose closed the door behind her, and I went to lock it. I truly wished for the first time that I had a large tub. Wanting to make the best of it, I headed in there and turned the water on hot while rummaging for anything resembling bubbles or bath salts. Coming up empty, I sighed and stripped down before testing the water. I wanted it hot, and that's what I got.

I closed my eyes and tried to savor my time as I sank down to my shoulders. My knees were practically up in my boobs, but it didn't matter. It was just shy of heaven to be in the silence with no responsibilities. I realized I'd forgotten to scrounge up a book, and my mind wandered instead.

I could admit to myself that I wanted Edward. I wanted to see him undressed, to find out if he was as muscular as he appeared fully clothed. I wanted to know if his chest was smooth or covered in hair. I wanted to see his desire on display like it had been the other night when I kissed him. I really, really wanted to know if sex could be anything near as exciting as simply kissing him had been. I had a feeling it would be better, but I had no comparison.

Edward confessed to being a virgin. I would be taking something away from him that he'd intended to keep for his future wife. It could be said that I was an older, experienced woman taking advantage of a teenager. He was a guest in my home, a boarder that was volunteering to help me out for the summer. His parents had entrusted me with their son, and I'd given a promise to take care of him. And I was considering violating that trust.

Lord, how I wanted to violate him.

But that wouldn't be right. Despite being uncharacteristically naïve, I knew the basics. I knew that he and I would be fundamentally changed if we went through with what I wanted. It should be his choice, but I wasn't even sure if he was mature enough to realize all of the consequences to his actions. What would we do when he left at the end of August? I'd have to let him leave, to go back to his future, even if it killed me.

A bitter laugh escaped me and echoed across the tiles. I was made of stronger stuff than that. If the bastard I was married to hadn't managed to kill me, I could survive loving Edward and letting him go. It was the only way I could have what I wanted and not ruin him.

Groaning at the direction my thoughts had taken, I pulled the drain plug and stood to take a shower. There were other people here, and I couldn't stay in the bathroom all day.

* * *

 **Bella is still struggling with her feelings, but she's made a solid friend in Rose.**

 **Do we all know what happens in the next chapter?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Are we ready for it?**

* * *

The second the McCartys left, I felt nervous. Butterflies waged a war in my gut as I stood looking out the back door. I'd heard the front door open and close, and footsteps going up the stairs. The pipes groaned inside the walls as he turned on the shower, and my mind wandered back to thoughts of what he would look like naked. To distract myself, I watched Rusty shuffle off across the yard and smiled at the simplicity of his life.

I was purposeful in the clothes I chose after my bath, my mind made up about what I wanted. I didn't have anything terribly fancy, but I picked a soft dress that whispered around my knees and made me feel like a woman. My hair was down, it's natural waves and curls hitting midway down my back.

Whatever bravado I had earlier slipped as I heard the water shutoff. I closed my eyes for a moment, and when I reopened them I focused on the swaying wheat off in the distance. It would be ready soon, and for the first time in too many years, we would have help bringing it in. I tried to center my thoughts on the way those stalks bent and waved without breaking, but my nerves were threatening to cause a revolt with those butterflies.

I heard his quiet footfalls on the hardwood, and instinctively crossed my arms over my chest.

"Bella."

His voice caused my breath to come to a complete stop. Anticipation fairly buzzed along my skin. I had to suck in a breath and try to deflect what I knew he was going to say. "Rose was wonderful today. She pampered me, which is something I haven't done since I was sixteen."

"That's great. You deserve it." I heard the sincerity in his voice, felt his body heat as he stood closely behind me. Inexplicable tears threatened at the back of my lids, and I blinked fiercely.

"We can't explore whatever this is between us, Edward. We just can't." I was terrified of what my body was saying to me as I felt an aching begin low in my belly. He was a child. I was an old woman. I was his employer. He was my ward.

"Why not?"

A simple enough question. My answer burst out of me. "For God's sake, you're only nineteen! I won't do to you what was done to me. I refuse." My breath came harshly now, and I was tempted to sit with my head between my knees. What I wanted warred with what I thought was right.

"It's nowhere near the same. I have the choice you didn't. Don't take that choice away from me by deciding for me."

Oh God, the thought that I was robbing him of his choice nearly sent me to the floor. I used the last excuse I had, knowing that I'd lost the battle with my conscience. "You and I are complete opposites, Edward, even before you factor in the age difference. I can't offer you a thing."

"Yourself; your time." I scoffed, but his logic was wearing down my already weak defenses. "I'm serious. Those are worth the most to me."

His hands rested gently on my shoulders. I wanted to run as fast as I could, not because Edward scared me, but because I scared myself with the neediness trying to claw its way out of me. When he stroked his hands down my hair, I relented and leaned against him. His chest was hard and I felt a deep sense of comfort and rightness.

"Do you even know how strong you are, Bella?" he whispered. "Not just physically, either. You shouldn't have had to endure so much."

It was something I was just coming to realize myself, that I didn't deserve the hand I'd been dealt. I wasn't wrong or stupid or lazy. I wasn't ugly or fat or cold. I wasn't useless or barren. I didn't even have to be a daughter or a wife, I was simply Bella; a strong woman that did her best to endure and survive for fifteen years. If I told Edward no, he would stop touching me and ask what was for dinner and how he could help me make it. There never had to be harsh words or harsher touches in my household again. I was in control, but I wanted to know how it felt to lose that control in a whole new way.

I sighed a little as he rubbed up and down my arms. He moved my hair off my neck and kissed me there, and my eyes closed as my heart raced. My hips moved of their own accord, and I encountered what I was smart enough to know was an erection pressing into me from behind. I liked the way he tasted me, touched me carefully and with reverence. Realizing how good it could be between us caused my eyes to water.

"I'm almost completely inexperienced in this, so you have to tell me what you like and what you don't."

"I have no idea. Sex was never nice for me." I knew that I needed to be as honest as possible so that he never made me feel unsafe.

"Oh, sweetheart." He pulled me into his arms, and I felt more content right there tucked under his chin than I ever knew was possible. "Please, please tell me at any time if you want to stop."

I nodded as I thought again of how considerate he was. This was my first time in a situation where it was my choice, where the other person asked what I wanted and needed. I felt like I was as much a virgin as he.

My warring emotions finally at peace, I took a step back and held a hand out. Edward took it in his, and it pleased me to feel the calluses on his palm placed there by the virtue of hard work. I walked the short distance into the bedroom that was not directly visible from the kitchen.

"This was my parents' room. M-my husband wanted the room upstairs because it's bigger, but I like this one." I never said his name anymore, it felt too much like bringing him back into the house to speak it out loud.

"I like it, too. It's almost hidden, like a secret."

I smiled, leaning toward him in the hopes that he would kiss me. He touched my lips with his own tentatively and I couldn't help but delve into his hair. It was a tad damp, and I liked the way it felt between my fingers. Edward backed up and took his shirt off, and I stared. I'd thought about what he would look like too many times to count, and there he was. Smooth with a smattering of hair, basically how I pictured him. Fingertips ran across my skin above the neckline of my dress, and I feared I would come undone at his tenderness.

I took a few tentative steps closer to the bed and Edward followed me. He held my body close to his, running his hands through my hair. I felt his heart beating under my cheek and knew suddenly that he would never go any further unless I initiated it.

With a boldness I hadn't known I possessed, I yanked off my sundress and dropped it on the floor. I only owned plain cotton undergarments and almost wished I had something attractive to wear, but as I looked into his eyes it didn't matter. Not what I was wearing or the wrinkles on my face or the gray in my hair. Not my age or my income or my knowledge of sex.

"Edward. I'm-I'm ready. I think. For you to take control."

"Oh." He laughed self-consciously. "Do you remember when I said I'd never done this?"

I nodded. "I'm not good at anything other than lying still and keeping my mouth shut." I just about clamped my hand over my mouth at such a statement.

"Shit." He came closer still and held my face in his hands like I was a fragile china doll. "We'll do it differently, I promise. We'll make it amazing, and it'll be just the two of us in this room. No ghosts of the past."

I nodded, feeling tears prick behind my eyelids. I pressed my mouth to his in earnest before slowing down to savor the way he tasted. He moved to kiss my cheek, my ear, and down to my neck. I gasped as his erection pressed into me from the front this time.

He moaned loudly when I touched it gently through his shorts. I snatched my hand away, feeling my face flaming.

" _Please_ , it felt good, Bella."

I reached for him once more and stroked up and down his length. He reached around me and fumbled for the clasp on my bra, apparently not sure how to get it off. I pulled it down my arms and twisted it to the front so I could unhook it and drop it. Instead of staring at them or groping me, he held me close to his chest so our bare skin met warmly. He cupped my ass and I moaned, surprised at my own reaction.

"I'd like to move to the bed, Edward." I assumed that was the next part.

"If that's what you want."

I sat on the edge of my bed and swung my legs up to the quilt. He climbed in on the other side and stretched out next to me.

I stared at him expectantly. "Can you touch me?"

He chuckled. "I've been dying to!"

His hands went to my breasts and I refused to flinch. It felt so nice that my back automatically arched toward him. I moaned some more as his fingers flicked at my nipples. I had no idea it could be nice when a man touched them. I couldn't believe the feelings moving through me as he grew bold and kissed my right breast. Edward's arm slipped around me and he shifted so that he could use his tongue and fingers on me. It was such a new sensation the way the ache pulled between my legs every time he touched my nipples, like they were somehow connected. His name slipped from my lips alongside sighs and moans. I didn't know I was capable of such emotions as the ones that coursed through me.

I wasn't sure what I needed, but I knew it had to come from him. I sat up and reached for his shorts, knowing that last barrier needed to go. I swallowed thickly when I looked at what was between his legs. There was no delicate way to tell him that I had been with a much smaller man before him. "I've no idea if you'll fit." If a small one hurt as much as it did, I was starting to worry how much a large one would hurt. I trusted Edward, but old fears crept up on me.

"I don't know anything about it either," he said. "If it hurts, I promise I'll stop. You just have to tell me."

It was not an empty promise coming from Edward. I knew he meant it. "Will you try?" At his nod I pulled off my underwear, feeling exposed in more ways than the obvious.

He went back to touching me, and I relaxed. I loved the feel of his strong hands on my soft skin. It sent a thrill down my spine as his fingers went further down my torso and found the hair between my legs. I shifted, unsure what he thought he was doing, but then my hips shot off the bed when he swirled his thumb lazily over me.

"Um, I just realized that I don't have a condom."

It was like the scratch of a record in my brain as I had to focus on what he said. "Oh. I've been on the pill since I was 17, I just never told my husband. I didn't even think about not taking them anymore after… _after_."

"So you're still okay with this?"

Okay with it? At this point I was afraid I'd combust without it. "Yes, Edward."

His fingers went back to their exploring and I closed my eyes to ward off the embarrassment that someone other than my gynecologist had his hands down there. Edward seemed to know what he was doing this time, and there was electricity shooting along my limbs as he never ceased his movements.

When he shifted so that his hands were on either side of me and his body was parallel to mine, I knew what was coming next. I was afraid, but I was no longer willing to let fear rule my life. I smiled, wanting this with him. "It's okay, Edward. I promise."

It was the same but different as he pushed inside me. There was the difference in size that I didn't know what to do with. I shifted my hips and widened my legs, and he slipped in deeper. It didn't hurt, it was just _more_.

"Jesus. I have never experienced _anything_ like this." I admit, that made me ridiculously happy.

"Me either, I promise you." There was an emotion in his eyes that I was unused to, a softness in his face that I cherished.

As he moved back out, I ached with the loss of him. He came back, pushing in deeply, and I gasped at how hard he was and how full I felt. It was unexplainable at that moment, the swirling thoughts and feelings. I grabbed for him instinctively, needing him to move. He obliged and set a pace of back and forth that I enjoyed.

He seemed to be finished quickly and I blushed at his choice of curses. There was no prayer of thanks that he could now climb off and go away, only wonder at what had just passed between us. "That was better than anything I've ever done before, hands down."

"No, it wasn't."

Something in his voice caught my attention as he rolled over next to me. It echoed of disappointment and damaged male pride. "I promise you, I have never done anything that fun."

"Okay."

I sat up and hovered over him. My hair fell in his face and I laughed as I pushed it behind my shoulders. I was _happy_. "You know I was young, right, and he was not. Well, he was very rough the first time, and uncaring. He wanted a virgin, and he expected me to accept whatever he wanted without complaint. But the first few times, I fought and screamed. I had no idea that in the end, I would, in fact, end up acquiescing without a peep." I saw his flinch at my words. There was a time when I would not have spoken of it, not told a soul how truly horrific it had been in that bed up the stairs. With Edward, I needed him to know the whole of it. I glanced down and ran my fingers over his skin, entranced with our naked bodies being so intimately entwined.

"And the birth control? You said he didn't know."

"He wanted strapping boys to run the ranch for him. He was a slave driver, Edward, let me tell you. The men he hired weren't allowed breaks for any reason. Every few years we'd have someone collapse out there from lack of water or just sun exposure. He would fire them. Most quit after the first week. After a while, even the poorest men in the area would sooner starve than come to work for that man." I closed my eyes and tried not to cry. I had many regrets, but children were a huge sacrifice I'd made during those fifteen years. "I would _not_ bring children into the world he had created. I got the prescription before we were married, even though I had to go two towns over, because that's what my mom told me to do. She suggested a few years alone would be ideal, but I kept renewing that prescription every time. I hid them in my box of tampons for fifteen years, can you imagine?" It probably would have meant a beating if he'd found them, but it would have been worth it.

"You went through more than anyone should have to. You endured and you survived. You deserve to be pampered and to make all of your decisions on your own." He held my head to his chest and stroked his thumb over my ear. It was quiet in the house, and I felt utterly content for the first time in a very long time. I didn't know what the rest of the summer would hold, much less the future after that bubble of time, but I was ready to face it. However much time I was given with Edward, I would cherish it.

* * *

 ***Sigh* The next chapter is lemony sweet, too. ;)**


	7. Chapter 7

**This chapter is pure fluff. The only thing I was working with was Edward saying they had dinner and "There was no more talking after that." I wanted to devote an entire chapter to the harvest, so that's coming next.**

* * *

As we ate the reheated dinner Rose left for us, Edward told me that he and Emmett had accomplished everything on my list and then some. I told him that my surrounding neighbors were coming over in August to help harvest the wheat. It was the first time in years, and it would save me bruises and cuts, sore muscles, and even crop losses. Around here, the community helped each other out without having to be asked. It was a small community and one I loved. I hadn't felt very much like I was a part of it since I was a teenager, which was a pity, but things were changing. They'd accepted me back into their circle without question.

"When I sold my truck, I made a deal with the grocer to deliver meat and staples monthly. I pay him a delivery fee, but I suspect that he's sneaking in a discount somewhere, because my bill keeps going down. He even throws in the olives and pickles I like. Since I can provide my own fresh ingredients like milk, butter, and produce, I freeze what I have to so he doesn't have to come so often. I miss something as simple as going to town and having that interaction. I used to be in and out, because I was timed, but I could say hello and try to feel like a normal part of the world. It was really the only time I got off the farm, so this place began to feel like a prison after a few years."

"It must have been hard on you, to be abused and then be trapped on the farm you love with your abuser." He covered my hand with his as he spoke, and I turned my hand to clasp his.

"I would saddle Maria and take off some days, and I would tell him I had to attend to the apple orchards or I had to fix a fence. He was busy during the day with all the work that should have taken three men. He still noticed if I was gone too long, and I even came back with apples." I stared over Edward's shoulder for a few minutes, visions of the past playing like a slideshow before me. Evenings were the worst, when he had nothing to occupy his time but me.

"Bella." He said my name so tenderly, I was brought back to the present.

I looked down, feeling a flush on my cheeks. "Sorry."

"Don't ever apologize."

"I don't mean to disappear, but sometimes my mind wanders."

"That's okay. It really is. If you ever want to tell me what you're thinking, I'll listen." He gave me a small smile.

I smiled back at him, wondering how he'd gotten to be so mature. "The apples are almost ready for picking, and I want to make everything I used to make. Rose promised to come back and help me pick them and set them up." I was excited about it, because it was one of my favorite times of the year. I noticed Edward was staring at me, and I glanced down to make sure I hadn't dropped food on his shirt, the only thing I'd thrown on.

"What are you staring at, Edward?"

"What? Oh." He blushed, and it was so attractive. "You, I guess."

"Is that so?" That warmed me from the inside, and desire rose quickly within me.

"Yes, it is."

I got up and moved to straddle him, feeling free and completely amazing. His chest was bare and begging for my touch, and his hands gripped my hips as I rocked over him, making it impossible not to notice that he was hard underneath me. It made me gasp, the way his body connected with mine. I rocked again, and he lifted my shirt, pulling it off and tossing it over his head. I was naked in my kitchen, and the only barrier between me and this man was his boxers; it was more than a first, it was something I'd never even imagined. Instinct took over as I arched my back, lifting my hands to my hair to push it over my shoulders. Edward's mouth closed over one of my nipples and I cried out, clinging to his head and holding it to me. Dishes clattered to the floor as Edward stood and laid me back on the table, and my breath came so fast I couldn't catch enough air. He loomed over me, pulling his underwear off and running his hands over me. I watched his face, needing to see the passion in his eyes as he touched me. I found I couldn't close my eyes without fear returning, and there was nothing to be afraid of here. There was nothing about Edward that I feared. I wouldn't let that old emotion ruin what we had.

Everything about him was rock hard as he stepped close and entered me. My legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer, and I knew nothing but Edward as he made love to me. His hands were on my breasts again, and I felt a tightening low in my belly that I'd never known before. The table shifted across the floor, and I couldn't even be bothered to care. His muscles strained as he pushed into me over and over, and I clutched at his forearms. It was right there, something I knew I was reaching for but couldn't find, and then it hit me like a tidal wave. It washed over my body as I shivered and my legs went taut.

"Edward!" His name ripped itself from my throat as he came undone over me. It was incredibly hot to watch him as he gained such pleasure from my body.

He leaned forward, bracing his hands on the table and kissing me. I cupped his cheeks and held on as his tongue moved with mine. When he stood up, he pulled me with him with gentle hands on my back. Something was stuck to my behind, but I didn't want to know what it was. I was a little unsteady on my feet, absolutely unsure what the hell had just happened, but totally willing to do it again.

"Fuck, Bella, are you okay?" His concern was touching.

"Besides the fact that there are crumbs stuck to my butt and I think you broke a mug?" I laughed at the sheepish look on his face. "I'm fantastic."

Now his face lit up and I grinned. "I'll clean this up." I thought he meant the kitchen floor, but his hands moved over my bottom and brushed the crumbs away.

"You just want an excuse to touch me."

"I really do, but can you blame me?" He kissed me again and massaged each of my cheeks in his hands. We were both panting when he pulled away.

"Edward, you might be starting something you can't finish."

"Who says I can't?" he teased, grinning and bending at the knees to pick me up. My legs went around his waist automatically, and I gasped as his penis nudged me again.

"Are you seriously ready for that again?"

His grin was huge as he set me on the counter by the sink. I yelped at the cold on my backside, and he laughed at me. I reached over for the sprayer on the sink, but he was faster. Water dripped down the side of my head as he squirted me before dropping the sprayer. I wanted to be mad, to find my practical side as I thought about the fact that I prepared food on this counter. Instead, I took charge, grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss. Using my legs, I forced him closer to me and moaned as his hardness teased over an area I now knew gave me huge amounts of pleasure.

"Oh, please, Edward. Again."

I realized that I felt powerful because Edward lusted after me. I needed what he could give me and I felt safe with his strength, but he needed me too. He grunted as he pressed forward, and I traced my hands over the long, lean lines of him. I found that he liked it when I grabbed his ass and encouraged him to join with me. It was overwhelming to the point that I dropped my head to his shoulder and held him as his muscles contracted under my palms.

"Yes, Bella, God, right there, you feel so good."

Shifting in search of that release, my hips tilted upward and I cried out in surprise at the way his movements continuously rubbed me the right way. His response was a loud rumble that started deep in his chest and made its way up to my ear. I looked up into his eyes as he lost control.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes," I chanted, amazed that my toes weren't curled with the way they were tingling.

It seemed that time stopped when he tensed and came inside me, little aftershocks of pleasure racing up and down my spine proving that it could be truly outstanding between us.

"Is it wrong that I'm fucking proud that you've come twice now?" he whispered in my ear. He kissed the shell of it and I shivered.

"Not as long as you keep figuring out how to make it happen." I still hadn't let go of his fine, fine ass.

"Now we're going to need a shower," he pointed out.

"Too bad mine are all tiny, or I'd share one with you."

Edward straightened up and looked at me. His smile was big, his features relaxed and happy. I was positive my expression matched his. "How about I move my things into your room while you're showering?"

"That's a great idea." I touched his cheek, and he leaned into my hand before turning and kissing it. He helped me off the counter and we went our separate ways.

I found myself humming as I showered, and I laughed at myself. I was giddy. For the first time in my adulthood, I was carefree and sexually satisfied. I was worshipped and adored. My heart beat faster as I thought about spending the night with Edward in my bed. Would he want me again? Would he be able to make love again soon?

Damn, I certainly hoped so. There was an ache between my legs that reminded me to go slow, but for once I didn't care to be cautious. I reminded myself of my vow to enjoy what time I had left with Edward. He would stay in my room, he would sleep in my bed, and he would give me pleasure like I'd never experienced.

My summer was looking up.


	8. Chapter 8

**Happy Independence Day to my American readers. Be safe.**

* * *

The rest of July went by in a blur. I was trying my best to live in the moment, to enjoy Edward and everything he had to offer. He was witty; he made me laugh until I almost peed in my pants. He was caring, insisting I took Sundays off while he tended to the animals. He was solicitous, constantly asking if I felt okay or if he'd hurt me. I was going out of my mind with lust for him some days, and I got a little carried away. I had to assure him that I liked it when he took control and that it didn't hurt or frighten me. I'd discovered his birthday was back in June and I insisted on baking him a cake. We might or might not have ended up with flour in interesting crevices.

When August came, we had to go back to employee/employer, at least for one day. We sat on the porch swing, one of us at each end, as Rose turned into my driveway in her truck. Alice Whitlock pulled in behind her, and we watched as they got out with their children. Two combines came behind them, one driven by Emmett and the other by Alice's husband Jasper. They passed us and went on to the wheat fields to park.

"That's Jasper in the Stetson, and his wife Alice there, and their daughter Penelope. Rose and Emmett's kids are Sara and Jason," I told him of the newcomers.

"Okay. Thanks."

A long van came down the street and turned into the yard. Edward looked over at me and I smiled. "That's Mike and Jessica. He runs the grocery store. Wait until you see their kids." I had a feeling he would laugh at their huge brood. I was honestly a little jealous at how much Mike loved his wife and the beautiful family they had created. It was humorous to see Edward's brows raised as he turned to me after all their kids piled out. "They're a really happy family."

"And Catholic, by the looks of it."

I snorted.

Everybody made their way to the porch and came up to us to say hello. I knew all of their names and tried to address them personally. I kneeled and listened to little Penelope try to tell me a story about falling and hurting her knee. Jason was irritated that Rose caught him trying to put a frog in his sister's bed and he was punished.

"A whole week I couldn't go help Dad. It's not fair."

"Well, how would Sara have felt if she'd found the frog? You're her big brother and she looks up to you. You have to set an example."

"Yeah, I guess, Miss Bella."

I couldn't help pulling him to me for a brief hug. He smiled at me before running off to climb Emmett's leg. I turned at the sound of the swing bouncing hard as six kids thought they could reach the porch ceiling with their feet.

"I think it's time to go inside and make a game plan, what do you say?" Alice said.

I nodded in gratitude. We all went into the house for a few minutes, where it was determined that the two pregnant ladies would stay in with the kids while the rest of the adults would get started on the fields.

Mike took the keys to Jasper's truck, and Edward jumped in the bed. I tried not to ogle the long muscles of his forearms as he swung himself up. I had to get my own combine out of the large shed where I stored what machinery I had, and it was a good way to keep from being distracted. I double checked the feeder house and the drive belt, though I knew Emmett and Edward had done cursory checks of the machines a few weeks ago. The sound of the engine was loud in the confined space, but it brought a sense of excitement to me as I thought about the day ahead. It had always thrilled me to see what my land could produce, the fertile way she exploded with whatever I planted in her soil. Be it corn, wheat, or a simple potato, I could grow and harvest almost anything on my farm. It made me proud of the generations of Higginbothams that owned this land and cared for it, and the fact that it was still mine, still in the family. The county had strict laws when I was younger about the age of landowners. I could have lost everything more than once. First when my mother died, if I hadn't been married to someone old enough for the land to pass to, and again, when that same man almost ruined what he'd been given. What he should never have been given. I didn't think I could have emancipated, though I thought of it when I was newly married. I thought of running far and never looking back, but the land called to me with her rich offerings. It was hard to explain to anyone that had never lived that life.

The machine under me rumbled loudly as I drove it out to the field. The wheat was beautiful, a pale amber color that waved in the strong Oklahoma wind. Emmett and Jasper were staggered in their vehicles, and I lined up to their right, dropping the head on my machine and starting forward.

The biggest thing about harvesting any crop, besides the physical, is the amount of time available to think. It was tradition, every summer, albeit an unavoidable tradition. It wasn't my favorite thing to do when I was married, since my husband would drive the combine and I would tackle small sections with a scythe, but it wouldn't be so bad this year. It was early but plenty hot, and wheat dust poured out of the back of the two combines in front of me. I had a small portable radio that I clicked on and it spit static at me until it picked up some unknown station playing something gentle and soothing. Emmett reached the end of the first row and circled to make a new row. Jasper followed, lining up next to him and just slightly overlapping rows. I reached the end of mine and mimicked their turns. It was calming, the routine of it all, and my head wandered a bit to the end of the month.

Edward would go back to Washington. He would begin a career in a fancy office that his daddy owned, and I would remain here. I would bring in the apples and the pears, I would plant winter wheat, and I would have to hire a new hand. It was something I'd been putting off the thought of, because anybody new was a huge adjustment to me. I didn't trust easily, but it was important to find someone reliable that had experience. I didn't think I could handle training anyone; I would be in misery as it was, with nothing to look forward to but a cold bed at the end of the night.

I brought my thoughts to a halt as my grain tank became full. Mike drove over with the truck when we stopped and let Emmett empty his grain first. It was monotonous but it was familiar, and the morning passed quickly. Rose would instruct Edward and Mike how to separate the grain that would be kept from the stuff I would sell. It had to dry first, and they would be using the grain elevator to store it in the silo. I'd have to bale the straw left in the field at some point, and since rain wasn't in the forecast for a few days, I didn't have to hurry. I could use it for winter feed for the steers along with some of the lesser quality grain. I would sell what I could, but it wasn't my biggest profit generator. A second wave of corn would be ready soon, and that would help add money to my coffers.

When we broke for lunch, Alice and Jessica had a few platters of sandwiches waiting for us near the house, along with lemonade and iced tea. I stopped in my tracks when Edward came around the corner of the barn. He'd removed his shirt, and his glistening skin was coated in a thin layer of dust from the wheat. I swallowed a suddenly parched throat and looked away before anyone noticed. The sight was etched into my brain; his bare skin was sun-kissed and sweaty, the definition in his muscles so very apparent. I grabbed the nearest glass and gulped its contents without even tasting it, then took another glass and a few sandwiches to sit on a tree stump by myself. I kept separate from the others, a habit I'd grown into, and they left me alone.

The day burned on, growing hotter and more stifling. Jasper was the one to take the last row of my modest wheatfield, and I sat in my idling tractor and watched with pride. Mike and Edward came and unloaded the last of the grain, and we all went inside my blessedly cool house to clean up and eat the dinner that Alice and Jessica made for us. My home was full in a way I couldn't recall it ever being before, though it must have been at some point when Mama and Daddy were alive. It made my swelling heart want to explode. Children played on the floor, or, in Penelope's case, curled in her father's lap. Emmett had a loud laugh that made me smile reflexively. Rose sat near me but didn't bother me with inane talk. Jessica never stopped babbling, but I couldn't even find it in me to care. Well, until she brought up my dead husband.

"Are we going to see you on Sundays, Bella?" Jess asked.

"I suppose so, if you want me to come," I answered, looking at my lap. Suddenly the dirt stains were fascinating as she invited me to church and lunch after.

"Oh, honey, we've always wanted you to come, you know that wasn't the problem."

Mike tried to shut his wife up, but she had a pretty big mouth. "No, Mike, we all know about the elephant in the room. Why shouldn't I tell her that we always wanted to get to know her away from that overbearing husband of hers but never got the chance."

My gut rolled, the chili threatening to come back the way it had gone thirty minutes ago. "Um, I'd rather not talk about him."

"Sorry, but know that you have a standing invitation for Sunday lunch. That's all I'll say for now."

"Thank God," Mike muttered.

Everyone went back to talking about something else, and Edward went into the kitchen to do the dishes with Alice. He was the first to offer to help in any situation, and that eagerness to share the burden would serve him well as he worked toward his future goals. Though we didn't speak of it that often, I knew he was going to be the chief financial officer for his company after he rose through the ranks. He would begin in the mail room as any new hire with little experience or training, but I had no doubt he'd move swiftly up what they called the ladder. He was smart and hardworking, and loyal. It was those qualities that I admired in him that would take him from me and damn me to a life of loneliness. He would go and do his duty because he was loyal to his family. I was but a blip on the radar of his life.

I glanced at him as he came out of the kitchen and couldn't quite meet his gaze. I didn't want the wave of despair I was pushing down to reach him.

 _I'm living in the moment_ , I reminded myself. Tonight we would sleep because we were exhausted, but tomorrow we would go back to the relationship we'd built. It was fun, easy, and light. It was not depressing, and I had to control my thoughts of the future as so many people filled my living room, or I would erupt.

Everyone soon left, as little ones tired out to drift asleep on shoulders and even adults had trouble concealing their yawns. I said goodbye to each of them, thanking them in turn for their contribution. Only as Alice called for Edward to come out of the kitchen did I realize he was still there, alone. He came to stand by my side, and yes, my heart fluttered at the thoughts that conjured. The door shut resolutely, and I locked it while fighting conflicting emotions. Rusty plopped his butt in front of the door and dropped his head to sleep. How simple life was for animals.

"I'm completely beat," I said, before anything more desperate came rushing out.

"Me, too."

"Let's get some sleep." _Let's talk._

"Yeah."

My hand massaged my heart as we set about turning off lamps and ensuring the house was closed up for the night. My hideaway bedroom was suddenly a prison, keeping me from openly declaring that I'd follow Edward anywhere his life took him. I knew I'd stay put like I had my whole life. The farm was my home, my livelihood, and all I had. I loved it with a sickness, a possession that would be unhealthy if aimed at a person. Nothing and no one would change that about me, not even the man I loved. I showered and waited for him with eyes wide open while he took a turn. Then we held tight in that bed, an unseen clock counting down the days.

* * *

 **It's going to be bittersweet for a bit, as the harvest signals the summer drawing to an end. I know you know the ending, so I'll try not to draw out their separation.**


	9. Chapter 9

**You might need a tissue handy.** **There's a special author's note at the bottom, if you're so inclined.**

* * *

With the money I made during the month of August, I was able to pay off all of the debt that my husband had accrued. This helped me to begin saving money to pay a ranch hand to start by the beginning of September.

It was something we didn't speak about; the elephant in the room, as Jess had said. Edward had to leave soon, and I clung to him. We had discovered every inch of each other's bodies, our likes and dislikes. Edward had tried using his mouth on me, and I was astonished at the new sensations he created. He brought me to screaming orgasms regularly, until my eyes rolled back in my head and I went limp like overcooked spaghetti.

I never complained.

We were in the horse barn early one morning in the middle of the week. We'd only been outside for a handful of minutes observing Lucy, who was pregnant. I was so excited to have a foal, another experience I'd missed greatly. We moved her to a bigger stall with extra straw, and checked on her regularly.

Feeling bold and mischievous, I stepped in front of Edward and started unfastening his pants.

"Bella, what—holy shit."

He couldn't even form a sentence as I kneeled, pulling him out of his pants and stroking him until he hardened. When I lowered my head and closed my mouth around his length, he fell back against the stall door for support.

I licked, sucked, and swirled my tongue. It wasn't my favorite thing to do, in all honesty, but I enjoyed the way he would come undone. There was nothing but the sound of Edward moaning and soft whinnying from the horses around us.

"Oh, God, Bella, I'm gonna come. You'd better—"

Already resolved to see it through, I sucked harder until he exploded in my mouth. I kept my eyes tightly closed as he settled down and the taste of him lingered on the back of my tongue. He sighed unevenly as I fixed his pants and stood so that there was no evidence of what I'd just done.

"I hadn't yet given you a proper good morning," I said with a wink and a laugh. It made me happy to feel so light, like I could float away with a slight breeze.

"And quite a greeting it was, Miss Bella."

"Happy to oblige, especially after that thing you did last night. Good God, I didn't know it was possible to feel that way. Like I was burning from the inside out, and then everything coalesced." I almost lost myself in reminiscing about how it felt.

He grinned. "Maybe I'll do it again tonight, then."

I laughed at that thought. "Oh, really? Maybe—"

"Hello!" someone called from outside the barn.

I moved several feet away from the stalls and Edward, running a hand over my braid and brushing off the knees of my pants. My heart was racing away at the idea of how close we came to being caught.

"In here, Michael!" I called.

I faced the door as he came around the corner, his face red from the sun and his hat in his hands. His sweaty hair was stuck flat to his head. "Miss Bella. Edward." He nodded at the both of us in turn.

"What can I do for you?"

"Well, Jess wanted me to come by and ask if you have any of that apple butter yet this season. Said she'd be willin' to pay ya for it."

"Oh. Well, I made some last week, but I've yet to take the time to do a big batch. Why don't you take her what I have, but no charge." I smiled at him, pleased that they liked my recipe.

He slapped his hat on his thigh as he seemed to think through his next words. "Well, you see, Jess isn't happy with the brand I stock in the store. Says yours is better. So I kinda want to come ever so often to buy some from ya."

I felt my face flush. "Oh."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward walk off toward the back of the horse barn. Michael wanted to know if I could make enough apple butter and pumpkin butter to have a small section on his store shelves. As the seasons changed, so did my options for produce and the types of jams and jellies I could make.

"I have some frog jam ready from earlier this summer if you're interested. I can't eat it all myself, why don't I give you what I have and the rest of my apple butter. Let's go into the cellar."

I lead him to the door of my cellar and down the steps. It was the only place on the entire farm that was less than ninety degrees. I waved my hand around until I found the hanging cord to turn on the bare bulb hanging from the low ceiling.

"Ah, here you go."

I handed over what Michael could carry, some going in his pockets. He handed me a wad of cash, like he'd stuffed several bills into his pockets instead of using a wallet.

"No, please take all of that at no charge. We're neighbors, remember?"

He shuffled his feet. "See, Miss Bella, the thing is, my wife would kill me if I didn't pay ya. She was adamant."

"Oh." My face heated. "Thank you." I tried to be gracious instead of feeling awkward.

I walked him to his truck and watched as he pulled out of my dirt driveway. I had to shade my face with my hand as the sun reached its mid-morning height. The wind blew my chimes around and I searched for Edward in the yard. I didn't see him, so I went back into the barn.

"Well, that was interesting," I said as I found him staring into Lucy's stall.

"I'm so happy for you, Bella. You're making friends and creating new sources of income. You'll be able to hire someone soon." He brushed at the hair that came loose from my braid. "You never have to be alone again."

I looked at him as he spoke, seeing the sadness in his eyes, and then rested my head on his chest and wrapped my arms around him. Neither of us spoke again, separating several minutes later to go about our chores.

oOo

Later that week we were drinking coffee on the porch swing, wrapped up in each other as we stared up at the stars. I felt the way his shoulders shook lightly as he cried, and my heart broke for the millionth time. I didn't address it; I didn't know what to say. He'd made it clear he was leaving, and I didn't feel like I had the right to try to change his mind. He held me tighter, his chin on my head as his tears dried up. The night was noisy, cicadas buzzing and bullfrogs calling to each other. Sorrow rose up to drown me, but I shoved it back down. It wouldn't do me any good now.

Our time during the day was devoted to the property, as always. Our nights, though, were spent tangled together in my bed. My back arched off the mattress, moaning in anticipation of what was to come as Edward slid down my trembling body. His tongue roamed as I panted, finally finding where I was wettest and stroking his tongue over me. I gripped his hair as my hips involuntarily bucked against his face. It was indescribable, exquisite pain mixed with the overwhelming pleasure. It built until it collapsed, leaving me breathless and quivering. Immediately he moved up, his hands touching my nipples while I cried out for him.

"Edward, I _need_ you."

"I'm here, Bella." He pushed inside me, his breathing as harsh as if he'd plowed a field. He always started off moving slowly until he was positive he wasn't hurting me, and then he'd let loose and pound his hips into mine. It didn't seem to bother him anymore that he was often quick to finish. I'd assured him plenty that I couldn't care less. He was incredibly tender and thoughtful with me, and I simply relished the time we were intimate.

We slept close each night, one part of ourselves constantly touching the other. We were all too aware that our time together was ending, and we cherished what we had left.

oOo

Time was slipping away from us. He only had one week left, and I struggled with getting my chores done. I wanted to curl around Edward and never bother with the sunlight again. She had turned into a cruel mistress, reminding me day in and day out that the world would keep revolving regardless of my pain.

Time went by in lurches and bumps. Mornings were quick paced, while afternoons dragged. The need to be near each other meant nothing was being accomplished except the very necessities. We talked instead, about Edward's childhood and his father's expectations of him. The pressure he'd always felt to be faster, smarter, better. Perfect. True, it had molded him into an outstanding man, but at what cost? He felt distanced from his family, like their love was conditional. He admitted that he felt different here, content to not be under pressure. He discovered he enjoyed the physical labor and the payoff that eventually came from a well-tended garden or a gently cared for animal. He was comfortable here, settled in his soul, but conflicted about his obligations. I couldn't make his decisions for him, despite the nagging urge to beg him to stay.

On the last day, we fed the chickens, gathered their eggs, milked the cows and talked about whether I had the money to buy an electric butter churn. We cleaned the horse stalls and fed them, checking in on Lucy.

We went inside, eating chicken salad sandwiches that Edward made from leftovers. We remained in silence, neither speaking of what was to come. We sat in the living room an hour before the taxi was due to arrive. I realized there were things I needed to tell him before he went.

"Nobody has ever been as kind to me, as respectful to me, as you are. Not since my mother, has anyone cared about my feelings. You lightened my load around here, but it was so much more than that. It's a level of caring that I'm not used to, and I want to say thank you."

"All I did was listen to you. What you said, and what you were afraid to say. I care because I'm compassionate. I was taught to pull my own weight, and you were doing the work of three people. I didn't want you to serve me on top of that. I'm really proud of you and what you've accomplished."

His words clawed at my knotted heart. I buried my face in his shirt and cried. "You have to leave soon."

"Yes."

He pulled me into his lap and kissed me softly, and I knew this would be our last time. I had been tempted more than once to stop taking my birth control. A tiny Edward would have given me some hope, something to cling to, but it would have been foolish. Resolved to send him off properly, I pulled at his shirt until he took it off. When we were both undressed, I pushed him back onto the couch and straddled his lap. His breath stuttered and I moved slowly, kissing him and looking directly into his eyes the entire time. I hoped he saw love, admiration, and respect. When I couldn't hold the tears at bay, he kissed them from my cheeks. As my emotions overcame me, my legs tensed around his and I held on tightly, feeling his release shortly after mine.

Knowing I had to move and actually being able to were two different things. Only the thought of his cab arriving soon made me stand and go to my room to clean up and redress. Edward bounded up the stairs, and I wondered if that was the last time I'd hear heavy footsteps over my head and the creak of the water pipes as the shower came on.

When he made it back to the living room, we silently stepped out onto the porch, Edward carrying his bag to set at the top of the steps. I wrapped my arms around him and held on, knowing I'd never fit more perfectly anywhere else than I did in his arms. The breeze blew, and I spotted the puffs of dirt created by an oncoming car. Edward kissed my forehead and picked up his bag, walking down the porch steps and into the driveway as the faded yellow vehicle approached. Nothing was said, there were no tears left in my eyes. My windchimes clanged cheerfully as my stomach seized up. I didn't wave, simply clutched my arms around my waist and held my chin high as my love disappeared in a cloud of dust.

* * *

 **I have fond memories of my grandma making apple butter, and then she would make hand pies and fill them with the apple butter before frying them. A southern girl's dream snack.**

 **I realize that some of you might be wondering what in the world frog jam is, so I thought I would include a recipe. It stands for Fig-Raspberry-Orange-Ginger. I've even seen a toe jam** — **Tangerine-Orange-Elderberry.**

 **oOo**

 **F.R.O.G. Jam recipe:**

(Makes 5-6 half pints of jam)

4 cups fresh figs

½ cup orange juice

2 ½ cups fresh raspberries

1 tsp fresh ginger, peeled

1 ½ cups granulated sugar

3 Tbs low sugar pectin

1 Tbs fresh lemon juice

 ***** For hoppin' frog jam, add one seeded and chopped jalapeño

 **Directions:**

~In a blender, purée figs with orange juice until smooth.

~Add raspberries and ginger and blend until combined.

~Pour mixture into a large pot and add sugar and pectin.

~Bring mixture to a boil over medium heat and boil gently, stirring occasionally, until thickened.

~While fruit is cooking, place jar lids in a saucepan of water and simmer. Get jars and lids ready and have a large pot of water heating on the stove.

~Fill each jar, leaving ½ an inch headspace, and then place a lid and a ring on the jars.

~Process jars in a water bath for 12 minutes.

~Remove from canner and let sit untouched until the jars have cooled and the lids have popped.


	10. Chapter 10

**You love Bella for her strength, and I wouldn't have her any other way, even alone.**

* * *

Everything was the same the next morning. I didn't know what I expected, but there was nothing dramatic going on at my humble ranch. The night had been difficult; I used to relish being alone, bask in it, even. Now it was lonely and strange. My bed was cold and I missed having Edward pressed up against me. The breakfast table was too quiet, the horses too solemn. Rusty wandered aimlessly, probably looking for his friend. His dark, droopy eyes looked up at me despondently.

"He's gone, buddy," I whispered in the pre-dawn light.

I'd gotten up entirely too early, but there was no use staying in bed when I wasn't sleeping. The sun hadn't quite breached the flat edge of the earth visible from my porch. I used to think that was the end of the world, right there at the edge of my fallow fields. Course, that was back when I had ridiculous thoughts and dreams, when I was a child with two parents and the universe at my fingertips.

Sighing, I moved on to the chickens, went through my routine and tried to push all thoughts from my mind. I had a few men coming today to interview for the position of ranch hand. I wasn't sure if I could sustain the salary required to keep someone out of poverty, but I was going to do my best to ensure that I continued making money. With what Michael and Jess were suggesting at their store, and if I could take the time to can and bake like I used to as a teenager, I would have a decent income from that. If I bought the electric butter churn, I could sell butter. That wasn't exactly scarce in our town, since every rancher around was smart enough to have their own dairy cows, but I could try going a town or two over. Emmett had been successful selling it at the auction with the steers.

Seth was the man I'd chosen to work for me, because he was about ten years older than me with a wife and children he was trying to support. His wife made quilts and sold them at craft fairs around the county. Seth had previously been a mechanic, but his right hand had been crushed in a freak accident involving a friend's car falling on him while he did him a favor. Seth had been out of work for too long and unable to find a repair shop of any kind to hire him, so he'd decided to answer my ad. I was grateful he did. His personality was light and happy, and he worked hard. Occasionally he required help with opening anything smaller than a doorknob; his hand was still healing. Other than that, he was quick to jump into work and didn't need me to follow him around making sure he did what I asked.

It started growing colder on my piece of the prairie, my breath revealed with each exhale in the mornings. Since I insisted on feeding my animals before myself, Seth usually arrived while I was finishing up my breakfast. I'd argued with him over it, insisted he come a little later, but in his subtle way he'd ended the conversation with a nod of acquiescence and simply showed up at the same time the next day. I'd taken to drinking the last of my coffee on the porch swing as Seth moved around in my peripheral vision, collecting eggs and storing them, moving in and out of the horse barn to work on their stalls and check on Lucy. I enjoyed taking her out to check on the property and give her exercise. Seth seemed to take to Maria quickly, which was interesting to me since she was not typically friendly to strangers.

That just reminded me of Edward, and the way we'd ridden together on Lucy and Maria. I hadn't wanted to scare him with cantankerous Maria and gave him gentle Lucy instead. She was the perfect horse for his nature and she would give me a little one of hers… eventually. It would feel like a lifetime had passed by the time she birthed that foal. I had too much of the future to worry on, to plan and work through, to let the gnawing anxiety over Edward bug me for too long. I pushed him aside during the daylight hours, only to bring him out like my favorite book in the late evenings when I was completely exhausted but unable to sleep. That was when I would picture his sweet smile and those green eyes that looked at me as though he could read my thoughts. His soft hands that first day when I had to bandage the chicken pecks that quickly turned callused and rough under daily labor. I thought about the things we'd learned together in my bed, the way the ridges on his fingertips made me feel things I'd never known possible. His face was etched in my memory, and I could sigh over his handsomeness whenever I wanted. It was probably pathetic, but it sustained me on those long, lonely nights.

The colors around me were subtly changing. The trees were going from green to golds and burgundies, the fields were all honeyed and waiting for their next planting. Apples were abundant, and Seth and I picked them every day. I cooked more than I had in a long time. At Seth's suggestion, I'd gotten a few crock pots to cook my apples in to make it easier for me. I didn't have to keep an eagle eye on them and worry they would burn. My corn was done growing for the season, but I had plenty canned. I had a small field of winter squashes that were getting round and fat for me to harvest in the next month or so.

Life moved on.

I went to church with Jess and Mike and their children. I didn't feel moved by the Holy Spirit or whatever I was supposed to feel. God had forsaken me a long time ago as far as I was concerned, but I was interested in finding peace and a relationship with Him again. It would take time.

After church was social time for the Newton's. They typically made a huge lunch and had an open invitation to whoever wanted to join them. Rose and Emmett often showed up, as well as Jasper and Alice. Jasper—who once intimidated me with keen eyes that followed me around—was becoming a close friend. He was quiet, observant, and one afternoon I spilled my feelings for Edward. In his laid back style, he told me it made perfect sense to him that I would feel the need to let Edward go back to his own life. Jasper didn't pry into anything about what I'd done with Edward over the summer, just assured me that I was not crazy for missing him.

Seth and his wife, Vera, visited my house one Sunday. She was shorter than I was, with abundant curves and a loving personality. She immediately offered me a quilt at no charge and told me she tended to keep some in the trunk of her car if I wanted to peruse them. She thanked me for hiring Seth when nobody else would and ignored my attempts to tell her I was the lucky one. I liked her immensely, even though she was a bit loud. They had a boy, Eric, who appeared to be around ten years old, and a girl named Emily that was about six. Vera confided in me that she was expecting again and was planning how to tell Seth that she wasn't going through menopause but pregnancy. She laughingly said she needed help with another _E_ name, because Earnest was out of the picture.

Building relationships, enjoying my free time, and creating a small business for myself was bittersweet. I wanted to share my joys with Edward, big and small. I wanted to complain a little when my back hurt, to tell him the ornery chicken that kept pecking him had died. My highs and lows were going unshared, uncelebrated. It was lonely, but I was still happier than I had been in fifteen years. I was living the life I thought I would live after my husband passed away, and I couldn't complain about that. Fond memories were just that, memories. I wouldn't disrupt my life over memories of the best summer of my life.

I was feeding the dog his dinner when I heard a car come down the road. The overgrown hedgerows hid what was coming, and the sun was still bright as it set, causing me to shade my eyes with my hand. Seth came to stand near me as the car turned down my driveway.

"Were you expectin' anybody, Miss Bella?" he asked.

"No," I said quietly, too afraid to hope.

We stood still as the dust kicked up and obscured the driver, but I finally saw that it was a yellow cab. My heartrate picked up speed and my breathing accelerated. I blindly thrust out a hand and grabbed the nearest porch rail.

"No," I breathed, this time in disbelief.

I was still standing there when he stepped out of the taxi and handed the driver a wad of cash. He walked toward the porch with his bag thrown over his shoulder, and my hand covered my mouth as the tears poured down my face. His red hair was blowing in the wind, just a tad too long on the top. His lean body was clad in jeans and a long sleeved shirt that hugged his muscles. He was coming closer to the house, closer to _me_ , and I knew with sudden clarity that he had chosen me.

I rushed down the steps and slammed into him before he took another step, and he dropped his bag to wrap his arms around me as he lifted me off the ground and laughed as he spun us round and round.

"Oh, Edward. You came back!" A lifetime of weight fell off my shoulders as his scent overwhelmed me, the feel of his arms enveloped me, and I knew that he would never leave again.

"I came back. I came back for you, and for the ranch." He stopped spinning and kissed me. "I love you, Bella, and I hope you love me, too."

"I love you so much," I admitted in a choked voice. "I've been dying without you."

"I know the feeling," he murmured, kissing me again. He looked up. "Is that the new hand?" He lifted his chin toward Seth.

"Yes. He has a wife and two kids that live in town. His name is Seth, and he's the only thing that's kept me sane these past two months."

"I'm glad you got a good one," he admitted, smiling as he looked into my eyes.

"Oh, you have no idea how much I missed you." I buried my face in his neck, my favorite place to be, and I finally felt calm.

He replied, "I found my home in the last place I expected; on fifteen hundred acres in the middle of nowhere, Oklahoma. With you."

My head was floating away, so light and happy with the way I was feeling. I needed to show him the changes I'd made, tell him of the things I'd been doing and the people I'd met. I needed him to see Rusty, to see Lucy, but not one of those things mattered right then and there. I looked up into his eyes, saw the love I'd never allowed myself to witness before, and grinned.

"Seth, you can go ahead and take off."

He laughed loudly, and I blushed but didn't care. Edward chuckled and kissed the tip of my nose.

"I'll happily meet your young man tomorrow, but not too early," he assured me as he ambled toward his truck.

"I love him already," Edward whispered in my ear as he leaned down and took a deep breath in. "You smell the same, but more cinnamony."

"I've been baking all day. Oh, I have so many things to tell you."

"So do I." His lips touched the side of my neck and I felt my insides clench in response. "Later, though."

"Much later," I huffed out as I went breathless.

The trip into the house was full of stumbling as we tried to maneuver the steps and the door. I laughed as I bumped into the doorframe and Rusty pushed past my feet to get to his bowl. Edward's mouth never left my skin, kissing any place he could find uncovered by my sweater. As soon as the front door closed, I attacked the waistband of his jeans, fumbling for the button and zipper. He tripped over the edge of the rug when I pushed my hands into the open placket and wrapped my hands around him.

" _Fuck_."

I loved when he talked dirty, and it was only when I was touching him that I saw that side of him. "Edward," I moaned when his palm found my breast. "God, this sweater needs to go," I grumbled, pulling back and yanking it off.

He gave me a funny smile and smoothed a hand down my braid. "It was beautiful on you. Anything you wear is beautiful." His deft hands unclasped my bra and dropped it on the floor of the living room as he backed me to the kitchen. "You're so much more beautiful without any clothes on."

My temperature surely rose another hundred degrees at his words and the look on his face. His jeans were riding low on his hips, and I got a good look at the trail of hair that ran down from his navel. "Naked, Edward. _Now_ ," I demanded.

His smile turned into a smirk as he pulled his shirt off and kicked out of his shoes. We were continuously moving, my small house feeling like a mansion as it took entirely too long to reach my bedroom. I would just jump him in my kitchen, but I had pies and jars sitting around that I didn't want to ruin. We went past the back door where my shoes were dumped, down the short hall where we both dropped our pants, and finally into my room where our underwear was kicked to the side. I didn't even look at what I grasped, I simply touched Edward everywhere while I stared into the deep green eyes I thought I'd never see again. His hands kept stroking down my hair, pulling out the band I'd tied my braid with and messing it up. I knew he loved my hair, and something about that turned me on more.

Like I could possibly have been turned on more just then.

Edward's hands cupped my backside as I bumped into the bed, and we fell together to the mattress. My legs went around his waist and he sank inside me with nothing else stopping us. His forehead fell to mine as we both moaned, and I held him so tightly to me that I wasn't able to breathe fully. Tears of happiness leaked from the corners of my eyes as he moved, thrusting smoothly in and out of my body. Pleasure that not even an hour ago would I have ever expected to experience again hit me hard, and I cried out against his shoulder. My mouth latched on to that spot, kissing and sucking and wishing I could truly bring him inside myself and never let him go.

It didn't take him long to come, pressing his hips into mine and holding himself up on his arms. I pulled on his shoulders until he sprawled on top of me, and I enjoyed the feel of his weight.

"Are you sure I'm not crushing you?" His breath ruffled my tangled hair as he spoke against my head.

I hummed and ran my hands down his back. "In the best way."

Edward breathed heavily for a minute before shifting off of me and plopping next to me on the bed. We weren't even halfway up from the bottom, so when I stretched my legs out they dangled over the end.

"I'm staying," he declared with defiance as he stared at me intently.

"Please do. I'd hate to think you travelled all this way to hit it and quit it."

He laughed loudly, shaking the bed. "I missed you so damn much."

I scooted closer, kissing his cheek. "I know. I missed you, too."

His eyes closed and his breathing slowed, and I wondered how long he'd been awake or if he'd become an insomniac like me. I crawled off the bed to clean up in the bathroom and returned to find him frowning in his sleep. I hadn't thought it possible for my heart to fill with any more love for him, but it did. Edward was here to stay, and anything other than that could be worked out later. I pulled one of Vera's quilts from the chest at the foot of the bed and draped it over him, then climbed underneath and tucked myself as closely to his warm body as I physically could. I watched his brow smooth out as I cuddled in close, and let sleep claim me.

* * *

 **I couldn't drag it out, even though at first I intended to give her an entire chapter to herself. When the words wouldn't come, I realized why. She needed her Edward to come back to her.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Sexy time gifs are on the blog.**

* * *

His fingertips trailing over my face woke me up. I felt whole again, fully at peace and rested for the first time since he left two months ago. Hooded eyes were gazing at me as I blinked to clear the lingering sleep and reassure myself he was here, naked, in my bed.

"Hey," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"Hey, yourself."

His index finger continued its path around my mouth, across my forehead, and down around my ear until he was cupping the back of my neck and pulling me toward him for a kiss. It was slow and languid, and it made my toes curl.

He rested his forehead against mine when he pulled away. "We have so much to talk about."

"Not until I feed you, please."

A smile lit up his eyes. "If you insist."

"I do."

Instead of getting out of bed, he put his arms around me and hugged me close. "And after we eat and talk, we're coming back here."

I hummed happily and kissed his throat. "If you insist," I echoed.

He grinned and smacked my butt, making me yelp and jump off the bed.

We had to have a scavenger hunt for our clothes, and I noticed Edward couldn't stop touching me as we moved around my house. He would bump into me with his hip, brush my arm with his elbow, or help me into my clothing. I understood the need to be assured I wasn't going to disappear in a puff of smoke.

My kitchen was full of pies and jams, and I smiled as his eyes went huge. "Wow, you have been busy."

"Yes, I have. The Newton's are now selling my jams in their store, and the pies are starting on a trial basis. So far I've made apple and apple/pear; they're pretty popular. I bring them everything I have ready to sell on Sundays. The pies were sold out by Tuesday last week, so I made more this week."

His arms came around me from behind, his chin on top of my head. "They look beautiful, like you've made a work of art out of them."

I flushed and found his hands with my own to hold him to me. "The jam is flying off the shelf, Edward. It's amazing."

He was silent for a minute, and I wondered what he was thinking. He squeezed me before letting go and turning me to face him. "I could help you make professional labels if you want."

"That would be nice. It would make it a collaboration, just like everything else we'll do here."

He watched me silently, and I could tell there was a lot on his mind. I urged him to sit while I made us dinner, frying up some chicken I'd soaked overnight in buttermilk. I was planning to treat myself tonight and take the rest to the Newton's tomorrow, but it seemed like a perfect way to welcome him home. I chatted about the farm, telling him about Lucy's progress and how happy Rusty would be to have him back. I told him how Seth had come to be my hand, and about his wife and kids.

Canned corn and collards from my fields, biscuits, and fried chicken were weighing down my small table when we sat to eat. Edward had made a pitcher of sweet tea, and it brought back memories of teaching him how. It didn't take him long to eat most of what I served him, and then words just started flowing out of his mouth.

"I was miserable without you, you know. I tried to do my job, I was even promoted, but sitting in an office setting from nine to five was not me. It was lonely and boring and I hated it. I couldn't face my parents, knowing that the only reason I was staying in Seattle was to make them happy. I wasn't happy, but that didn't matter, right? As long as I lived up to their expectations, that was the only important thing in their minds. When I finally realized I had to come back or choke on the life I was living, I had a serious talk with them. I didn't tell them we had been together, just that I wanted a life being a rancher. I told my father that I didn't care how it came about, even if it meant starting as a hand for you. We had some ugly words, I'll admit, but surprisingly my mom was on my side for a change. I guess she'd seen how bad it was for me after I came back, and she told my dad off for the first time in her marriage. Told him I should be allowed to choose my own life. Dad threatened to cut me off from the family, but Mom said it would be over her dead body."

He gulped in air, then swallowed most of his tea. I refilled his glass and sat back down, watching the expressions on his face. He was relieved to have said it, wary of my reaction, but satisfied with his choice.

"I'm glad you have your mother's support. I know you said they only wanted you to follow in their footsteps and didn't care about anything else, but maybe that's the only way they knew to raise you. I am sorry your father doesn't understand." I looked out the small window over the sink, watching treetops waving in orange and russet. "It chooses you, this life. If you had never tried it, you never would have known. Some of us have the land in our blood, in our bones, and there's nothing we wouldn't do for it." I looked back at him, happy to see the lightness return in his eyes.

"I knew you would understand. I couldn't explain it properly to a businessman who never wears anything less formal than a suit and tie. He didn't know what I meant when I said the prairie calls to you. The wind blows, and you smell your future in those fields. It's everything." He got out of his chair and knelt by mine, so I swiveled in my seat to face him. "You're everything. Promise me that you'll always love me, even if it's second to the land?"

I laughed a little, wiped away a tear, and leaned over to kiss him. "I promise."

"Good, because one of the things I intend to do here is make you my wife."

I choked, finding it hard to believe he meant that already. "Edward, maybe you should live here for a little while before you propose."

He laughed. "I'll give you five minutes, but then I'm asking again."

Oh, hell, who was I kidding? He'd given up a cushy job, financial stability, and everything he could have wanted to be with me, where he'd have to work hard to make ends meet and rarely have what he needed without first saving up for it. He steadied his hands on my thighs as I threw my arms around his neck and rained kisses on his face. "You're crazy for wanting me, and probably foolish for what you've given up, but I need you by my side."

"Then you have me," he promised. "Wild horses couldn't drag me away."

"Finish your dinner. We have things to do." I winked so he would understand what I meant.

"Yes, we do, Miss Bella." He tried for a twang, and I could only laugh. He was all city boy.

That thought sobered me right up and doubt came creeping in. "Soon, Edward, you'll miss city life and everything it has to offer. There aren't any restaurants that deliver out here, there aren't any stores five minutes down the road. Everything has to be grown, crafted, or created from scratch. Otherwise, you save your pennies and make a trip to town, which is farther away than you'd think. There's times you won't see other people for days. The only company is cows and chickens."

I'd worked myself up in my agitation, and tears were forming at the corners of my eyes. Edward cupped my face in his hands and kissed me softly to shut me up. "There's you. You're all the company I need on a daily basis. And there's Seth, and you've made friends again. They can be my friends. I like the chickens and the cows, and the horses, and the dog. I liked making things from scratch, coaxing life from the ground with nothing more than seeds and water and faith. I know what I chose, Bella. I chose you, and I chose this life that you love. So don't disparage it now, because you can't scare me off."

"I don't want you to ever regret your choices." My voice trembled and broke as I said the words. "You're the only person that has the power to break me. If you changed your mind, if you left again—"

"I won't. I've come all this way to be here with you. Don't doubt yourself, or my love for you." He brushed my hair away from my face and kissed me again.

He was right. I was emotional with his return, my imagination conjuring up the worst. I couldn't bear it if he left again. It would truly crush me.

"I love you," I whispered. It throbbed in my chest, bigger than my body could contain.

"I know you do. I can see it on your face."

He scooped me out of the chair, hoisting me awkwardly into his arms. I laughed so loudly when he stumbled into my room that he shushed me. "It's not been that long since you've been gone. Where has all your strength gone?"

"Shut it, woman," he grumbled, and I laughed some more.

He was slow to undress me this time, pressing his mouth on each newly revealed portion of flesh. My eyes rolled back in my head as he sucked on my neck, and I started grasping for his hips so I could touch him, too. When he'd peeled away every layer I'd managed to put back on, he turned me around so my back was to his chest. His hands worked over my breasts, touching and teasing.

"I want to…" he trailed off as he walked me closer to the bed. His breath was on my neck as he spoke again. "Is this okay?"

I'd give him just about anything in that moment. "Yes."

Edward pushed on my shoulder, and I understood what he wanted without him saying it out loud. I leaned over and rested my arms on the quilt. "God, Bella," he murmured.

His hands roamed over my backside and then I felt him there, hard and seeking. I cried out as he pushed into me. Despite being more experienced than he, this was new for me. His hands were on either side of my waist as he moved inside me. His length was rubbing me in just the right way, and I didn't know how I could withstand the pleasure. My moans and cries became entirely incoherent as he sped up until the front of his legs were hitting the backs of mine.

When he stopped moving, it was so sudden that I was surprised. Hands on my shoulders pulled me to stand with him, and he didn't pull out or back away. "No doubts, Bella," he said into my ear.

He moved slowly, and I didn't know what to say. It was like he was made for me in every way. "Never," I found myself promising him. I would never doubt that he loved me or that he'd chosen me.

His hands went back to my breasts and I found I was done for after a few tweaks to my nipples. My legs trembled and then went tight and rigid. "Oh God!"

Edward stilled against me, my name softly falling from his lips. I shuddered at the sensations and went lax in his arms. He kissed my shoulder, my neck, and my cheek. When he pulled out he turned me in his arms, holding me close and running his hands down my hair.

"I want to marry you. I want to give you everything you never had before. Whatever you want, it's yours."

"Just you," I said into his chest, then lifted my head to look up into his face. "Just you, every minute from now on."

He hugged me tightly to him again. "As long as you don't follow me into the bathroom," he said.

He made me laugh, and I knew that he would do as he said. He would give me anything I asked of him, but I merely wanted a happy home, full of love, friendships, and laughter. Forever.

* * *

 **Rest assured that I have at least a few more chapters for these two, despite the ending lines sounding like the finale.**


	12. Chapter 12

**I want you all to know that I love every time one of you tells me this story makes your day better. I enjoy hearing that a crappy day was turned around because of a teaser or an update. I love that some of you relate to Bella or wish you had a young man like Edward in your life. Know that I hear you, and I feel you. I might not convey my appreciation adequately when I respond to your reviews, because I'm pressed for time or because I am at a loss for the proper words. For all the beauty and magic or whatever you want to call it that I can create in a story, I can't ever express myself in a way that is more profound than thank you. Thank you for taking the time to tell me, because I can't describe how good it feels to know that I'm doing something worthwhile. Words are important, and that goes both ways. You warm my heart with your words of gratitude and appreciation.**

 **Now let's meet the parents.**

* * *

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen were coming to my home. There was no doubt in my mind that they were going to judge my ranch and me, and they were going to give Edward a hard time for wanting to live here. I was sure he would tell them he was in love and wanted to marry me, and they would tell him his decisions were ruled by his dick. It was what I would have said to my child if they suddenly wanted to give up a stable job in the family business to go live in a city they knew nothing about after only a few months working on a ranch with a widow who became his lover.

A flush rose to my cheeks as I threw chicken feed on the ground. Would they take one look at me and know what I'd done with their son? What he'd done to me? Would it be written all over my face, obvious and unavoidable?

The hens cluck-clucked around me, happy in their little world. I lifted the back wall of their house to check the nests. They had extra straw for keeping warm, but most of them were empty this late in the day since I'd pulled a half dozen eggs this morning.

My thoughts went back to the Cullens. I was only a few years younger than them. They were in their early forties, barely ten years older than me. Edward had continually told me not to panic, but how could I not? He'd finally sent me outside for fresh air, as he put it, but I figured I was driving him crazy. He was going over our finances after he'd uploaded everything to his laptop. Having internet out here was foreign as all hell to me. I'd never even contemplated it before, but it made perfect sense. Edward had set up a website for my goods, and now I shipped all over the place. He had business cards sitting out in the Newtons' store near my jams and pies, inviting people to special order for gifts. It had sort of exploded from there, my little baking business. I didn't know if it was because my recipes really were better than anyone else's or because they were too tired at the end of a long day to want to make everything from scratch like they used to. My jams and pies had professional looking labels stuck to them, and I was thinking about trying to add to my inventory. My cellar could hold more, I just didn't know if I had enough time in the day. I was considering asking Vera if she wanted to join in this venture with me, adding her quilts to my country store-style website.

I heard a car horn and looked up, my heart in my throat. "Oh thank God." It was Rose, stepping out of her car looking like the definition of a country girl with her braided pigtails and jeans, the collar of her plaid shirt visible under her coat.

"Hey, Bella!" she called and waved.

I hugged the shit out of her when she got close enough. "Did Edward call you?"

"Yeah, he said you were going a little nuts and he didn't know what to do about it."

"What if they hate me, Rose? What if they berate him until he agrees to go back home? What if they guilt trip him and he realizes he's unhappy here?"

"And what if they see what you're building together, with the added business and the new animals? What if they see how he's expanded your income and makes you incredibly happy? What if they love you?"

I took an uneven breath. "Do you think they will?"

"Well, I don't know of anybody that doesn't like you. They might need a few minutes to warm up to you, but you'll do fine. Do you want me to wait until they've come and then I'll see myself out after the introductions?"

"I think I need the moral support." I bit my lip.

"Okay."

She and I checked over the horse's stalls, adding feed and straw. It was damn cold outside; the forecast was calling for snow by this evening. I needed to ensure my animals were well prepared before I could meet anybody's parents and worry about how they would receive me. I calmed as I stroked Lucy's widening midsection. She was looking ripe and her coat was gleaming.

By the time they actually arrived, I was on the back side of the dormant pumpkin patch and didn't even hear their approach. Thankfully, I had a foreman that was more perceptive than me.

"Miss Bella?" I heard him call.

"Yeah, Seth?" I called back as I spread more straw over the frozen ground from the wheelbarrow close to my side.

"You have visitors."

I dropped down into a squat. "Shit."

Rose laughed at me. "Come on, Bella. Time to meet the in-laws."

I squeezed my eyes shut. "They're not my in-laws yet."

"Yet."

I sighed, then pushed myself off my knees. I was an adult and I would act like one. I clapped my gloves together to knock off the worst of the dirt and pulled them off, tucking them in my back pocket as I walked toward the driveway. It still wasn't paved, but at least the dust wasn't bad this time of year. There was a sedate looking four door car parked next to Rosalie's, and a couple standing there talking to Seth. The man was tall, wearing a long overcoat over slacks. The woman was in pants and a… good God, was that a fur coat?

"What the hell?" Rose whispered.

"Is that really fur?" I whispered back.

She shot me an incredulous look.

The front door opened as we neared the porch, and I was never more grateful for Edward's timing. He came down the porch steps as Rose and I rounded the side of the house, and he paused so we could meet up with him to walk down the driveway toward his parents. His hand brushed mine, linking our pinkies.

"Relax," he said quietly.

Yeah, easier said than done, pal.

"Mom, Dad."

They looked up from chatting with Seth and smiled at Edward. She was more open and friendly in her posture and expression, while he was more closed off. Not surprising.

"I see you met our foreman, Seth. This is Bella Swan," he continued as we drew close enough to shake hands. "And this is our friend and neighbor Rosalie McCarty. My parents, Carlisle and Esme Cullen."

"Ms. Swan." Mrs. Cullen was the first to offer a hand. Hers were cool and smooth when we shook, and I cringed inwardly at how callused mine must have felt to her.

"It's just Bella, please."

Mr. Cullen held his hand in my direction, so I took it. He touched me briefly before dropping his hand and slipping it into his pocket. Undeterred, I smiled brightly at them. "Would you like to come in out of the cold?"

"Yes, thank you," Mrs. Cullen replied.

"Did you get checked in to the bed and breakfast?" Edward asked as we trooped toward the porch.

I let them all proceed me so I could have a word with Seth. "Are you coming in, or would you like to leave for the day?"

"Oh, I have one or two last things to do before I leave for the day, Miss Bella."

I realized that he was the same age as the Cullens, and yet he seemed so much younger. "Don't stay too late."

He smiled at me and wandered off, and I headed inside the house to face the parents. They were standing in my living room, which made it feel so crowded. Unlike harvest time, where everyone made themselves at home and nobody was afraid to sit on the floor, this felt awkward and stilted.

"Would you like coffee?" I offered as I removed my coat and hung it on the hall tree near the door. I pulled off my muddy boots and slipped into the house shoes I always left sitting there.

"Bella has pie, if you'd like. She always has pie." I smiled at Edward gratefully.

"I'll help," Rose offered.

As Rose and I moved into the kitchen, I heard them speaking quietly behind me. It occured to me that no one had actually agreed to coffee and pie, but I needed to escape. As soon as we were out of view, I spun to Rose. "They're so cold!"

"I noticed." It was clear I didn't mean the weather.

"They're out there looking down their noses at everything I have."

I started the coffeemaker as Rose dished up pie. "They do seem to be, but this place has been in your family for generations. It's small because of the year it was built, that's all."

"Thanks for trying to make me feel better. I hope they don't want to stay for dinner. I don't know where they'd sit."

Rose laughed. "Ramrod straight on the edge of the understuffed wing backs."

I snickered, then glanced at the doorway to make sure they were still talking. "Don't leave me," I said in a low but desperate tone to Rose.

She patted my shoulder. "Sorry, sweets. I have to go feed my littles and you have to make nice to Mr. Freeze and Elsa."

"Turncoat." I handed her a pie to take home with her.

She smiled and kissed my cheek before slipping out the back door. I suppressed a sigh and brought the coffee tray in to the living room. I set it down on the coffee table and went back for the pie.

"We were hoping for a recommendation on where to eat," Mr. Cullen said to his son as I rejoined them. They hadn't removed their coats, but they had sat down. In exactly the manner Rose suggested they would.

"There's a diner in town that has good homemade food," Edward replied.

"Oh. Would there be anything… more upscale than that?" Mrs. Cullen asked somewhat tactfully.

Edward shook his head. "I told you ahead of time what to expect."

"You're right. The diner will be fine. I wouldn't want to impose on you for the evening. We can come back tomorrow after we're properly rested, if that's okay?" Mrs. Cullen glanced at me. I nodded.

"Please, stay for a few minutes and have coffee and pie," Edward answered.

"If you insist." Mrs. Cullen, who had not offered for me to call her by her first name, took the plate I offered and handed it to her husband. He took it reluctantly. I handed her a mug, and she passed it off as well. Mr. Cullen looked like he didn't know what to do with any of it, and I tried not to roll my eyes. I passed more coffee and more plates of pie until only one was left. I stuffed a forkful into my mouth for something to do. The silence was killing me.

It didn't take long before I heard poorly suppressed moans. I didn't look up from my plate, but I grinned despite myself. My pie was damn good, and they couldn't deny it no matter how snooty they were.

"Bella."

I looked up at the gentle voice, surprised that Mrs. Cullen was addressing me directly. "Yes?" I had to clamp my lips closed to cut off the 'ma'am' that almost followed.

"That was exquisite."

I grinned. I know. "Thank you."

"Bella's pies sell faster than anything else she makes," Edward boasted. "Her spiced apple/pear is the top seller."

I warmed at his praise and gazed at him lovingly until a throat cleared behind me. The warmth turned to the fires of Hell as embarrassment swamped me.

"I agree with Esme. The pie is delightful."

It was probably the most I could expect from him, so I turned to face Mr. Cullen. "I appreciate it. I have more, if you'd like to take some with you."

"Ah, perhaps tomorrow we could have more. I don't believe there's any room to store pie at the B and B," Esme answered.

There was an uncomfortable few minutes while they stood, leaving their plates and mugs on the occasional tables and moving toward the front door. The late afternoon sun was already on its descent as they moved out onto the porch, me and Edward behind them. It was colder than it had been when we were out earlier, and when we cleared the roof of the porch I spotted the heavy clouds that would spell snow very soon.

"Be careful while you're out tonight. It's going to snow within the hour."

"We will, Bella. Thank you for your hospitality." Esme patted my arm and turned to Edward. "We'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye, Mom." He kissed her cheek and then moved to his dad, shaking his hand and telling him goodbye before Carlisle followed Esme to their car.

We dashed back into the warmth of the house. I kept walking, past the living room and the dirty dishes and into the kitchen, only stopping at the back door before spinning to face a silent Edward, who had trailed along behind me.

"Your dad wasn't very friendly."

"No."

"Jury's still out on your mom."

"I agree."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Do you really agree, or are you trying to keep the peace?"

He shrugged, his eyes meeting my gaze directly. "Maybe a little of both. Mom could have been nicer, but it wasn't a disaster. My dad tends to be aloof, so it wasn't a surprise he barely spoke to you."

I nodded. "Well, we have all day tomorrow with them. What the hell are we going to do?"

"I told you, they want a tour of the ranch."

I snorted. "Does Mrs. Cullen realize there's dirt on this ranch? That fur coat isn't going to look as nice covered in pig slop. And Mr. Cullen had on very shiny shoes," I continued, even as Edward put his arms around my waist and clasped his hands at the small of my back.

"I warned them to bring suitable clothing. If they ignored me, it'll be their problem."

"I guess." I sighed, leaning forward to rest my face on Edward's shirt. He smelled of pine-scented soap and coffee. I tilted my head up to look at his face. "Only for you would I go through this much stress at this point in my life."

"I know, and I appreciate you accepting them when they're a bit stubborn on accepting you." He kissed my forehead.

"I love that you're not afraid to show them you're proud of me. You have no idea how much that means to me."

"I am proud of you, and they should know it. Tomorrow we'll show them what we have to be proud of, and I'll tell them we're engaged." He stepped back a little to pull out the chain I wore under my shirt and against my heart. "This will take its proper place on your finger."

It was a silver band, intricately carved with intertwining leaves and a central heart. Having any gems out in the sometimes harsh conditions of my ranch was a bad idea, so we kept it sensible but still pretty. It would also serve as my wedding band, when we got around to saying I do. Edward's band was a slightly larger version of mine, still sitting at the store on layaway. There had been no words of poetry, just the simple request at my kitchen table before going to Buffalo to find a jeweler. He showed me how he felt when words failed him, though he was technically kneeling when he proposed.

"I can't wait to marry you, Edward."

He kissed the tip of my nose. "Soon enough we'll have the money for something small."

"Maybe we should run to the courthouse and find a judge."

He laughed at me. "My parents are here, they can witness."

I shook my head. "I'll wait for spring."

Edward had a way of enveloping me when he kissed me. He leaned over, curled around me, held me tightly in his arms and kissed me with his whole body. He left me gasping for air and wanting more.

"And then you'll be mine, Bella."

"I'm already yours." I pushed up on my toes to invite him to kiss me again, and he willingly obliged.

* * *

 **Fun fact; when I wrote the one shot, I looked up small towns in Oklahoma in order to find a county so that Bella could say, "Mama didn't mean to saddle me with the meanest son of a bitch to ever live in Harper County." There are five towns big enough to show up on the map in Harper County, and Buffalo is the county seat. When I search for restaurants, only three show up in the whole county. The town of Gate has 93 residents in total, and a Laurie's Café. This is pretty much the type of town where I envision them living. I've included the pictures I could find of the café and the only grocery store on the blog, along with the rings.**


	13. Chapter 13

**If you're curious, a 'weaner' is a pig that has recently been weaned from its mother.**

* * *

The next day went pretty much as I expected. The Cullens arrived just after breakfast dressed in designer jeans that looked like they'd been starched and pressed. Esme's coat wasn't fur, but it was an unfamiliar fabric that was really soft when she hugged me. I was pleased with her greeting and unwilling to begin the day on the wrong track, so I let go all of my preconceived ideas and acted like this wasn't a working ranch that had several things waiting to be done.

Seth had fed the animals that morning, but left the rest of their care for me to show the Cullens. Edward and I headed out to the new pen next to the horse barn, excited about our recent additions. We were lucky that the snow hadn't stuck, but it was especially muddy as a result.

"Are those pigs?" Esme asked with a wrinkle to her nose as we approached. They didn't smell too great, but they were cute little pink weaners.

"Yep," Edward answered with a grin. "And don't lean on that fence, it's electric."

"These are new. I've been wanting pigs for awhile, and I had enough money finally after the sales of my pies went through the roof."

"Whatever for?" Carlisle asked with a look of utter distaste. He stopped several feet shy of the pen.

"Oh, their benefits are numerous. They eat all our scraps and provide us with fertilizer. After a few months I'll move this pen down a ways and they'll have left me with a lovely space to garden in, already tilled and fertilized. When it's time for the butcher, they'll bring in a great income." Not that I would mention it to them, but the sale of one pig would pay for my upcoming wedding. The other two would occupy my freezers.

Esme nodded as I spoke as though she clearly understood every word. Well, maybe she did. She was more open to all of this than her husband was.

"Watch this," Edward said, and I rolled my eyes because I knew what was coming. "Jimmy Dean, sit."

The pig closest to him plopped its butt down like a dog following commands. I had to try hard not to giggle at the name he'd given the piglet.

"Good. Now lay." The pig obeyed, and I looked over to see one of the others following instructions, too.

"Look, Edward, Princess Pig is listening."

"Too bad Lord Pigsley never listens. You're first on the breakfast table, young man!"

Carlisle was definitely not impressed, so I moved on. "Do you like horses?"

"Yes, they're beautiful. May we see yours?" Esme said.

I smiled and led them into the barn. It was much warmer in there, due to the heaters and the horses themselves. It smelled pleasant because Seth had recently mucked all of the stalls. We stopped at each stall while I gave the horse's name and sex, and Esme really was pleased with them. She cooed at them like they were her grandbabies instead of my horses, and stroked their cheeks and shoulders, depending on which horse and how close they came. When Maria stuck her head over the stall door before we got close, Carlisle went off on his own to visit. I considered issuing a warning, but I decided to see what he would do if I didn't. When he wasn't acting superior or stiff, he wasn't a bad man. Maria huffed air through her nostrils and nodded a few times. Carlisle reached out a hand, and she made a low sound, but stood still with her head dipped. He scratched her on the poll and I knew she'd be his friend from then on.

"That's her favorite spot," I said as I came up beside them while he still scratched between her ears.

"She's an attractive animal," he commented.

"Yes, she is." He always sounded formal when he spoke, and I wondered for the hundredth time if it was because he was uncomfortable or just an ass.

"How long have you lived here, Ms. Swan?"

"It's Bella, please. I don't like reminders of my deceased husband, as he was a horrible human being."

"All right." His voice was low as he dropped his hand but didn't look at me. I spotted Edward and Esme spoiling Lucy across the aisle.

"I have lived here all my life. This farm has been in my family since this state was known as Oklahoma Territory."

"And you've run it on your own for how long?"

He wasn't looking at me as he questioned me, but at Maria. I noticed Edward was watching us, so I shook my head at him so he wouldn't interfere. "My father passed when I was a girl. I was ten. When I was seventeen, my mother was diagnosed with end-stage renal cancer. She panicked, assuming that the farm and house and myself would be turned over to the state if she died before I became a legal adult. She put an ad in the Buffalo Gazette, our county seat, asking for an eligible man to take care of her daughter and run the ranch." I took a deep breath in order to smile through my pain. "Unfortunately for me, the fifty-year-old man she married me to thought he had hit pay dirt with a young virgin and a profitable farm. He ran the farm into the ground. Hell, he ran me into the ground while he was at it."

"I apologize for bringing up bad memories." Carlisle glanced at me, but it was brief.

"Look, I understand that you're leery of what you don't understand, and why shouldn't you be? Your only son changed his life's goal without consulting you, and that has to affect you. But Edward wasn't happy in that life, Mr. Cullen. He gave it a try, and it didn't fit. My ranch may be another world than the one you're used to, but that doesn't make it any less valid. I worked myself to the bone before Edward came to help me over the summer. When he left, I had the money to hire help, to buy an electric butter machine, and to pay off all of the debts my late husband accrued. Everything you see here, I own it outright. I don't owe anybody anything, not money, and not explanations. And that includes you."

He finally faced me, and I could see that I'd angered him. "You don't know a thing about my son." The words were pushed out through teeth ground so tightly together it was a miracle his jaw didn't snap from the force.

My hands shook. "That's where you're wrong. I know that he's kind, and that he puts himself last, and that he works hard. I know that he got his work ethic from you, and that he has a brilliant mind for finances and anything else he sets it to. I know that he loves this land we're standing on as though it has been in his family for generations rather than mine. I know that he feels free here, like he has a purpose in life when he's working on this farm and expanding my side business with me. I know that he's proud of me, and that he—he—"

"I love her," Edward said. He raised my chin with his fingers and wiped away the tears that had cropped up.

"Hey," I said to him, because I didn't know what else to say. I hadn't even realized that he and Esme were standing with us now. Maria moved restlessly in her stall at the tension she felt.

" _Jesus_."

"Yeah, Dad, I knew you'd have some sort of ugly reaction. The thing is, I'm going to marry Bella." He was looking at me the entire time he spoke, his fingers still under my chin and moving tenderly.

"Edward, I think it's wonderful," Esme said with a bit of emotion clouding her voice.

"Of course you do," Carlisle muttered.

"Um, the chickens," I said, still looking up into Edward's eyes and realizing belatedly that I wasn't speaking in full sentences.

He chuckled. "Yes, they were next on the list." He looked over at his mother. "Unless you'd like a trail ride?"

"Oh, could we?" She sounded positively giddy.

"Absolutely," I told her, sniffing a little and breaking away from the intense look in Edward's eyes. I noticed that Carlisle was still staring a hole through my head, but if we had to spend the rest of their trip ignoring him, so be it.

Seth came into the barn like he'd been lurking outside and offered to saddle four horses for us. Rusty had been following him all day and ambled in to the barn behind him, only to plop down in a ray of sun shining on a pile of straw. Esme linked her arm through mine and walked me a few paces away.

"I'm so proud of you for standing up to my husband. Edward was telling me a bit of your story at the same time you were talking to Carlisle. I'm sorry I was a little standoffish yesterday, but I am so far out of my comfort zone, Bella. I admire what you've done here, and the work you put in every day."

"I appreciate that, Mrs. Cullen."

"Oh God, please call me Esme, or hell, even Mom."

I laughed a little crazily. "You're only a decade older than me. I don't think I can call you Mom."

She patted my arm. "Esme it is."

"Why don't I show you the chickens while Seth and Edward are saddling our horses? I need to collect their eggs."

"I would love that."

So I showed her how I lifted the back wall to expose the nests and collect any eggs that were there. I kept baskets near the coop to make the job easier, and she held one for me while I reached in. Esme wasn't keen on being pecked on the back of the hand, though I tried to reassure her the only hens I had currently were docile. The old biddy that had pecked Edward relentlessly the first time had passed away.

"And what do you do with them now? Take them into the house to the fridge?" she asked.

"No, fresh eggs don't require refrigeration. I can leave them on the counter in my egg skelter for the week. I use them every day for breakfast and in baking, so they don't have time to go bad."

"But…"

I could tell by the look on her face that she was confused and trying to figure out what to say. "Freshly laid eggs have a protective coating on them. As long as I don't wash them until I use them, they're safe. Store bought eggs have been power washed and sanitized, and that leaves room for bacteria to get in between the tiny pores on the shell. I have a holder that looks like a spiral so that the fresher eggs go in on the top, and when I choose an egg from the bottom, I know I'm getting the oldest egg first."

"Okay, um, thank you for explaining that to me."

I tried really hard not to laugh at her, but there she was in her fancy jacket and pressed jeans, sneakers with mud covering the logo that declared how expensive they were, and extensively styled and sprayed hairdo. Compared to my broken-in boots and black cargo pants—because I utilized the pockets, not because they'd ever been in style—my fleece-lined denim jacket and french braid, it was beyond clear she had never contemplated where her food came from. I also realized that laughing at her would put me on the same level as Carlisle, so I sobered up quickly.

"No problem. I know that it's not the sort of thing that's thought about unless you're a rancher."

The smile she gave me was my reward for being able to hold in my laughter.

Our ride was interesting. Edward rode Maria since he was officially a pro, and I rode Harley, the young colt I typically used to stud with my mares. Esme was on a gentle horse named Marshmellow, because he wasn't excitable in the slightest, and Carlisle rode a gelding that was getting up there in age. Carlisle sat stiff as a board in his saddle and ignored my warnings to loosen up his knees while we were simply ambling along. While good posture was helpful to avoid being sore, his knees were going to ache like a bitch when he dismounted Blaze. Esme listened with rapt attention to every word I uttered, lifting in the saddle when she went over a fallen branch. Edward and I stopped so we could move the good sized limb, but Esme had reached it before I saw it in time to stop. Marshmellow was going to keep right on going whether she wanted him to or not, so the least I could do was give a warning.

"Oh, honey, be careful!" Esme called as Edward and I bent at the knees to lift the log. I wasn't sure who she was speaking to, so I didn't reply.

When we had it up off the ground, one of us at each end, we walked it over to the trees that lined the path we were taking and dropped it. Esme watched our every interaction; for instance, the way Edward needed to help me back up in my saddle by placing his hands on my butt. Despite the fact that I had been riding since I was a little girl and mounting alone since I was seven, I loved that he helped me.

The longer we rode, the more Carlisle shifted in his seat. "Are you all right, Mr. Cullen?" I asked innocently. His rear end was probably on fire.

"Yes, thank you," he said politely. Esme had given him a tongue lashing while I had taken the eggs into the house. I'd heard them, or rather her, as I opened the back door to come back out.

"What did you say the acreage is, dear?" Esme asked as she looked at me.

"Fifteen hundred."

Carlisle groaned and then coughed to cover it up.

"Don't worry, Dad, we're not covering the entire ranch. You've only seen about ten acres."

Esme's eyes widened. "Really?"

"Yes." I nodded. "It is much bigger than what you've seen. There's a creek, fallow fields so that I can rotate my crops, pastures that I take the steers to for grazing, and training paddocks for the horses. I have a large enclosed field for the horses to roam, as well. We've truncated much of our chores today for your sake."

"You mean you do _more_ than what you've showed us?"

I smiled at Esme's incredulity. "Yes. Seth has been a great help. He's mostly worked with the horses, steers, and dairy cows for me today. He moved the steers out for grazing, there's fifty head currently. All of the heifers have to be milked or they get sore from full udders. The horses have been fed and watered for the morning, their stalls have been cleaned and given fresh straw, and Seth will be taking those that we aren't riding out to the field right about now for exercise. He fed the chickens and the pigs, and after lunch he'll either check my winter garden or make butter. After that we have to feed all the animals dinner and clean the stalls again."

"It's not even noon, Bella! He's done all of that?"

"Yeah, Mom, and Bella did it all alone before I came out for the summer. She and I did it over the summer, and then she and Seth handled it until I returned. There's also planting and harvesting; corn, wheat, and barley. She has an apple orchard and pear trees, a vegetable garden and some other fruit like figs and berries. She cans her own food, makes all of her meals from scratch, and now she makes jams and pies to sell."

Even Carlisle was looking at me like I had three heads. My face flamed. "What?"

"I just didn't understand the scope of it until now," Esme murmured, glancing at her husband.

"I tried to tell you," Edward said. "But I knew I would have to show you for you to fully understand."

No one had anything else to say as we headed back to the house for lunch. I hoped Carlisle would think about everything we'd showed him so far… and remove the stick he appeared to be impaled with.

* * *

 **Who's hoping** **Carlisle gets what's coming to him in the next chapter?**


	14. Chapter 14

I suppose I should have seen it coming, but it didn't occur to me until it was too late. When we all returned to the barn to hand our horses off to Seth, Carlisle tried to climb off Blaze by himself. The sight of him struggling to throw his leg over Blaze's neck was so undignified, but that wasn't what made me shout for him to stop and let someone help. His ankle was turned in the stirrup as he swung his other leg over the saddle horn, and as a result he got tangled and fell off. It wasn't simply him falling, which would have been bad enough. It was that he was near the entrance of the stalls, where puddles had formed after the snow melted. Carlisle ended up ass first in sloppy mud.

Edward laughed first. I couldn't find the humor in it at that point, though there would be plenty of time for that later when I thought back to what had happened. Esme laughed next, and I was surprised that she found it funny.

"Mr. Cullen!" I was quick to hop off Harley and hurry over to help Carlisle up, squatting and holding out a hand and trying to ignore the way he batted at it like it burned him. "Are you all right?"

"Just fine, thanks." Of course, his tone was anything but fine. It was obvious he was humiliated.

"Let me help you, for crying out loud." I reached for him once more.

"You've been enough help!" he shouted at me, and I recoiled, almost falling back on my own butt. "I wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for you!"

I scrambled to back away from him, my heart in my throat and my hands muddied and slippery. Flashes of cruel fists lashing out at me surfaced, and I whimpered. I didn't know what kind of a man he was when cornered and angry. I swallowed fiercely so that my voice would not tremble. "I would appreciate you not shouting at me."

Edward was off Maria and by my side at that point, and he helped me to my feet from the awkward crouch I'd ended up in. Carlisle wouldn't look at me or his son, just struggled to his feet and slid around on his expensive shoes in the mud.

"I can't believe you just spoke to her that way," Edward said in a very low tone. I was pretty sure it was his pissed-off voice, though I'd never had it aimed at me.

Esme made her way over after accepting Seth's help off her horse. She came to me, brushing bits of straw off my forearms and smoothing her hand down my braid. Tears sprung to my eyes as I realized she'd checked on me before her own husband.

" _You_." It didn't take long for her to round on him. "Obviously our talk earlier was useless. I didn't marry a snob, Carlisle Cullen. I did _not_ marry a man that would be so disrespectful to a woman. You need to apologize to Bella, and realize that it's your own stubbornness and stupidity that landed you on your ass."

She was inching closer to him, and he did look ashamed of himself. He was looking at the ground, his shoulders sagging under her tirade.

"And unless you want to end up on your ass when we return to Seattle, I suggest you straighten the hell up and act like the gentleman I thought you to be."

Edward chuckled in my ear as he leaned in to my side. "How are you?"

I wasn't sure hot was an appropriate answer, but he made my temperature rise being that close to me. "I think I'm okay. Worried about this," I answered in an undertone as I gestured to his parents.

"Let's go in the house and get you cleaned up."

My brow wrinkled as I contemplated leaving them to fend for themselves. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, they'll be fine. My mother has found her backbone, Bella."

I guessed he was right. We walked through the stables to the entrance at the other end, passing Seth. He winked at me, and I assumed he would stay and referee. It was time to fix lunch, anyway, so we went inside and straight to our bathroom to dig out a washcloth. The mud was caking on the front of my shirt and the sleeves of my coat, but it wasn't as bad as it could have been—definitely not as bad as Carlisle.

"He'll need a shower and clean clothes," I mentioned, and Edward nodded before leaving me alone.

I washed my face and hands before pulling on a new shirt and re-braiding my hair, then headed for the kitchen. I'd made a beef stew that morning, and it was simmering in the crock pot. Pulling out the sourdough that was left to rise, I set it aside and preheated the oven. Domestic chores soothed me; they were what I knew. Rusty scratched at the back door, so I let him in and brought his water bowl to the sink to rinse and refill. I heard Edward coming down the stairs, and then he was wrapping his arms around me from behind as I turned off the faucet.

"You'd tell me if you really weren't okay, right?"

I sighed and set the bowl down in the sink. The porcelain was chipped in a few places, the cast iron showing through. I ran my finger over one of those rough spots as I answered him. "I admit, he startled me when he raised his voice. I haven't heard anyone yell in at least a year, and I hate the way it made me feel. But I don't want to let it bother me."

"It's understandable, baby. You might always be skittish around loud voices." He moved my braid over my shoulder so he could kiss the back of my neck. "I just hate that it was my father that scared you."

"I don't know how to win him over, Edward. He makes me break all the rules I set for myself."

I felt him tense, his hands on my shoulders turning me gently. "What do you mean, rules?"

I looked up into his concerned eyes. "I vowed to never be afraid of someone again. To stand up for myself, and not just accept crappy behavior because I thought I had to. I vowed to never let anyone make me feel violated in my own home, ever again."

"Aw, hell, Bella."

He squeezed me tighter, holding me to his chest like I was precious. I heard someone behind him, a low sound in their throat. I nudged Edward so he would loosen his hold enough that I could peer around his arm. Sure enough, there stood Esme and a muddy Carlisle.

"I'm so sorry, Ms.—Bella. I had no idea. I regret that I made you feel that way."

It was a start, so I took a step toward him. Or, I tried to. Edward wouldn't let go of me. I looked up at him pointedly, and he relaxed the shackling hold he had on me. He was so determined to protect me from his father.

"I will accept your apology, Mr. Cullen. There's a bathroom upstairs, second door on the right, and Edward has laid out some clean clothes you can wear."

That was about as polite as I thought I could be, so I went about putting the water dish down and putting the dough in the oven. Edward got bowls and the fresh butter, and even Esme came in and set about helping. She found napkins in the hutch and set them on the table. I'd had Edward and Seth dig in the shed for another two chairs, which they'd had to power wash and leave out to dry. They were so rickety that I was actually worried about anyone sitting in them, but I didn't see any alternative. My house didn't have a dining room.

I assumed Carlisle was cleaning up since I heard the pipes groan as they were turned on. I figured he heard me and Edward talking, more specifically, my confession about how he'd made me feel things I'd planned on never feeling again. I hated to be scared, nervous about what might happen, and cautious around someone that was meant to be family.

Needing a moment of fresh air, I stepped out the back door and stood on the little patch of concrete that constituted a stoop. It was too cold to be out there without my jacket, but I'd left it inside by the washing machine. I spotted Seth heading my way, and I waved.

"Miss Bella." He nodded in greeting as he came closer. "Has everybody cooled down?"

"Yes. Thank you for helping today. I know it's extra work."

He scoffed. "I don't reckon it's extra, just rearranged some. They're meant to be your family soon, and we look after family."

Now I scoffed, only it sounded more like a child blowing a raspberry. "I don't think I like the idea of becoming that man's family."

"If I may speak my mind," he began, and I nodded. "He's out of place, sure, but he's feeling a loss. He doesn't understand why his son picked a dirt farm over a slick office because it's not a choice he would have ever made. If mine were to say he wanted to go to the big city to live and work, I'd think he'd lost his durn mind. But, and it's a big but, _I'd_ let him go and pursue his dreams, while Mr. C isn't sure how to let go of the future he envisioned with his only child. He's defensive because Mr. Edward picked you over him, and he's just having a hard time getting over it."

"You make a good point." I rose up on my toes and kissed his cheek, enjoying the way he blushed. "There's stew."

"I'll have some, but I won't impose on your kitchen."

"There isn't the room, sorry."

"Yes, ma'am, I know. It's fine."

Seth would typically wait to eat lunch until after Edward and I were through, despite me offering for him to go first or for him to sit while I stood. He simply wouldn't hear of it.

"You're a good man, Seth, in case I haven't told you lately."

He smiled shyly. "I believe you have, Miss Bella."

I smiled in return and went back in the house with Seth following me. I could smell the bread, a good indication it was almost done. Edward ladled stew for Seth, and I heard the pipes squawk as they were shut off. I pulled the bread from the oven and asked Seth if he would wait for it to cool enough to be sliced. Right then I realized that life was going to go on as it did, whether Mr. Cullen ever accepted me in Edward's life or not. My ranch would continue to run, my love for Edward would continue to thrive and multiply, and we would continue to be successful. My life did not hinge on one person's approval of me.

It was a ridiculously freeing feeling, and a laugh bubbled up. Soon I was cackling, bending over and holding the counter for support. Edward rested his hand on my back and worried I was losing my mind, I assumed.

"I had an epiphany," I tried to explain through breathless laughter.

"Care to share?" he asked, still looking unsure.

"I just realized that life is going to go on regardless of who likes me and who doesn't. The ranch will still be here next week, even though your parents won't." I shot a look at Esme in apology, and she smiled as though she understood.

"You're right, Bella," she said. "And it's a good attitude to have in life." She came to me for a hug, and I enjoyed the feel of it. It was different from my girlfriends' hugs. Motherly, I guess. It was nice to know she was in our corner.

"Now who would like to eat?" I asked.

I wore a smile for the rest of the day. It didn't matter that Carlisle didn't speak to me or meet my eyes during lunch. He thanked me for the meal in an overly polite manner, and it was fine with me. It was enough.

We showed them the heifers and the milking machine. I showed them how to churn butter the old fashioned way, and then we played with the butter making machine. I showed them the silo and the machinery shed with my combine. I showed them the apple and pear trees, and noticed a frown on Esme's face.

"How do you get around? Always on horseback?"

"That, or walking. I considered buying a golf cart, but we're hoping to buy a truck with the money from the next steer auction. Right now I pay to have my groceries delivered, or one of our friends lets us hitch a ride when they go."

Her frown increased, and Carlisle was watching her warily. "And when is that auction?"

"In six weeks. Why, Mom?"

"Well, I know that you aren't aware of this, but your grandparents on my side of the family left you a large sum of money. You just can't access it until you're twenty-one."

I gasped and Edward choked a little. "Really?"

"Yes, dear, it's a tidy sum. Your father didn't want you to think you could slack off until you inherited, so he never said anything."

"When have I ever slacked off?"

"It's a fair point, but that's not where I'm going with this. When were you planning on getting married?"

By this point Carlisle was practically oozing steam, but he didn't open his mouth.

"In Spring, after the pigs are big enough to sell. It'll be enough for us to file for the certificate and pay off Edward's ring. We're only having something small, possibly in the orchards. We would love for you to come, of course, once we can nail down the date." I smiled when Esme took my hand in hers.

"I want to buy you a truck for your engagement and wedding gift." She plowed on despite her husband's agitated groan. "Nothing too fancy, but new enough that it won't break down on you."

"Oh, no, Mrs. Cullen —"

"Esme."

"—Esme, we couldn't accept. It's too generous."

"For once I agree with her, Esme," Carlisle began.

" _Shut_. _It._ "

I had to grin at the way she spoke to him. "Seriously, we can't."

"Yes, we can," Edward piped up. I turned to look at him.

"What? No. I've never taken anything from anybody I couldn't pay back or return the favor."

"And I love that about you, which is why I think you deserve this. It would make things so much easier on you, and that's my main concern." He looked past me to his parents. "Thank you, Mom, I would love to accept your generous gift."

"Esme, please be reasonable—"

"I'm done with your version of reasonable, Carlisle! It's caused a rift between you and your son, and I won't lose him because of your refusal to see what's right in front of you. He loves her, can't you see that? He's never been this content at home, or in the office. He's never looked at someone the way he looks at Bella. And dare I say he's good for her?" Esme brought her arm around me and kind of hugged me sideways. "She seems to rely on him for some things, the way he relies on her. Stop being such a stubborn mule and open your eyes."

We were pretty much all speechless after that, except for Esme.

"Now, I need to find my pocketbook and a newspaper."

I could only gape at her as she headed off toward the house.

"See, she's found that her spine is straight and strong. Let's go inside so she's not rummaging forever for a newspaper with no vehicles in the classifieds."

I didn't know what to think or say. Esme was obviously on our side, and my affection for her grew. Things would be all right, just as I'd realized earlier.

* * *

 **Not sure if we can call that progress with Carlisle or just reluctant acceptance.**


	15. Chapter 15

**The last chapter brought in the most reviews I've ever had for a single chapter. I want to thank you all for taking the time to say a little something.**

* * *

There weren't any vehicles for sale in the entire county, at least not advertised. Most people around here kept their vehicles until they ran them into the ground, and then they fixed them or found someone to fix them. It had been a struggle without one for sure, but my friends had been generous and helpful in that regard. I would be happy to stop paying a delivery fee to Mike. Even though I loved the Newton family, I didn't need to pass off any more of my income than necessary. The only solution I could find to buying a truck was to go either to Buffalo, or even further to Woodwater.

Esme was disappointed. She acted like she expected to find exactly what she wanted to buy simply by opening the paper and her checkbook, which I guess was more easily done in Seattle. I still felt weird about it, not liking the fact that someone was just giving me something, no matter how essential. Edward was adamant that if I desperately needed it, and he was unable to provide it, then he was all too happy to accept it from his mother.

Carlisle had been eerily silent since we came back inside. He stayed in the living room while the rest of us were in the kitchen. He wasn't happy about Esme's offer either, and I understood that he felt like I was seducing his family away from common sense. I didn't know how to convince him that I wasn't that diabolical. The only thing I wanted was Edward; Carlisle and Esme's approval was secondary.

The day was long and tedious. We drove more than I cared to, spent entirely too much time pretending Carlisle didn't exist, and by the time Edward and Esme found what they deemed the perfect truck I had a headache. I didn't even care to test drive it, but I did. I needed to know it would work out for me every day, so common sense won out. I did enjoy it, more than I would have expected. It was a few years younger than me, light gray with a darker gray interior. It smelled like they'd spent some time cleaning it; wax and a citrusy soap scent. It had big tires and a roll bar, and I felt safe and comfortable driving it.

"It's a good thing my old Chevy was a manual," I mentioned to Edward as we climbed out after the test drive.

He kissed the side of my head. "I figured it must have been when you went for it without any hesitation. I don't even know how to drive a manual, so I guess you're going to have to show me."

I smiled up at him. "Really?"

"Yeah." He glanced around, and saw that his parents were inside talking to the salesperson. "I don't know if you know this, but my dad is not a car guy. Unless it's knowing the price of luxury brands."

"That comes as a complete shock," I deadpanned.

He slung his arm over my shoulder as we headed back inside the dealership. The warm air was a relief, and I chaffed my hands together to rid them of the sting the cold had left behind. When we stopped in front of the desk the Cullens were seated at, Edward took my hands between his and rubbed them gently.

"So, you kids liking the Toyota?" the guy asked Edward.

I frowned. "Yes, I like it. It's the one I want."

I hadn't liked Bob the salesman from the minute he'd walked up to us, which was before we'd even made it out of the rental car. He'd addressed Carlisle and Edward exclusively, referred to me as the little lady more than once, and overlooked the fact that Esme was the one with the money.

"Good, good, so are we signing on the dotted line?" he said to Carlisle. "I gotta be honest, someone else took her for a spin this morning and was real interested, said they'd be back this afternoon. If you're serious, we need to lock it in."

"Get me your manager," Carlisle said, and for once his haughty tone of voice was going to work in our favor.

Bob spluttered. "Excuse me? Aren't we making a sale here? Nice and friendly?"

Carlisle leaned forward, his hands gripping the fake wood. " _I_ am not purchasing anything. My wife," he indicated Esme, "is buying the truck. _Get me your manager_."

Bob sighed, rising and muttering as he walked off.

"Thank you, Carlisle," Esme said, resting her hand on his chest. "He was becoming unbearable."

"He's an idiot," Carlisle responded, and Edward snorted.

"Hi, I'm Amy Saunders, the general manager. Bob said you wanted to speak with me."

We turned as one to watch the young blonde approaching us, her hand extended toward Esme. She shook her hand before offering to shake mine, then went on to the men. I liked her already.

"My soon to be mother-in-law is buying me a truck, and Bob had a hard time grasping the concept," I volunteered.

Esme nodded. "We like the Tacoma, Bella has test-driven it, and I'm ready to sign the papers. I just can't imagine giving commission to someone that won't even address me directly."

"Unless it's to call you little lady," Edward added.

"I apologize for anything that might have made you uncomfortable. Can I get the paperwork together for you?" Amy offered.

"Please," Esme answered her.

Things went smoothly after that. Amy and Esme spent the time to go over all of the details and the dotted lines, Carlisle sat in one of the visitor's chairs and focused on his cell phone, and Edward brought me coffee from the complimentary setup while we stood around and waited.

When Amy walked over to us and handed me the keys, I smiled at her. "All I need is for you to come sign in a few places for it to be yours, Ms. Swan."

"Bella."

"Okay, Bella." Amy smiled at me warmly.

"If you're the manager, how did you wind up with an employee like Bob?" I asked.

"Oh, he's been here longer than I have. He wasn't too thrilled when the old manager retired and promoted me to take his place, either."

Yeah, I doubted ol' Bob had taken that well. I wondered how much longer he'd have a job.

"Congratulations, then. You appear to deserve the job."

"Thanks." She smiled wider, making a merely pleasant face attractive.

We were finished a few short minutes later, and we headed out into the cold to start the long drive back to the farm. Edward and I were alone in the warm cab of the truck, and he scooted closer to me along the bench seat.

"I can't concentrate on the road with you that close."

"Maybe I like being a distraction," he responded in low tones against the side of my neck, where his mouth was leaving trails of humid air on my skin. Goosebumps erupted and I laughed.

"You will if we have a wreck in this truck your mom just bought."

"Eh, there's a roll bar."

I laughed at that. "Maybe so, but I don't want to test it out so soon."

I had to clench my thighs when he breathed into my ear. _Jesus, that felt good_. "Okay, I'll leave you alone so you can focus on the road."

My headache had eased sometime after the coffee Edward had given me, and all I felt now was a good kind of tension. I couldn't shift my legs as much as I wanted to, and Edward was rubbing his hand up and down my leg, from knee to thigh.

By the time we got home I was a jittery mess. We said goodbye to Esme and Carlisle, who waved but didn't touch me. Esme hugged me and promised to be back as soon as she could. I promised her I would tell her when we'd nailed down a date for the wedding, and then they were gone to pack and head to the airport first thing in the morning.

Edward tugged me toward the house with a firm hand on my elbow. I had zero complaints as the door shut behind us and he immediately pounced.

"I'm so glad they're gone," I groaned as Edward lowered his head to nibble at my neck.

"Mmm, it's a bonus that you're horny."

My hands were busy on his chest, working their way up his buttons. "I can't help it. All the anxiety is gone. I feel light." I kissed his skin where the first few buttons parted. "Free. Anyway, you started it in that truck."

"I can't help myself when you look so sexy." His mouth opened, latched on to my sensitive skin, and I moaned loudly. Shoving at clothing now, I pushed him into a frenzy. We peeled off the layers we'd bundled up in to be outside in the cold. Once he had me naked he picked me up, and my legs went around his waist automatically.

"Why, Mr. Edward, is that a carrot, or are you happy to see me?" I framed his face with my hands and kissed him.

" _Carrot_? Carrots are skinny and bent, Bella." The look on his face sent me into peals of laughter.

"And bumpy."

He growled. "Just wait until I get you into that bedroom."

"Don't threaten me with a good time, buddy."

He smirked as he walked, his hands kneading my ass. I went for his neck, kissing and biting and straining to nip at his ear. His hard length was pressed between us, and I shifted to rub along it with my core.

"Jesus, Bella."

"Do you like that?" I breathed in his ear, and a shiver ran over him. I took that as a yes.

He bumped into the doorframe as we entered our bedroom, but that didn't stop him. He kept moving toward the bed, and he sort of dropped me and slid me onto it at the same time. I laughed at his awkwardness.

"What were you comparing my dick to a moment ago?" he demanded as he rubbed it against me.

"Ah, I can't remember." I bit my lip to hold back the giggle, and moaned instead as he moved to rub his erection where I ached for him most. Through the wetness he'd created with his nearness and his words, back and forth to tease and send me over the edge.

When he gave in and entered me, I looked directly into eyes which had gone gold and evergreen. He moved within me, with me, as we reconnected after days worth of stress. I held his shoulders until his movements became fast and erratic, and then I had to push on the headboard to meet him thrust for thrust. Need and pleasure built together until I was clinging and crying out. Edward didn't take long to follow me into the floaty abyss that stole consciousness momentarily.

"We need to christen your truck," was the first thing out of his mouth when he rolled off of me.

"Now?"

He pushed up on his elbow and looked down at me. He gave me a quick kiss. "I might need a minute."

"Sometimes I wonder."

"What can I say? I'm in my prime, and you do so much to turn me on."

"Such as what? Say I'm glad your parents are gone? Because that's all it took this last time."

"Yeah, I find that sexy." He placed kisses on my nose and cheek, then nuzzled into my neck. "And this little freckle right here." He swirled his tongue over it and muscles I thought were worn out clenched. "Your throat is particularly fascinating."

"Why's that?" I asked as he kissed up the throat he mentioned.

"It's strong and smooth. Your veins show under your skin. And your pulse jumps, right here, when I touch you."

I moaned, I couldn't help it. He was nibbling on me, tasting me like I was his dessert. My legs moved restlessly. "How do you send me so high, bring me back to earth, and then get me going again?"

"Because I love you. It's easy to get you going when I show you how I feel."

"Here, though. It's cold out, and we're naked." It snowed while we were gone, and the property was blanketed in white.

"Unfortunately, you make a good point."

He maneuvered to a sitting position and pulled on me until I was sitting on his lap, then shifted his hips until he slid inside me. Indecipherable noises hummed in my throat as I moved, as I led us, and I loved it. I could bring him desire, lust, _I_ could drive him crazy. There was a difference, wasn't there, in having control and being given control? Edward gave up his power to me so that I could experience it for myself. To show me how much he loved me, he'd said, and it was evident. He had the strength to run the show and never did unless I was comfortable with it. Love surged through me, warming me from the inside out. I kissed him, kissed him with everything I wanted to show him, to tell him; there were words stuck in my throat, but he knew. He would always know because I would never fail to show, to tell, the way he did for me.

And when he faltered, when his hands gripped my hips and his head strained back against the headboard, I picked up my pace until he came.

"Damn, Bella, you kill me."

I looked at him, slumped half over on our bed where so much love had been made already, and smiled at his flushed face and the scruff that he'd been letting grow into a beard lately. His labored breathing jostled me every time he inhaled and exhaled. "I love you."

He smiled. "I know."

"Yeah, you do know, don't you?"

"Spring can't come soon enough," was his reply as he sat up to kiss me. I had to agree, since I couldn't wait to marry him now that his parents knew.

"Can I have a nap now?" I laughed as I asked. "I'm worn out."

"Anything you want."

I climbed off his lap and made my way into the bathroom. As I was coming back out, he was picking up his pants. "You're not staying with me?"

He stilled. "I thought you wanted a nap."

"Yeah, with you wrapped around me." I shivered as the cool air made itself known on my naked skin.

He dropped his pants and took my hand, getting back in the bed with me and wrapping himself around me. "I love you, too."

I smiled at that. "I know."

* * *

 **We've not seen the last of the Cullens, since they'll attend the wedding, but they're gone for now. A little less stress on these two.**


	16. Chapter 16

**I'm grateful for each and every one of you.**

* * *

The next morning found me on the porch with my coffee, as was my habit. It had snowed more overnight, and I loved to see my land and buildings covered in it. It gave everything a hushed, reverent feel. I'd already slipped on my muddy boots and wound my way to the horse barn, so there were tracks from me and Rusty, but other than that the snow was clean and smooth and perfect looking. I breathed deeply, enjoying the clean smell and crisp air.

Edward came out the front door and dropped a blanket over my legs. "Love, you'll catch a cold."

I pulled the blanket up close to my neck and snuggled into it; it smelled like him. "That's a myth, sweetheart."

"Still. I don't want you to freeze."

He sat next to me, staring off into the distance at pretty much nothing. The only view from the front porch was snow-covered bushes and the dirt road that was currently hidden. Beyond that was a neighbor's fields and a vast nothingness. It was amazing.

"Not with this blanket you've so thoughtfully brought me." I spread half of it over his lap before pushing off with my feet and sending the swing rocking gently. He scooted closer and brought his arm around me so I tilted my face to kiss him. "Now it's perfect."

It was, really. Sometimes I still wasn't sure how I had exactly what I needed and wanted. It wasn't technically perfect, but it was perfect for me. When I was married, a time I never wanted to reminisce on but occasionally did anyway, I thought God had forsaken me. I felt like He'd abandoned me, and I felt that way long after I was set free. But now it felt like He'd held onto me and kept me safe until the time that love could come to me. There was the promise of more, I just didn't know it when I was going through it. I'd become a better version of myself under the tender love and care of Edward during the summer that changed my fate, and I'd grown stronger than I ever believed possible when he left and I thought he wouldn't return. Now it felt like I had my reward for my persistence. It was blissful.

"Do you know, Edward, that I love the way you take care of me? Even if I might occasionally grumble, I love that you think of me and go out of your way to make sure I've got what I need."

His arm tightened around me. "I guess it's in my nature. I don't think about it, I just do what comes to me. I care about you, and want to care for you."

"I love that about you."

I tipped my head until it rested on his shoulder and we rocked in silence. The combination of the warm mug, the warm blanket, and yes, the warm man, made me comfortably sleepy. I yawned.

"I kept you up too late, didn't I?"

I chuckled and flushed as I remembered the many ways he'd proved how happy he was to say goodbye to his parents. The nap I'd had revived me enough that I was ready to join him in whatever he wanted, but now I was a little tired.

"I'd trade sleep for sex with you any day of the week."

"Good to know."

We watched as a truck came into view down the dirt road, snow flying up behind its tires. "That'll be Seth," I commented.

Edward hummed in agreement and didn't move. I was so content to stay right there that I didn't even get up to greet Seth as he pulled in and parked.

He got out wearing a heavy sheepskin jacket and cowboy hat. "Morning, you two."

"Morning, Seth," Edward answered.

"How is Vera this morning?" I asked.

"Fit as a fiddle, she is. Craving your apple butter, Miss Bella."

I waved my hand around. "Feel free to take her what I've got in the cellar."

"Thank you kindly."

"Not a problem. I've seen to the horses already this morning."

"Good, good."

He ambled off in the direction of the backyard and the plethora of jobs that awaited him. "I need to hire a hand to help him out."

"I've been thinking the same," Edward said. "I talked to Mr. Greene at the paper about placing an ad. We've worked out what it should say. He said to let him know when we were ready."

"Huh. Aren't you clever?"

"Anything to help you out."

"Yeah, that's true, isn't it?"

We spent a few more minutes in silence as I thought about what I wanted. I was so busy every day, always going and going, doing more than what was needed because it gave me a sense of pride and satisfaction to accomplish everything. Sometimes I just wanted to do nothing, but I never allowed myself that luxury.

"I want a lazy day," I declared.

Edward planted his feet so the swing stopped abruptly. I held my coffee cup in the air to minimize any spillage. "What did you just say?"

I laughed, and damn, it felt good. My breath left a cloud behind. "I want to wrap presents and make mulled cider. I want to build a fire and then just sit in front of it with you. How does that sound?"

He grabbed my mug from me and set it on the windowsill next to him. He grasped my face and kissed me, long and deep, exploring and tasting, sending tingles and fire spreading. "I think that's an excellent idea," he said when he finally released me.

I had to cling to his shoulders for support. "Good grief, you can't just plunder me like that and then be all casual about it."

One of his eyebrows arced up to his hairline. "Oh, you thought I was starting something?"

"Just admit if you can't finish it."

"Can't—" He broke off like he couldn't even fathom what I'd just said, then stood abruptly. The swing went wild at the sudden movement, and I gripped the edges of the seat to hold myself steady. "Let's go, little lady."

I laughed loudly as he scooped me up into his arms and moved to the door. He fumbled with the knob and had to set me down, causing me to laugh even louder. He was ridiculous and cute, and yeah, he was so damn sexy when he was trying to prove a point.

He got the door open and swung me up again. He was stronger from working the farm with me, but he was still uncoordinated, so I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe by the time he let me down near the cold fireplace. I sat on the stone hearth and watched him.

"Just so you know, I was planning on asking if you wanted me to make breakfast, but since we have things to prove now, this is what you're getting for breakfast instead."

As he spoke he lit the logs that were already laid, adding a few more small ones from the basket on the hearth. I nodded very seriously as he explained his thoughts on breaking my fast.

"Well, bring it over here then."

He stopped and stared at me, and I could see on his face the moment that what I said sank in. "You're naughty this morning."

"You started it," I accused.

"And now I'm going to finish it."

When he stepped closer and tried to pull me up, I shook my head and reached for his sleep pants. I bit my lip as I thought about what I was going to do. All it took was pulling out the elastic waistband and grabbing his hips to bring him close enough to wrap my lips around him. He made a gurgling sound in his throat, and I leaned away for a second to yank my jacket and my shirt over my head. He groaned, throwing his head back before looking down at me as I went back to my task. I took it very seriously, trying out different actions with my tongue and the level of suction just to see what kind of reaction I could get out of him.

His hands came to my shoulders, which was generally the sign that I'd better stop unless I wanted everything to come to a screeching halt. I stood and walked to the couch, removing my pants and waiting for him to join me. He undressed—he was deft when it came to stripping—and lowered me to the cushions.

"You drive me crazy in the best way," he said as he made love to me.

What could I do but smile and enjoy the ride?

We weren't elegant or skillful, but we were good at going with instinct. Touches and caresses turned into sighs and moans, and my toes curled against the tingling that washed over my entire body seconds before I came.

I woke up some time later fully refreshed. I could smell sausage and eggs and coffee coming from the kitchen, so I dropped the blanket I was covered with and got dressed. Edward was all smiles as he greeted me with a kiss and another cup of coffee to replace the one I hadn't finished earlier. We ate and chatted about inane matters, like the newspaper ad for the help we needed to hire, and when we thought we could sell the pigs. I wanted to get married in April, but it would be a little too cool for an outdoor wedding. We figured the beginning of May would work in our favor both temperature- and money-wise. We wrapped our gifts after eating, and made plans on when to exchange them with everyone.

Time typically moved slowly in the winter, but this year it flew past. We had all of our friends over at our house on Christmas Day, which was a lesson in patience for me. I loved them all, but it was too many people in my tiny living room. I wanted more space, but that wasn't even on my list of things to accomplish. I had bedrooms to put the youngest ones in for their nap, and premade food so I didn't have to crowd my kitchen. The tree Edward and Seth cut down for me was in front of the window, beautifully lit up. It was the first Christmas I'd had surrounded by family and friends since I was a young girl.

Vera was lovely with her pregnant belly, and Alice had given birth to a healthy boy the first week of December. Jessica was due just after the new year, and I ignored her constant complaining because I felt sorry for her.

Edward caught me snuggling up with Alice's baby, smelling the top of his head and swaying gently with him.

"We need to get started on one of those," he said near my ear.

I looked up into his eyes. "I agree."

He grinned. "Yeah?"

"Oh yeah." I looked back down at Finn and imagined holding a similar version. One with Edward's red hair and green eyes would please me to no end. "I'm so ready."

"That's incredibly good to know." He hugged me, trailing a fingertip over Finn's soft cheek.

"Wow, I just felt my ovaries explode. I guess we're out of luck now," I joked.

He chuckled. "Only you could turn me on while holding someone else's baby."

"Only then?" I glanced at him again as I laughed.

That time he trailed his finger over my cheek. "No, all the time. Only you."

"Okay, Bella, it's your turn," Rose interrupted.

I looked up at the rest of the room and realized that time hadn't stopped just because we were having a moment. "Sorry, guys."

I handed Finn to Jasper and took my spot on the floor in front of the fireplace so I could take my turn opening one gift. We were going in a circle opening one at a time. I'd received new gloves, rubber boots, a shawl, and several books.

It was easily the best Christmas I'd ever had, even including the years when my dad was alive and he played Santa for me. This was the life I'd worked to build, full of love and special friends. The only thing I wanted more than living in this moment was to have them all come back in May to witness me legally bind myself to the best thing to ever happen to me.

* * *

 **Thank you to That'sMzPeachesTYVM for the idea about Bella's faith holding her through the tough times, even when she doubted it.**

 **Yes, the wedding is next! ;)**


	17. Chapter 17

**One of the moments you've all been waiting for. :)**

* * *

Delicate buds were perched like luminescent pearls on outstretched branches. They littered the ground like a kid gone crazy with confetti, leaving the most beautiful backdrop. Spring had arrived on the farm, and the signs were everywhere. Hatchlings squawked from the nests high in the trees, Lucy nursed a bow-legged foal, the pigpen was empty and had been moved, and—best of all—it was my wedding day.

I could pretend it was my first if I closed my eyes and focused on the here and now. Rose and Alice were working on my hair and makeup, Vera and Jess were trying their darndest to wrangle the children and keep them from staining their fancy clothes, and Edward was waiting for me at a makeshift altar in our apple orchard.

That was the one thing that mattered, the only thing. Through the Cullen's return and my almost-father-in-law's somewhat pained expression at the rehearsal dinner, and through the thunderstorm two days ago that threatened my outdoor wedding with being pushed into one of the barns. None of it mattered in the long run. Dusty as it might be, I would have married Edward in the shed if I'd had to. Luckily the sun had held out and dried up the majority of the mud.

When I was finally deemed ready I couldn't be held back any longer. I nearly ran for the door, ignoring the women that encouraged me to slow down. I was wearing boots, after all. I wasn't going to trip on heels and bite the dust. I rounded the turn out the back door and stopped. I had to get out to the orchard, and I had to wait for the ladies to catch up and go with me. We took my truck. It wasn't attractive, but it was practical. We stopped far enough away that it wouldn't be in my direct line of sight during the ceremony.

There were hay bales lined up in rows and covered in borrowed quilts from Vera's stock. There was a clear path between them meant to be my aisle, and it was blanketed in apple blossoms. The air smelled sweet with them, and everything focused down to the man waiting for me. He was wearing tan pants and a white shirt, his ruddy hair poking up in places despite the products he'd used to try to tame it. His expression was full of light and exuberance as I moved forward.

Alice and Rose went down first and stood on either side of Edward. I stopped at the beginning of the makeshift aisle and waited for the guys. I'd decided to have Mike and Emmett walk me down to Edward, and Seth and Jasper would trade off for a semi-traditional giving away of the bride. I didn't have a father to officially give my hand to Edward, but I wanted to include everyone in my life in some way or another. All of them would stand with us during the vows, assuming Esme could rein in the children, and I knew that Rose and Emmett even planned on reciting the vows to each other in a sort of renewal of their commitment.

All in all, it was exactly what I'd envisioned.

"You look gorgeous," Edward murmured to me when I reached him. Mike and Emmett moved on and Seth and Jasper took their spots, each holding one of my hands.

"Thank you." I know I blushed.

"Who gives the care of this woman over to this man?" We were very careful in not wanting it to sound like ownership of me was being handed from one man to another. Instead, it was the looking after of my well-being that they transferred.

We'd asked Preacher Weber to come out and perform the ceremony. We didn't attend church every Sunday, but he'd readily agreed. Some of the congregation were in attendance, but I didn't know any of them especially well.

"We do," Seth and Jasper replied together.

They let go of my hands and I took both of Edward's in mine as we faced each other.

Preacher Weber began, "We are gathered here today to witness the union between Edward Anthony Cullen and Isabella Marie Higginbotham."

One of the littles started up a wail, and all of us chuckled. We were leaving out the whole _speak now or forever hold your peace_. One, because I didn't care who objected, and two, I didn't want to give Carlisle the chance to embarrass me or Esme. One of the adults soothed the child and we continued.

"Love is the most important thing. We know how we feel, each to the other, in a way that keeps us emotionally fulfilled. Love sustains us when times are tough. It keeps our spirits buoyed and our souls content. Love is the place we can come home to, and as such, marriage is a celebration and testament to that love. Edward and Bella have already joined their hearts together and chosen to commit to walking together on life's journey, and we are fortunate enough to bear witness. Now, Edward and Bella would like to say a few words."

Preacher Weber nodded at me, and I swallowed thickly as I turned to look at Edward. There was nothing but joy in his eyes, and it helped ease my nerves. "There is nothing I can say that you don't already know, but I'm going to say it anyway. You gave me confidence when I had none. You showed me compassion where before there had been none in my life. You believe in me, you push me, and you are never afraid to praise me. I feel like I can be myself and you will never judge me, only love me. I needed a partner in my life, not a leader and not a follower, but an equal. I found that in you, and I thrive under it. I love you, and I will always love you."

I realized that I was swaying in his direction as I spoke, and I stiffened my spine in the hopes that my knees wouldn't buckle when he began.

Edward brushed his hand over my temple, catching a stray piece of hair. "I'm not known for having the right words, or being overly romantic. I can only tell you what's in my heart. When I met you, I certainly wasn't looking to have my life turned upside down. I had plans, and I was going to stick to those plans. But you did something to me. You showed me a woman of strength and character, someone with a dedication to her land that I had never known. You never faltered in that dedication, even when I left to live out my plans. You flourished in front of my eyes, yes, but then when I came back I found somebody even stronger and more determined than before. You are the kindest, most thoughtful woman I know. Well, maybe next to my mom." That earned him laughs, and Esme was smiling with tears rolling down her face when I looked at her. "I never knew that I could love someone with my whole being. More than that, I didn't know that someone could become my reason for breathing. I promise to spend the rest of our lives showing you how grateful I am to have met you."

He kissed me then, even though he was jumping the gun. I let him, welcomed it even, and kissed him back.

The preacher cleared his throat and smiled benevolently at us. "If you would be so kind as to repeat after me."

Edward gripped my hands in his so tightly I couldn't feel my fingers.

"I, Edward, take you Bella, as my lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold from this day forward. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live."

Edward repeated him, and I had to smile through my tears.

"Now, Bella, it's your turn. I, Bella, take you, Edward, as my lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold from this day forward. For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish as long as we both shall live."

I repeated him gladly, and there was a bit of applause.

"Rings?"

I handed my bouquet of apple blossoms to Alice, and Rose and Emmett handed over the rings. I'd taken mine off that morning since I was only going to wear the one band, and we'd purchased Edward's just a few days ago.

"With this ring, I thee wed."

We each said the phrase to the other, and Edward went right back to gripping my hands as soon as the rings were slipped on.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife," Weber said.

"I love you."

"I love you." I leaned in for his kiss, elated that we'd done it.

We were married.

The small gathering cheered, and Edward lifted me up off my feet and swung me around. I laughed, giddy that it was done, and kissed him again as he set me down.

Everyone gathered around us to offer their congratulations, and I held my breath as Carlisle stepped up to me.

"I realized as Edward was saying his vows that I've been wrong. I know you all tried to tell me, and I'm still not completely convinced he'll be happy here." He paused, and I waited for him to make his point. Edward squeezed my hand as Carlisle looked back and forth between us. "I can see how much he loves you, and it's at least as much as you love him. I can live with that."

I beamed at him. I wanted to throw my arms around his expensive looking suit, but I refrained. I hugged Esme instead as she smiled at first her husband, and then us.

I hadn't had to lift a finger so far on any of the preparations. The church ladies and our friends had made the food, the drinks, set up the picnic tables near the barn, and decorated. Edward and I were seated at the table that held the cake. It was decorated to my specifications with apple blossoms over off-white icing. It wasn't very big since we didn't have a huge number of guests, but it was simply beautiful.

We were served all kinds of potluck style foods as we listened to the radio someone had set up nearby. It was easy, comfortable, and laid back like we were. When the song 'When You Say Nothing at All' came on, Edward tugged on my hand and brought me over to an open patch of grass.

"I'm glad I didn't see your dress before today. I love it."

I looked down like I wasn't sure what I was wearing. I hadn't wanted super fancy, but it was white and frilly. It had a deep V neckline and only fell to my knees, but there was a sash of a sage green that matched the new leaves on the trees. I felt feminine, which was something that didn't happen very often. Even in my cowgirl boots.

"I love it, too. I feel good in it."

He leaned closer, his mouth near my ear. "Shall I take it off later, or make love to you with it still on?"

I shuddered and clutched his shoulders a little tighter. "I'll leave that decision up to you."

His hands dipped low on my back, like he was trying really hard not to cup my behind in front of our guests. It occurred to me that he'd picked that song for our first dance as man and wife for a reason. He didn't always need to say what he was thinking because he often showed me.

We didn't dance for longer than that song, but Edward wouldn't let go of me. He held me around the waist as we walked around and said hello to everyone. He reluctantly let me leave his side long enough to dance with Emmett and Jasper, in the way that they led me around to one song each because I'm a terrible dancer. Seth wouldn't even consider it. Vera was due by the end of the month, but she was dancing with anybody that would take her up on the offer.

As Edward came back to encircle me in his arms again, I got teary eyed. It wasn't just that it was my wedding. It was that it was a gathering of people of all ages that loved us. Babies were passed around, and children ran between our feet. Carlisle sat at one of the picnic tables and watched, but he didn't look as sour as he usually did. They'd come to celebrate our life and love with us. They were our family, and they would remain by our sides for years to come. It was the culmination of everything I'd ever wanted in my life. When we were old and gray—and I realized I would always be older and grayer than Edward—I would look back on this day as one of the best days of my life.

I'd experienced hard times, heartaches, and loss on my fifteen hundred acres, but I'd also experienced love and laughter. I'd built my life on this land, and it was the best life I could have asked for.

* * *

 **Don't panic, but this is the last regular chapter. I have a future take and possibly an out take, so you'll see these two again.**


	18. Future Take Part 1

**There's still a high number of you not signed in. If I didn't reply to your review, that's why. I'm so pleased that you loved their wedding. Other than the obvious 'to have and to hold', I wrote the rest myself, which I've never done. I normally google vows and copy and paste.**

 **oOo**

 **I had to break this up because it was getting so long. That means more for you!**

* * *

 _Love ain't a candle_

 _It doesn't burn for one night a_ _nd need the dark to shine_

 _Love is alive_

 _And love ain't just a word in_ _every dictionary_

 _But nowhere defined_

 _Love is a man and he's mine_

 _Love is alive a_ _nd at our breakfast table_

 _Every day of the week_

 _Love is alive_

 _And it grows every day and night ev_ _en in our sleep_

 _Love is alive_

 _And it's made a happy woman out of me_

 _Oh, love is alive a_ _nd here by me_

 _Love ain't just a mood_

 _A distant far away dream t_ _hat needs the night to rise_

 _Love is alive_

 _And love ain't just a song_

 _Sweet words of music t_ _o go dancin' by_

 _Love is a man and he's mine_

 _~ The Judds, Love is Alive_

* * *

The last few years had been a whirlwind for someone not used to changes. We'd hired a helper for Seth, a young man named Brady, and they worked very well together. I no longer had to stress over what needed to be done and when, because I knew between Edward, Seth, and Brady, that my animals and my farm were well taken care of.

This was especially important since I had twins to chase after.

Brady came on with us in the weeks following our wedding. He trained with Seth because I was trying my best to act like a woman on her honeymoon, even though we'd only spent one night at the bed and breakfast in town. Edward insisted that I take at least a week to do nothing but putter around the house—and of course, have sex with him. A lot. As he pointed out, we wanted to make a baby so we had to get to work on it. Oh, it worked, all right.

The following month it was hot and muggy and I was feeling terribly sorry for myself. Those feelings didn't go away when July came around, they merely became worse. Somewhere in the middle of it, I realized that I wasn't just having some really miserable days where nothing seemed to go right; I was pregnant. I was so sure of it I didn't even feel the need to take a test. I double checked the dates on the calendar, and sure enough, the week-long honeymoon phase after our wedding in early May seemed to have done the trick. The first thing I did was call the gynecologist that saw me on the regular and made an appointment for a possible pregnancy. Then I made my way outside to find my husband.

Our marriage was new enough that I still felt a little thrill when I called him that. It curled in my belly and tickled my throat. When I found him in the horse barn with Lucy and her foal, well, that feeling bubbled up until tears formed in my eyes.

"Edward," I said as I drew nearer to where he was standing.

"Yes, ma'am," he answered without looking up. He was checking over the foal's knobby knees and bent for his task.

"It's important."

He looked up then, must have seen whatever my face was showing him. He cursed softly, wiped his hands on his jeans, and pushed his way out the stall door. "You're crying."

"It's not a bad thing; it's an overwhelming thing."

His hands cupped my cheeks as he searched my eyes. "You wouldn't lie to appease me, would you?"

I shook my head, or I tried to within his grasp. "No," I whispered. "I just realized why I've been so exhausted and moody and wanting nothing more than to bury my head beneath a quilt every day."

"How did you figure it out? You never did make that appointment with Dr. Thompson, did you?"

Dr. Thompson had been my physician all my life, which meant he was no spring chicken. I'd seen him for colds and the one time I broke my toe as a young girl, but I had never been comfortable with the idea of that man seeing any area on my body below the waist and above the knees. "No, but I did just make an appointment with Dr. Faraday in Buffalo."

"Good, maybe she can tell… you…" He trailed off, and I saw the moment he understood as his eyes widened and his face split with a grin.

"I'm positive I'm pregnant so I figured I'd need to see an obstetrician for that."

"That's fantastic!"

He let go of my face, grabbing me by the waist and spinning me around. He quickly placed me back on my feet as carefully as a china vase.

"I didn't hurt you, did I? I can't hurt the baby by touching your waist, I know that. But spinning you, maybe I shouldn't do that. Did I make you dizzy?"

"Edward, take a breath." I laughed at him, so happy to see him happy.

Instead of taking a breath, he kissed me until he stole mine. His whole body molded to mine, and I felt safe and protected, and so, so cherished.

We went to the first appointment a little over a week later. I was never more grateful for Esme's gift since we had to go so far. Edward made me sit while he checked me in, then he brought me a cup of water and a parenting magazine. His knee bounced a mile a minute as we waited and I tried to distract myself with the pictures of mothers and children in the articles I couldn't focus on.

When I was called back, the very first thing I was given was a sample cup to pee in. Poor Edward was pacing the exam room when I came back from the bathroom, and he visibly relaxed when I sat on the paper-covered padded table. We chatted about the farm while we waited, as much to keep his mind occupied as for my own sense of calm.

We both looked up when the door opened. Dr. Faraday was in her mid-thirties like me, blonde hair cut in a pixie style and kind eyes behind tortoise shell glasses. She smiled when she came in the room, in a way that made my heart beat faster. There was a difference between knowing in my gut and being given the proof.

"Congratulations, you two. You're going to have a baby."

Edward whooped so loudly I covered my ears, but I couldn't help but laugh.

If I thought I was spoiled before, it was nothing like what Edward set about doing once we returned back home. He didn't want me to lift a finger, which lasted about a week before I saw how he was running himself ragged.

"You can't keep going on like this. Take it from someone who's been there. You'll make yourself sick, and then you won't do anybody any good."

"I just want you to have everything, Bella, especially if this is the only child we're blessed with. I want you to have every wonderful experience you can while you're carrying our baby inside you."

Of course I cried, but I couldn't let him keep treating me like I was fragile.

"You heard Dr. Faraday. It's okay if I continue my usual routine. I don't work nearly as hard as I used to, thanks to you and Seth. And Brady, of course."

He relented, but only a little. He made all of our meals, took care of Rusty, and made sure I sat down in the middle of the day for at least an hour at lunch time. Vera had joined me in selling her homemade items online, and more often than not, she rode over with Seth and spent the day with me. It eased Edward's mind for me to have company in the house while he was out on our land.

When we went for my appointment at ten weeks I was about to burst out of my skin. We were going to hear the heartbeat for the first time.

That was the day everything changed. All the plans we'd been making revolved around a single baby; neither of us ever considered it would be anything else.

When the whooshing sound filled the room, Edward had tears on his cheeks. I clutched his hand tightly in mine as we listened, and the doctor moved the doppler wand around.

"I think I might need to do another ultrasound, Bella," she said absently.

"We did one the last time," I pointed out, as though she hadn't been there. There was nothing but a blob on a grainy black and white picture. Even as that picture took pride of place on the refrigerator, I had no idea what I was looking at.

"There's a possibility I need to double check, that's all. Sit tight."

Well, no woman wants to hear such a vague answer at the doctor's office, so of course I didn't sit tight. I freaked out.

"You don't think there's anything wrong, do you? Surely she would say if that was the case?"

Edward was clearly just as freaked out as I was, but he was trying to hide it for my sake. "I'm sure it's nothing to be alarmed about."

By the time Dr. Faraday came back with the ultrasound machine I was a twisted ball of nerves. "You'd tell me if something was wrong, wouldn't you?"

"Stop worrying, Bella. If I'm right about my suspicions, it isn't a bad thing. I just don't want to say anything until I'm positive."

I relaxed so much I practically melted in to the crinkly paper under me. Edward squeezed my hand and kissed my face.

After the routine of the cold gel and the wand I tried to look at the screen and see something that made sense. There was the oval of the sac, and I guess there were two peanut-shaped blobs, but I didn't know what it meant.

"Mmmhmm," the doctor murmured. She clicked several times and then hit a button that had a print-out sliding from the machine. She held it up. "This, and this." She pointed to the blobs with tiny letters next to them.

"What is that?" Edward asked, squinting.

I sat up, trying to get a better look. "There's two peanuts."

"Yes, there are."

"What does that mean, two peanuts?" Edward looked closer at the sonogram.

"It means you're having twins, Mr. Cullen."

We went home in a daze. We'd been planning an expansion of the house to include a dining room and maybe another bedroom on the bottom floor, but those were far off dreams. The kind that wouldn't come for another year, once Edward turned twenty-one and got the inheritance from his grandfather.

Edward and Seth cleared out the biggest bedroom upstairs and scrubbed it down before painting it in a soft gray with crisp white trim. It held family heirlooms for the time being, and we planned out how much more money we would have to save for a second child.

It didn't hit me entirely that I was going to be a mother, much less instantly a mother of two, until they began to move. At first it was gentle nudges that Edward couldn't feel, which greatly disappointed him. Then it gradually became shoving matches in my womb that were visible if I was laying down. Once, when I was standing outside with Seth as he showed me the wheat crops, it felt like they were doing somersaults. It was actually painful so I had to grab his arm and hang on.

I was beginning to feel like a sideshow attraction as the clothes my girlfriends gave to me no longer fit. I might or might not have turned into a raging bitch at that point in time, but I tried to rein it in.

Edward never would confirm or deny how terrible I was.

We couldn't determine the sex of the babies at any of my numerous appointments. Twin A would be in front of Twin B pretty much every time. Twin A was slightly bigger and appeared to be a girl, but without a clear shot between the legs, Dr. Faraday would only guess. It grew a little frustrating since everyone wanted to gift us clothing and other items, and they kept asking what to pick. We ended up with an overload of neutral items handed down, and I knew it would be fine either way.

Esme came out for Christmas. Carlisle claimed he had too much work to do, but I didn't mind. I didn't want the added stress of his negativity. Esme was such a big help that I never wanted her to leave. I felt like a child at that point, huge and swollen and exhausted all the time. I wasn't even sure how Edward had the patience to put up with me. Esme would run me a bath after lunch and often insisted I take a nap. I felt better most of the time after I woke in the late afternoon, finding Esme and Vera in the living room sewing. Vera had spent several days teaching Esme how to sew, and though she hadn't admitted it, I was pretty sure it was something for the babies she was sewing. She would stash it away as soon as I came into the room. It was so sweet.

When January came and went and Esme had been home for a few weeks, I tried to remember to take care of myself the way Esme had done. I was in a pretty good mood again and spent most of my time in the nursery. Esme's Christmas gift had been two cribs, huge boxes that came by delivery while she was visiting, and a soft and fluffy rug. After Edward put the cribs together, I found myself putting the sheets on and imagining our babies in them. I folded and refolded the newly laundered baby things; the clothing with snaps that was so soft and itty-bitty, and blankets with tiny patterns on them. When Esme called and asked me what I was up to, she told me I was nesting. Apparently it meant I was close to delivering.

I knew that I would likely have them early, but it put a sense of urgency in me to finish every last detail while I had the time. I desperately wanted to meet the babies I had yet to name.

There was no sense in waiting around until I went into labor and then scrambling to get to the hospital on time, so after much discussion between Dr. Faraday and Edward, we decided to schedule the birth. After many weekly visits, I was found to be dilated a few centimeters and ready to be scheduled.

Edward and I spent the day before cuddled up in our bed, acutely aware that our lives would permanently change in less than twenty-four hours. We talked about everything from how the birth was likely to go, to boy and girl names, to how we would tend to the babies at night while they were in the bassinets in our room. We had one on each side of the bed, and we both felt calm and ready.

The next day was a flurry of activity. We had to be at the hospital very early, so early that Seth wasn't at the farm when we left. Esme was scheduled to fly in mid-morning, and Rose and Emmett were going to pick her up and bring her to us. They wanted to be present for the twins' arrival, though Emmett promised to stay in the waiting room.

Looking back on it now, it was another best day for me. Even though delivery was no picnic, there was no greater feeling than the doctor handing over two bundles wrapped in the standard hospital-issued white blankets and being told we had two girls.

* * *

 **I promise to give you names, some Daddyward time, and even Grandpa Carlisle in the next half.**


	19. Future Take Part 2

**Here's part two!**

* * *

 _Our love is unconditional  
We knew it from the start  
I can see it in your eyes  
You can feel it from my heart  
From here on after  
Let's stay the way we are right now  
And share all the love and laughter  
That a lifetime will allow_

 _I cross my heart  
And promise to  
Give all I've got to give  
To make all your dreams come true_

 _In all the world  
You'll never find  
A love as true as mine_

 _You will always be the miracle  
That makes my life complete  
And as long as there's a breath in me  
I'll make yours just as sweet_

 _As we look into the future  
It's as far as we can see  
So let's make each tomorrow  
Be the best that it can be_

 _I cross my heart  
And promise to  
Give all I've got to give  
To make all your dreams come true  
In all the world  
You'll never find  
A love as true as mine_

 _And if along the way we find a day  
It starts to storm  
You've got the promise of my love  
To keep you warm_ _  
_

 _~George Strait, I Cross My Heart_

* * *

At two, the girls loved the horses more than anything else on the farm. The chickens were fun to watch and run after, but it just wasn't the same. More often than not, I found the horses with bows in their manes and tails after the girls had spent the day with Edward so I could get something accomplished in the house. They were a perfect mix of the two of us, with dark brown hair streaked through with red, and green eyes. Absolutely identical, I sometimes had a hard time telling them apart. Long before they arrived, I'd sewed a little A and a B in each of their outfits so I would never confuse them. It seemed like it would be a tragic thing to mistake their identities, babies or not. From the first day, I realized how difficult it could be. Bathing one at a time and dressing them in the correct clothes, or Edward and I bathing them simultaneously and knowing which baby we held was about the only way I could think of to be sure. Sometimes I still wondered how many times they'd accidentally been switched before they learned their own names.

Amelia and Adeline, or Amy and Addy, had everyone wrapped around their chubby little fingers. Seth would drop whatever he was doing if they came toddling his way. I'd caught him more than once with a girl on each of his hips as he showed them the farm. Brady wasn't as easily sidetracked, but he always had a big smile on his face when they were around. Poor Rusty didn't know what hit him when they reached the age of being able to crawl, and it only got worse for him as they started walking. I had to leave him outside during the day so he could keep his sanity—and his tail—intact. Eventually, we got baby gates to block off the living room so the old boy didn't have to be stuck outdoors.

Edward went to the feed store one day to pick up our standard order and brought home more than I'd asked for.

"Rabbits?"

He had the decency to look sheepish. "I couldn't help it. The girls are going to love them so much."

"If I wind up with twenty rabbits, I'm hunting you down, Cullen."

He kissed my temple. "Let's show them to the girls."

"They're napping, and I'd like to keep it that way for my own sanity." My heart melted anyway at his exuberance to show the soft little bunnies to his little girls.

"I'm going to set up their stuff. Wanna help?"

Of course I wanted to help, they were adorable.

That wasn't the last time Edward brought home a surprise animal. Besides the rabbits, we wound up with chicks, ducklings, kittens, and even a new puppy.

I had a zoo.

The fuzzy yellow chicks were easy, since they could go in with the older hens. The ducklings were equally fuzzy, but I was unsure about where to put them. I ended up sticking them in the same coop as the chickens. It was large enough to house them, and none of them were mean. The kittens were multi-colored, and we kept them in the barn in their own stall, since Edward claimed he bought them to be ratters; barn cats that would catch the mice that could eat our grain if they wormed their way into the silo. Amy and Addy squealed at every new addition, pet them gently with two fingers as I instructed them, and loved to sit in the dirt and let the critters crawl all over them.

The Christmas they turned three was when the puppy came about. Edward heard someone at Newton's Grocery talking about a new litter of pups, and he'd talked to the family and paid for one before thinking of the consequences.

It was a mutt, but a cute one.

"That puppy is staying outside. I don't have the energy to potty train it." Thank God he didn't get two, which he had with every other new pet.

"No problem. He's eager to follow me around, and he can sleep in the horse barn, too."

How many nights do you suppose that lasted? Exactly zero.

The puppy slept in our bed. It sat on my face and woke me up. It pooped on the floor and the stench woke me up. It whined and cried when I tried to leave it in the kitchen.

Edward and Seth built it a crate the next day. It didn't help nearly as much as I'd hoped, but I gave the little guy a hot water bottle to cuddle up to, which made the biggest difference. It was like having another baby.

Since we received Edward's inheritance when the girls were approximately four months old, we'd expanded the house to include that dining room I wanted, a much bigger kitchen, and turned the space at the back of the house into a bigger master bedroom with a large ensuite bathroom. The girls occupied the upper floor most of the time. I'd kept them close in bassinets when they were little, and almost never used the beautiful nursery Esme finished for me when they were born. They spent their second and most of their third year there until they started crawling out of their cribs. Separate rooms seemed like a good idea, but I always found Adeline in Amelia's bed in the morning. I ended up putting their beds in the same room and figured they could choose what they wanted as they got older.

All of my spare time, if it could be called that, was still spent baking. Vera sold her quilts and hand-sewn clothing. Esme had indeed gifted the girls with homemade nightgowns, and they wore them every time she visited until they outgrew them.

I would love to say that Carlisle was an enthusiastic grandpa, but I'd be lying if I did. He wasn't terrible, but he didn't like to get dirty. Amy loved dirt more than she loved horses, and I thought when Addy handed him a worm one time he would actually leave the state of Oklahoma. Their hands were constantly sticky and Carlisle was constantly helping them to wash up. Where he shined was right after bath time when he would let them climb in his lap and he would read them a story. They'd drag their cuddlies and a blanket with them, and those three heads bent close together to look at the pictures. That was when I could see the love inside him and it kept me from resenting the times he was aloof.

By the time they were ready for kindergarten, my daughters were tomboys in tutus. They wanted pink or purple everything, flowers and lace and ruffles, but they loved climbing trees and helping Seth do oil changes. They wanted to braid the horses' manes and then ride them through the mud. They sat on the tractors with Emmett and Jasper at each harvest in sparkly pink boots. They wrestled with our friends' children, and it often seemed a contest for who could get the dirtiest.

Their teacher and her TA couldn't tell them apart. I knew it would be that way, and I put their names on everything. It was amusing and frustrating and I loved almost every minute of it. Edward went with me to every parent/teacher conference, assured the teacher we would work on Amelia's wildness and Adeline's tendency to stare out the window instead of focusing on her work. We participated in the bake sales, which went over very well since the parents wanted what I brought more than anything else and were willing to give large donations to the school to get it. We helped plan the harvest fest and the winter wonderland party. It was almost as time-consuming as when they were home.

By February, the girls were pretty well adapted to school. There were fewer concerning notes home, at any rate. They did well with their school work and loved making friends. They shared class with several of their 'cousins' since a few of us had kids at the same time; the others they saw at lunchtime. There was something comforting about having one elementary school and one teacher per grade. There was time to devote to each individual child, even the ones that were identical.

The summer they were six and a half, Carlisle and Esme came for an extended stay. They'd stayed in the house with us since we remodeled, but Carlisle had not been with us for longer than five days yet. They were scheduled to stay for a month that time, and I was a bit worried.

They drove out themselves, arriving in the middle of the afternoon. We were all in the barn: the mutt they'd named Rascal; old Rusty who slept more than anything else in those days; the cats they'd named Tiny and Cutie; Seth, Brady, and us. Buttercup, Lucy's dun-colored offspring, was full grown and really good with the kids. She was letting the girls walk her around because they wanted to go for a ride, but I'd told them they had to wait for Grandma and Grandpa.

I shouldn't have worried so much. Carlisle had spent six years with the girls at that point, and he was slightly more accustomed to their exuberance than when they were younger. They still had the tendency to be dirty, but they were not typically sticky anymore. My in-laws took Amy and Addy for a ride around the property while Seth and Edward put their luggage in their room and I checked on dinner. No longer a novice, Carlisle nonetheless was not a pro rider, but he held his own. When they returned, the girls got cleaned up so their grandparents could hand out their gifts. They never came empty handed, to the delight of both six year olds.

We gathered in the dining room after that, and as I listened to the noisy chatter of children telling every single important piece of their days since they last saw their grandparents, I realized again exactly how blessed I was. I shot a smile at Edward as he served me first, and the smile he gave me in return was incredibly sexy. I knew there was a very good chance I was getting lucky after everyone else went to bed.

 **EPOV**

I couldn't believe that we'd lucked out with twins. They didn't run in my family, but Bella mentioned that she was pretty sure there was a set of twins in some distant corner of her family tree.

It was difficult in the beginning to keep track of which daughter needed our attention. They seemed to always need something, and I had to go through the routine of checking their diapers before moving on to what else it could be. By the end of the first month, I had it down cold, I just wasn't sleeping. By nine months, they had become mobile and were taking over the house. We'd baby-proofed the living room and blocked off the doorways with baby gates, but they were either trying to eat Rusty's tail or attempting to hoist a leg over a gate. They learned to climb over their crib rails by ten months, and we had to raise them to the highest slot they would go. By two and a half, they were escape artists, and we tried separate rooms, but they just wanted to be together. They certainly had enough stuff for two rooms.

I never could resist their adorable faces. They loved everything about the farm, from horses to hay to the fields of knee-high wheat waving in the prairie winds. There was nothing quite like their giggles as they ran through it while the wheat tickled their chins. I let them clip bows meant for them in the horses' manes, collect eggs with me, and pick apples. I might have been a sucker for tiny animals in packs of two that made my babies squeal in delight.

Off and on Bella and I talked about more children, but we honestly had our hands full with Amy and Addy. It never seemed to be the right time, and by the time they went to kindergarten, Bella was thirty-nine. We focused on them instead, on being active at their school and enjoying each other in the middle of the day again. Bella got more sleep as a result of them being gone for seven hours a day. I was lucky enough to call three girls my own, and I never wanted to be a glutton and ask for more.

My dad was never going to win grandfather of the year, but he gradually relaxed around the twins as they grew. I knew that watching him read to them was Bella's favorite memory of their time together. He did it even as they became too big to sit on his lap, instead crowding into the oversized chair in the living room. Remodeling and expanding the house had been the best use of my inheritance to date.

We thrived, the four of us. We worked hard, we loved hard, and we were rewarded with a successful farm. We hired more men—and a woman—as our operations progressed. We kept more steers, focusing mainly on that and wheat for profit, while the rest was for our use. We still kept a garden, chickens, and dairy cows. Bella still canned with her friends and sold what she could online, along with Vera. Some of it slowed down at times, depending on what she was busy with pertaining to the twins, but she always kept her hand in it.

I thought I would probably die of a broken heart when my girls started noticing boys. I was no longer the most important man in their lives. Amelia was interested in Finn, Alice and Jasper's boy, from about the time she turned twelve. He was thirteen, and she adored him. Addy was infatuated with a boy from school whose parents we only vaguely knew from church named Austin. They all went to a school dance together, and I let Jasper chaperone. I didn't think I could watch them with their first crush.

Bella was only more beautiful as she aged. I knew she sometimes worried about how much older she looked than me, but I only saw the same woman I'd met the summer before my whole life changed. I told her daily how much she meant to me, how proud I was of her and the girls. I never let them doubt how I felt because I'd grown up that way. I knew Bella had suffered without compassion for such a long time that she was very affectionate with everyone she met. People couldn't help but love her.

I knew that fall that I changed my plans at nineteen was the right choice for me, and nothing I'd experienced since proved me wrong. I worked for what I had as I said I would. I cherished the family I was lucky enough to have. I was content on my fifteen hundred acres with my wife and my girls.

It didn't hurt that my father admitted every time he visited that he'd been wrong about me and Bella.

* * *

 **I couldn't help myself; I have an out take and a 'ten years later' future take for you.**

 **oOo**

 **It's with a heavy heart I tell you that I found out today that we lost Judy Sokolowski sometime over the weekend. She was known as judyblue95 on FFN and STARS. She always had a kind word, even if she was not 100% happy with a chapter. She was sweet and encouraging, and uplifting to writers and friends. I'm going to miss hearing from her. She was already an angel, and now she has earned her wings. Soar among the clouds, Judy.**


	20. Outtake

**This came about after Edward's mention of sex in the truck in chapter 15 and many of you begged me to write it. Enjoy.**

* * *

We ran through the dark like a pair of children, hands clasped and hushed giggles escaping my throat. I had never in my life done something quite so carefree, or even—dare I say—scandalous, and it made me slightly hysterical. The door to the truck creaked as Edward opened it, and I laughed some more, covering my mouth with my hand like it was some clandestine meeting rather than my truck in our backyard. There was very little moonlight so we did almost everything by memory instead of real sight. In my mind's eye, I saw his green eyes shining with lust as he closed us in our temporary haven.

It was much more awkward than I'd anticipated, and I had pretty much assumed it would be next to impossible. Ever intrepid when it came to sex, Edward ensured I wore a skirt and he had elastic-waist pants. He suggested going outside naked, but I couldn't seem to cross that line, so we were basically dressed. I knew that my nearest neighbor was pretty far away, but it didn't matter. I didn't have it in me to go outside naked.

"Baby," he whispered gutturally. Touching and shifting, he dragged his hands over my body and latched his mouth to my throat.

"You have the best ideas." I moaned as I tilted my head to give him better access. His light scruff felt amazing and his tongue was dancing over my pulse in a way that throbbed between my legs.

"It really was a good idea, wasn't it?" he said. He pulled off my shirt and bent to his task of using mouth and fingers on my nipples until I couldn't breathe. My heart raced in my chest and my pulse beat in my ears.

I slid off the seat to kneel in the floor, and I swear I _heard_ his eyes roll back in his head. There were a few cuss words from my dirty man as I pulled his pants away from his waist and lowered my mouth to take him in. I couldn't explain accurately why I got so much pleasure out of such an act. He wouldn't dream of forcing me, and despite having had that experience in the past, this was completely different. This was me showing him how I felt, not him taking pleasure without concern for my well-being. I felt like I owned him when I gave him so much of myself.

It didn't hurt that I usually had a great view from where I knelt, which fed my imagination in the dark.

As I rose to straddle him I came close to bumping my head on the ceiling, but he shot his palm up to offer protection as I clutched his shoulders for support. He helped maneuver the both of us. I hissed as I lowered onto him, and his hands moved to cup my behind.

I traced his bare chest as I rocked, riding him and pulling groans and grunts from deep in his belly. His hands went to my breasts before changing tactic and stroking me where we were joined.

"Oh!" I cried out in actual surprise at how good it felt; he constantly amazed me.

"Oh, damn, Bella, just like that."

I found his mouth in the dark and kissed him, sucking on his lower lip the way he liked and tangling my tongue with his. I changed pace to raise and lower on his length, and the feeling of being so full and having him so deep stole my breath until I was stuttering and clenching around him.

He lost it then, driving his hips up and into me with a speed that sounded loud as our bodies met repeatedly.

"Ohhhh." The deep groan that emanated from my love was enough to remind me why I enjoyed participating in crazy sex with him.

"Go team," he said after a minute of silence where we just held each other and breathed.

"My legs are cramping."

"Sorry."

It took great effort to get back out of the truck without one of us, namely me, taking a spill in the dirt. I ended up half naked outside after all, and I discovered I didn't hate it.

"This was fun," he said as he handed me my shirt and closed the truck door.

"It was, but let's not try it again any time soon."

"Why's that?"

"I have burns on my knees from the seat fabric."

I couldn't quite see him, but he laughed in that way that usually caused him to throw back his head. "I'll kiss them and make them better."

"It's a deal."

* * *

 **I was in the middle of writing this when I thought about Edward as a dad of grown women that were looking to marry, and how he would react. That's coming next week.**

 **oOo**

 **In case you missed it,** **on September 30** **I'm pulling Jack & Crush for publication. :) If you haven't downloaded a copy, they're available in my group, which is linked on my profile. Also on my profile is my new author page on Facebook if you're interested in teasers and fun stuff for J&C and other things. I will be leaving the Daddyward outtakes, which includes a scene from J&C, but otherwise, it'll be gone on Sunday. I hope to see you on Facebook.**


	21. Ten Years Later

"You want me to do _what_?"

"Lower your voice, Edward."

"She's my baby! He's _old_."

"She's twenty-two, and he's thirty. Try again."

"He's too old for _her_."

"Did you think I was too old?"

I knew I was heading into touchy territory when she fisted her hands on her hips and gave me that _look_.

"Well?"

I sighed. Adeline was in love with a man eight years her senior. I didn't care if it made me a hypocrite, I wasn't okay with it. "Of course not, but why is a thirty-year-old interested in a twenty-two-year-old if not for sex?"

"Do you have any idea how much you sound like your father right now?"

There were several beats of silence as I considered the ramifications of that. The last thing I wanted was to give my girls a hard time about who they dated and what they wanted to do with their lives. If I was being honest, I didn't want either of them to leave and settle down outside of my house.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Bring up the subject yourself. He's terrified of asking you."

I snorted. "Tell me again why I should approve of a grown man that doesn't have the balls to speak to his future father-in-law?"

She sighed, and I knew she was beyond exasperated with me. "I don't relish the idea of our babies leaving the nest either, Edward. I don't like to think about them being women and doing _women things_ , but that's exactly what's happening. All I can ask for is that they're well taken care of, and Eric is really good to her."

When Preacher Weber had retired a few years ago, the church hired someone from out of town. It turned out that his replacement was infatuated by our older-than-three-minutes daughter.

"I know you're right." I shoveled my hands through my hair. "I seriously don't want to ever imagine my daughters doing women things either, but I also want them to experience life outside of this farm. What if it turns out they're city girls and just don't know it?"

I'd tried to convince them both to go to college in the big city, whichever one they chose. They both turned me down.

"They've spent plenty of time in Seattle, hon, don't worry about that."

"Logic and emotion are at war, Bella."

She leaned into me, kissing my jaw. "Please go talk to him."

I kissed her forehead, closing my eyes at the thought of talking to Eric. We had family and friends over for a barbecue, and, of course, Adeline had invited her boyfriend. Our daughters still loved the country life as much as they had when they were two. They didn't climb trees anymore, but they weren't afraid to get dirty, and Amelia was quite good at changing the oil on the machinery. She had chosen to be with Finn, Alice and Jasper's son, and I had a much less difficult time with accepting their relationship. I'd held him as a baby, and he'd spent plenty of time running around in my house. I knew him, and I trusted him with my Amelia.

Eric, on the other hand, I didn't know as well. He'd lived in Gate for three years, and dated my daughter for two. Technically, I knew I should give him a break, but my heart was having a hard time catching up with my brain.

I found him outside watching the young kids play in the yard. Rose and Emmett were grandparents, as were Mike and Jessica. It was a shock to realize that there was no reason I couldn't be holding a grandchild soon.

I shuddered.

"Eric." I said it gently because, despite my reticence, I wasn't planning on scaring him. He looked up as I came closer. I stuck my hands in my pockets and stood there for a few minutes while I gathered my _cojones_.

"Bella tells me you and Addy are getting serious." There, I said it. Mission accomplished. The rest was on him.

He cleared his throat. "Yes, sir. I want to ask her to marry me, but I'm afraid she'll say no."

Well, I hadn't expected that. "Why do you think that?"

"Every time we talk about the future, she says she's never getting married. She wants to be independent."

I frowned. "What the hell? She told Bella she was more than ready for you to ask her, she just wanted my approval first." Something clicked. "And she must figure I'll never give it." I groaned. "Looks like the talk I need to have is with her, not you."

"So you approve?" He looked at me with so much hope on his face.

"Eric, just treat my daughter like I treat her mother, and you and I will never have a problem." I paused. "On second thought, I tend to make rash decisions without her input, so maybe you should strive to be a better man than me."

He grinned. "Yes, sir."

I left him to find Addy, not surprised that she and Amy were in the kitchen with Bella. The scents that were coming from in there made my mouth water.

"Ladies."

I kissed them each on the cheek. Bella looked at me in that way of silent communication we'd perfected over twenty-three years of marriage. I raised my brows and pursed my lips, then cut my eyes at Adeline.

"Amy, can you bring this pie out to the picnic table?" Bella said.

"Sure, Mom." Amelia did as her mother asked, backing out the screen door with the pie plate in both hands.

I turned to Addy. "Adeline, I just spoke to Eric. I gave him my blessing to propose to you, but he's under the impression you'll turn him down."

She blushed and rubbed a palm over the side of her neck. "That might be because I told him I didn't want to get married." Bella opened her mouth, but Addy interrupted. "I had some second thoughts for a little while, thinking of the way your first marriage went. I know that Eric would never, ever act like that, and I know I can always come to you two if I need help. It was a moment of weakness, and fear of moving out and being a real adult."

"So it wasn't me?" I asked.

"Edward!"

"What?" I was relieved, and her admonishment couldn't even phase me.

"Addy, honey, don't let my past hinder your happiness."

"Seriously, Adeline. Your mother and I have set a good example for you and your sister. That's not even bragging, either. You know I love your mother like crazy, and you did a fine job of picking a man that will treat you well. Make your plans to spend the rest of your life with him. Say yes when he gets down on one knee. Be happy."

She had tears in her eyes as she hugged me. "I love you, Daddy."

It had been such a long time since she had called me daddy. It made my heart swell. "I love you, too, pumpkin."

Bella and I watched her go outside. "We did good, right?"

When she hugged me, I had to wipe tears from my eyes. "We sure did, baby."

* * *

 **This is the final chapter. Thank you for being as much in love with this fic as I am. I never thought such a random idea would resonate so heavily with readers, but I sure am glad it did.**

 **Thank you to BeLynda, Kim, Denise, Nan, and Yassie for helping me out.**

 **oOo**

 **I've mentioned it before, but if you missed it, I'm working on a fic for the end of this month. It's meant to be scary, but we'll see if I can pull that off. Follow me if you want notifications of my new stories.**


End file.
